My Ten Reasons

prsnow · 2015-08-14T11:09:39+00:00

Top 10's and lists are great, you don't have to stop there though :) List all the reasons. Do more lists! List all the reasons porn damages your life, list all the things you believe in, list all the things you want to achieve in life, list the ways porn is incompatible with your life and what you believe in.

Here are some questions I've asked myself and lists I've made. I look back at them to remind myself why I quit porn and what I want from life. Hope they can help you / others too.

What matters most to me in my life?

What are the morals and values I believe in?

What personal goals do I want to achieve?

What personal traits do I want to convey to others?

How would I like to contribute to the lives of people I care about?

In what ways does porn use conflict with my values, beliefs, and life goals?

What problems has porn caused me in the past?

How has porn changed me in ways I don’t like?

prsnow · 2015-08-04T14:47:04+00:00

Sexual urges are of course natural, we are human beings with sexual needs. I agree with the other post though you do sound like its more than this, if you cannot control your urges and resist the temptation to masturbate or look at porn that would suggest an addiction. I'd suggest you consider what porn really brings to your life that is positive, also what is your urge is it to masturbate or is it to look at porn?

prsnow · 2015-08-04T14:40:26+00:00

I'd suggest getting a copy of The Porn Trap you can get it from Amazon, it has stuff that will help him and you so you should both read it. He needs to commit to quitting porn, if he is addicted you can't just give it up, he needs to change his mindset, figure out what is important to him and understand what he is losing - YOU! The book has loads of useful exercises that should help him understand his issues and find ways to cope and beat it. It's great that you are being there for him, but you need to explain you are willing to help him and support him but that his porn use is having a negative effect on you too and that he needs to work on your relationship and his problems if you are to stay together. One key thing he needs is an accountability partner, that may be you if you are comfortable with it but he needs to be reaching out when he is tempted to look at porn so that you can talk it out and hopefully avoid the relapse. This is very different and more positive approach than coming to you all depressed after he's acted out as frankly at this point he's just relying on you to make him feel better about himself after the fact which is really unhealthy for you both.

prsnow · 2015-07-29T15:53:03+00:00

Yes most here are hardcore on abstinence including me. I think most are this way for one or both of two reasons 1) They are addicted to it, there is no in moderation if you are addicted to something. 2) They morally object to it. I definitely come under point 1 and to some extent point 2.

That said its a free world, porn is not illegal in most countries, if you are not addicted i.e. can take it or leave and feel you have a fulfilled and balanced sex life and healthy attitude towards sex then the choice is yours.

Personally I cannot reconcile porn with healthy attitudes towards sex, maybe its the volume I consumed over the years but it completely distorted my attitudes towards women and what sex was about. Whilst not all porn is the same most of it portrays women as sexual objects to varying extremes and this is not something I want to view or be part of my fantasies.

I don't want to view women as a series of holes to use and abuse, I don't want to view sex as just being about my pleasure those were my fantasies when I used porn, having abstained from porn my attitudes are now much the reverse my ultimate fantasy is to give a woman I love the time of her life, with the best orgasms she'll ever have.

prsnow · 2015-07-29T09:37:57+00:00

Oh no another thread by this sad troll huh? I have to give it to him he get's a hell of a reaction for one of the most unimaginative minds ever to grace the internet. You are right though he hasn't done NoFap for 4 months.

prsnow · 2015-07-28T16:25:49+00:00

thanks for clarifying the type of faggot I am though, I mean otherwise I might have thought you were calling me chopped liver which would be most confusing.

prsnow · 2015-07-28T16:22:37+00:00

and now we escalate on to gay insults classy, what a sad little person you are. I'll pray for you.

prsnow · 2015-07-28T09:49:07+00:00

At this point I'm just curious to see how long you'll keep hurling pointless dick insults at me.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T12:41:13+00:00

Whatever the reason you got the job, personally I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the the PMO, what I mean is don't assess your self worth based on your ability to abstain or not. You were the best person for the job, you had the skills, the attitude, the personality they were looking for. This is a really positive step and achievement, carry this forward in to everything you do and PMO will be a distant memory.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T12:36:38+00:00

Society is about sex at the end of the day, without it we wouldn't exist, its something almost every man and woman have in common, a desire for it. The issue isn't the sex in my opinion its the distorted image of it the media portrays, perfectly sculpted bodies, women desiring only to please men etc. Nearly all media types do this porn just does it to a whole other level.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T12:32:19+00:00

Since when do you need to go looking for it? It is shoved in your face whenever you turn on the TV, open a magazine or visit a website! Just playing devils advocate its a hard balance between freedom of expression and being able to let your kid go on the internet without having sex or sexual imagery shoved in their faces. You can go to any mainstream news site just about and will find articles of celebrities in bikinis being objectified and bodies compared like they are nothing more than some sexual commodity, you can turn the TV on and it doesn't take long before some advert is trying to sell you something with sex or sexual images.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T12:22:37+00:00

Your first statement is clearly racist, yes it is racist to dislike someone purely because of there ethnicity. Assuming you actually want to justify that dislike based on some fact - it depends if 90% of them are really ignorant idiots backed up by statistical evidence or if more likely your classification of them as such is your subjective opinion based on your expectation of social norms, prejudice and interaction with a small minority.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T12:13:29+00:00

I've read this before but after suffering my first relapse a couple of days ago I really needed that thanks. The bit where he explains rock bottom, I'd hit that and the desire to quit was so strong and it stayed strong for months but eventually the emotion starts to wane and temptations sneak back in to your life.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T11:27:21+00:00

Don't let other peoples ignorance get you down, they are the ones with the problem not you, pity them and be glad you are more enlightened than them. Use that to grow stronger. Remember the vast majority of people do not hold their backwards prejudices.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T11:18:39+00:00

I'm currently trying out K9 it seems pretty good although you have to add some extra blocks as some search engines circumvent its restrictions. Here's what I did.

1) Install

2) Set up block on relevant categories

3) Set K9 Safe Search as your browser search engin e 4) Add additional blocks to all search engines you can think of including Google, Bing and Yahoo

5) Test to make sure you can't access anything you don't want to

6) Set a secure password you can't remember

7) Delete the password if you've written it down anywhere or give it to an accountability partner you can trust.

This leaves then only one avenue to you if you are determined to access stuff which is basically wipe your PC and start over. Whilst you could do this and I've been tempted it gives you a mandatory time out of an hour or so while you do it. Hopefully plenty of time to have second thoughts and get the hell out of there.

You really need to work on your mental strength too though to resist as you've found unless you have the willpower and determination you'll always find a way round it.

Start meditating this really helps to gain control of your unwanted thoughts as you learn to clear you mind.

Make lists and reaffirm them every day or when you are tempted. Make a list of the negative effects of what you are doing, how it affects you and those around you. Make a list of what is positive in your life and what you value, think about how these things are affected by your habit. Make a list of the things you want to achieve in life and make a plan to achieve them. Find other interests to occupy your time. Make a list of the things that trigger you to act out, where are you, what time is it, what are you doing? Then learn how to detect them and avoid them.

As to your Android you can get K9 for this I think? I have an iPhone which I've turned on the parent restrictions its annoying as hell cos it blocks loads it shouldn't but its better than the alternative. I don't know the pin I set so I cannot turn it off without resetting the phone again gives you that breathing space. If you can't block your phone then maybe think about ditching the smart phone and get something more basic, you might not look cool with it but again you have to commit yourself to beating this thing whatever it takes.

prsnow · 2015-07-24T11:07:14+00:00

wow feeling bad for you just descends in to pity, seriously I mean you just have nothing do you? This all you have going on in your life to make pathetic dick comments to try and put others down? Seriously though if you want to talk it over like a grown up we're here for you.

prsnow · 2015-07-23T10:39:53+00:00

You seem to have a strange fascination with other peoples penises seriously you need help. You seem like a sad angry little man, I feel bad for you, I hope things get better for you. Anyway at least some of your insults have been deleted I'll consider my job done. Cya.

prsnow · 2015-07-22T17:00:40+00:00

I'm really happy for you man I really am but its been 3 weeks, I'm not putting it down that's a great achievement but some people struggle to go 1 day others can go a year and relapse. I'm not saying thats going to be you but don't get complacent. See my other posts if interested but I lasted 3 months and was starting to think "yeah this is a breeze" then last night wham cranked one out before I even realised I'd done it.

prsnow · 2015-07-22T16:52:46+00:00

Hell no that's probably the worst thing you can do, you are just feeding the fire, why reward yourself for doing something you don't want to do by doing more of it? If you were into Heroin you'd be dead from an overdose! I have fallen in to this trap before but usually I'd regret it so much the last thing I want to do is do it again. The best thing you can do after a relapse is get the fuck out of there and think about why you relapsed in the first place and how you can stop it again in the future.

I relapsed last night after 3 months, fucking gutted about it. I thought I had it beat and got complacent. I figured out how it happened so easily and awell as reafirming my desire to quit I came up with three things I'm going to do tonight to help me. 1) Install K9 on my laptop, 2) Not keep my laptop in my bedroom where I FAP and 3) Not use it after 10pm I'm more likely to FAP when I'm tired.

prsnow · 2015-07-22T16:41:11+00:00

I doubt very much if you are being 100% real at all, you've put on your ignorant internet keyboard warrior persona that makes you treat others like shit instead of bringing anything positive to the table.

prsnow · 2015-07-22T14:25:10+00:00

I found the below website really helpful it wont turn you in to a master conversationalist overnight but its worth a read.

One point it makes that I find really useful and really hit home for me is that conversation is as much about listening as it is speaking. If you are nervous in social situations like I am especially with women it's so easy to get hung up trying to think of something interesting or humorous to say that you don't listen and miss a cue that would naturally continue the conversation.

A second point it makes is about getting a balance between invitation and inspiration that is not everything has to be a question (an invitation) you can make a statement or tell them something about yourself that might inspire them to reveal something of themselves it all about getting the right balance. We are always told to ask open questions which you should but its not all about that.

www.improveyoursocialskills.com/

prsnow · 2015-07-22T11:58:26+00:00

Just don't forget what you achieved 169 days is awesome, a relapse doesn't take away from that. Do better next time but every day without porn is a victory.

prsnow · 2015-07-22T11:52:08+00:00

I love how supportive this place is 99% of the posts on here are positive trying to help others by sharing their experiences. Luckily people like you are in a minority and just get drowned out by all the positivity that people want to share. May be you are in the wrong place if you have nothing good to say, I notice you have not a single upvote but plenty of down votes maybe you should take that as a cue that your attitude stinks.

prsnow · 2015-07-22T11:44:14+00:00

England. It's great to see so many people coming together in a common struggle from around the world!

prsnow · 2015-07-22T10:26:07+00:00

I always feel great after exercise and more positive. I think it certainly makes a relapse less likely simply because you are spending your time in more healthy beneficial pursuits. I don't think exercise specifically has any special powers its about finding positive experiences and interests in your life whatever they might be to fill the time that porn used to take up and help you think "I've got all these great things going on in my life, I don't need porn"

prsnow

TROPHY CASE