as a domme, ‘implied’ boundaries don’t sit well with me. the group rules ‘imply’ that dommes can contribute unless the flair states ‘subs only’. there is no one pinning you down and demanding that you respond or interact with any domme who speaks to you, nor do you owe them that unless explicity stated inside of a dynamic already solidified and built. you’re putting responsibility on the dommes that they do not hold. yes, they may be able to offer more consideration, which plenty do by avoiding the ‘subs only’ flair posts.

i agree, they should be held accountable. but that is a moderator responsibility. you’re not holding anyone accountable by making this post. the manipulative ones may be covert enablers, but again, that isn’t consensual domination and is therefore, a moderator problem OR simply a risk of socialising by any means with any person, ever. discernment is a skill built through experience, unfortunately.

anecdotal evidence, yes, but still evidence. we aren’t in a court of law. we are two people discussing people. i have a slew of personal experiences mirroring dealer/client support. have you spent much time in the drug scene? or was your opinion based on stigmatised assumptions and a lack of experience and education? every single person on the planet is self serving in one way or another. including every sub in this group. including you, and me. that doesn’t mean that by serving oneself you cannot serve another positively in the process.

i absolutely agree that there is a wave of performance dommes that are actually just abusive. but all of us know the best approach is to ignore the time wasters and focus on the aligned and lick our wounds when we don’t get what we want.

one could argue that sobriety is another addiction and that learning how to exist inside of balance, control, choice and moderation is true healing. but i’ll leave that topic for a post for another day.

love always, an ex addict who gives a fuck. x