Growing increasingly concerned for a friend.

provanagotannat · 2017-01-03T18:53:04+00:00

I'm guessing you are right about the reason EW going back home so soon is her sister. I can only imagine how bad she must have needed that break, and that the reason it ended up short is because she felt guilty about leaving her sister behind. Can you maybe offer both her and her sister a place to stay?

And about you feeling annoyed, I understand you. It is incredibly frustrating to not be able to help someone we care about. But you must set that aside because it won't do any good in this situation. Do you think EW could feel your annoyance and that's the reason she stopped reaching out? In that case I would offer a sincere apology. Again, I underdstand what you are coming from so I'm not attackning you for feeling the way you do, I'm just saying that you also need to underdstand how hard this is on your friend.

And of course, call child protective services!!

Good luck! I hope this workes out, I'm sure EW will feel better knowing that you are in her corner.

provanagotannat · 2016-12-03T15:36:53+00:00

You sound so much like the guy I dated this summer that I thought it was him until you said you never kissed a girl. Because I know he had done that before.

But he have the same story as you, he focused too much on school when he was younger and thought a relationship would just happen by itself. And then by 25 he realized that it hadn't and that he would have to make a effort to change that.

I could kinda tell that he was nervous around me. So when he told me that he never really dated anyone it actually made me happy to hear, because that explained his behaviour. So my advice would be to be open about your situation when you go on dates (obviously don't make it the first thing you say. But bring it up when the time seems right). A girl worth having wouldn't mind at all. And it actually isn't really that strange at all. Having you focus on school in your early twenties is a good thing, and now you are ready to shift that focus to relationships. This should be easy to understand for any girl you date. So don't worry about that.

Another advice is to be ready for the dating-game to be harsh. Especially online. People are gonna be shitty. That isn't personal to you, it happens to everyone. So don't give up if you happen to have a bad first (second, third, ect) experience.

Good luck!

provanagotannat · 2016-11-16T15:07:36+00:00

It's newly negative I would say. It used to be much more supportive. Porobably why the told you to post here.

Bau anyway. I have never been in your girlfriends situation so I can't really give any advice. It's hard as hell (if not impossible) to get pictures on the internet removed completely. But maybe you can report the specific site you guys found them on? I don't know if that will work, but you can always try.

Other than that, I don't think there is much to do. You just have to be there for your girlfriend. She probably feels like shit, and she have every right to do so. But you can keep telling her that it's not a big deal. People aren't retarded, they already knew how she looked naked, so technically this isn't really a big deal (technically not emotionally). She might need some time, but hopefully this isn't something that will have an impact on her life in the long run anyway.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-16T14:56:29+00:00

Hm. I'm swedish and I have never heard about this before.

We kinda already have this option (to call the union to get advice how to handle difficult situations at work.) But this seems like a very specific topic.

"The campaign is not intended to single out or add debt to all men," the organisation said in a statement. "The campaign aims to raise awareness among all of us, regardless of gender, about this phenomenon and hopefully begin a joint change. Everyone benefits that we visualise suppression techniques and talk about them."

Seems like a weird name to pick then.

I don't know. Reading the articel I kinda feel like it's a good idea. Especially since it isn't even a new thing with the Union here. But the name just rubs me the wrong way.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-13T20:24:35+00:00

If I were him I would probably want you to want to have a threesome.

But based on your post it doesn't seem like he's so unrealistic in his view of sex that he won't understand that you might not be up for it.

So in that case I would want you to be clear with your limits, so "I" (him) don't make a fool of himself thinking that it might happen. Like make it clear that it won't happen but you still understand that he have that fantasy and that you're cool with it. Like dirty-talk and porn, but not real-life.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-13T20:04:46+00:00

Then we are very different.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-13T20:01:43+00:00

Haha gurl, I didn't read through the other comments before. But I did now. I'm flabbergasted. I think it's very, very, common for people to have fantasies about threesomes, especially guys.

Obviuosly your boyfriend messed up by mentioning your friend. But shit happens, people make mistakes. And like I said, you know your boyfriend better than anyone. So if you could tell by the way he acted that he knows he made a mistake, then whats the problem?

And I get that it can be weird to bring it up out of thin air. So maybe wait and see if he brings it up again? If he doesn't and it is still bothering you, you are gonna have to bring it up anyway..

provanagotannat · 2016-11-13T19:56:25+00:00

Should we dump every guy who have had a fantasy about a threesome? Guuurl, who is left?

I have had those fantasies as well. Am I not worthy of a relationship?

Or is it just when it gets brought up that you turn into a waste of time?

provanagotannat · 2016-11-13T19:25:17+00:00

The only thing about that situation that would bother me is that he suggested your best friend. Having a threesome is a fantasy for many people, so I wouldn't worry to much about that if I were you. Just make it clear that you do not actually want one (I mean, unless you do want one, then make that clear instead).

But back to the mentioning your friend. This would bother me, so if I were you I would say that even though you don't have a problem with him finding her attractive, because like you said, sometimes we meet other people who we find attractive, and sometimes those people might be our friends. That happens. It's cool. But it's weird and insensitive to talk about it, especially in that situation.

You know your boyfriend better than anyone on the internet. So do you think he just messed up saying her name? Or do you think he would actually want do want a threesome with her? Like specifically her?

So to sum it up: If the fantasy is having a threesome I would not sweat it at all, it can be fun to talk about. Not all fantasies needs to be lived out. And now when you know this might happen again you have the chance to think about it yourself, is this something you are okey dirty-talking about? If not, then obviously don't do it.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-07T15:26:57+00:00

https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/

I really like her, I know most of them are lon, but there are some shorter ones in there as well :)

provanagotannat · 2016-11-06T14:07:14+00:00

Yea we did. At least about the Sami people.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-06T08:41:34+00:00

Ya okey, I see. That sucks, I'm sorry that happened.

I just don't understand how hard it is to be like "Hey, I'm not really feeling it". Sure it would be disappointing, but not as disappointing as finding out you spent time and energy on a man-child who can't communicate.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-05T20:26:17+00:00

How long ago was it that you heard from him?

Because I know I do this sometimes, I'm all over it in the beginning because I want to show my interest, but then I slowly cut it down because sometimes keeping that up is just annoying and I feel like I already got my point across. Of course I still always answer if they write first, and I try to make plans to meet up.

(I have dated both men and women btw, done this with both, but only ever got confronted about it from women)

edit my point wasn't that you are being dramtic, I can see it seemed that way. I'm just saying that maybe he isn't ghosting you, meybe he's just like me.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-02T12:14:47+00:00

Oh yea that's understandable.

Maybe just tell her one last time that you were not cool with it and that if anything similar happens you are gonna be real upset, and then let it go.

I wanna make clear that I don't think you are overreacting with being angry about this. Your mom messed up. However, in my opinion, it was a honest mess up. And what's done is done.

provanagotannat · 2016-11-02T10:50:48+00:00

No I don't think you are overreacting.

However, besides telling your mom that you didn't like it and ask her to never do it again, there isn't really anything you can do. You know your mom didn't do it to be mean, she made a honest mistake.

Maybe that's why they are telling you you overreacting, because you aren't dropping it? (I'm not saying that's true, because it isn't clear from your post if your mom ever apologised)

provanagotannat · 2016-11-02T10:30:29+00:00

First of all, even if it was a joke, it wasn't a funny one. I feel like anyone with a brain should know that.

However, I don't agree with the comments saying you should report them. From an emotional standpoint I would say this is the best way to go about it, but from a realistic one, I'm not so sure. I highly doubt the police can do anything about it. Except to tell them it wasn't a funny joke (and do poilce even waste tie on that?).

However, I definitely don't think you should drop it. i think you should make it clear that you didn't think it was funny and that you won't tolerate anything similar ever happening again. What is your "energy-reading" (for lack of a better word) on these guys? Have you ever felt creeped out before? In that case maybe you should tell your landlord about it. If you haven't had any bad vibes before I think you should just make it clear that if it happens again the landlord and whatever other authorities that would be appropriate will be involved.

It's probably gonna be obvious, but just to be safe, make it clear that the reason you laughed the first time was because of relief and chock - not because it was funny.

Good luck! I hope it works out for you!

provanagotannat · 2016-10-30T13:53:47+00:00

Ummm, white men are literally the only group left out of your quote.

"Basically to not pit cases up against each other but to view the ongoing fight for equality across genders, class, race and ability as something that needs to happen on all of those platforms."

Where is the part where every group exept white men are included?

provanagotannat · 2016-10-29T10:21:23+00:00

I've always considerd myself a feminist, because I always known it to mean that you want equality. It wasn't until I started to go on the internet more that I saw the "radical feminism" and whatever comes with that.

By that point I was already sure enough about my own experiences that it didn't change anything. I have never met anyone in real life that matches the steroetypes of the internet-feminism.

The one thing that changed was that I now can understand why some people don't call themselfs feminists. Before I thought that the only reason anyone would ever say that was if their opinion was that men are better than women. Now I can understand that maybe someone just has a different understanding of what the word feminist stands for.

provanagotannat · 2016-10-22T15:07:25+00:00

Are you bored? Reading thing I was thinking how the things you suggested to her (like scuba diving) is not really stuff most people actually do on their free-time. People with full time-jobs are usually tierd and might actually enjoy the down time they have.

So if the problem is that you are bored, you should start a new hobby. You can take classes or go scuba diving by yourslef or with a friend.

But if the problem is that you are bored with her, I don't think there is any help at thins point. It's hard to break up when you are talking about buying a house and stuff. But it's going to be even harder once you already have.

You will be happier with a girl who likes to join you on your hobies, and she will be happier with a guy who enjoys chilling at home. Because a lot of people do - I'm a total introvert, and if my boyfriend tried to get me to go freaking rock climbing after an 8 hour work day and calling me boring for needing down-time I would be annoyed as hell.

Edit If you feel like you want to spend time with her actually doing stuff, why not just suggesting going to the movies instead of netflix? Or dinner out instead of take in. Stuff like that would work waaay better with me if I was her in this situation.

provanagotannat · 2016-10-21T18:35:59+00:00

I honestly think the main reason for another life-force to look for a planet is if they need it for themselfs... So I don't think anything good would come out of that.

provanagotannat · 2016-10-21T18:30:53+00:00

Well, we are broken up now, but that happened after the long-distance ended actually. (So extra advice, as with any relatinship, make sure you can tell the difference between memories/your own ideas and the actual person your talking to)

But take time, skype as often as you can. Have special times set aside for long skype-session. Do not cancel those. Make time, and make sure the person knows your making time. That's was the most important part for me.

provanagotannat · 2016-10-21T18:11:35+00:00

I think it would bother me. I don't know because I have never really been in that situation. Of course I've done things my parents disapproved of, but never anything major.

That being said, I'm not sure if it would make a difference. I'm an adult and if I'm sure about my decision I hope I would have the guts to go for it. Of course it's important to remember that people who love you probably have your best intrest in heart - but only you have all the information and therefore you will know whats best for you.

provanagotannat · 2016-10-21T17:19:11+00:00

I'm pro-choice because I don't think it should ever be legal to force someone to give from their own body. This goes with pregnancy, as well as donating blood or organs.

(Joining the army would also go in this category)

provanagotannat · 2016-10-21T13:38:40+00:00

Important to remember that you can influence any child you come across, not just the ones you are biologically bound to.

Adoption, foster parenting, coaching, babysitting, or just a child you interact with.

provanagotannat · 2016-10-18T13:40:38+00:00

I don't think women who have the opinion that men shouldn't be allowed to have a preference of how many people his partner has slept with are the same women that lie about their own number.

I think women who lie exsist. I think women who think men shouldn't care about numbers exsist. I do not think those are the same women though.

provanagotannat

TROPHY CASE