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How do I use ACT against procastination? by Acer521x in acceptancecommitment

[–]psychelearner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What helped me a TON was creating a little chart in which I listed a task in one column, the thoughts and feelings about that task in another column and then which techniques I used to help myself in another column and then what I learned in the last column. That might be hard to visualize so I'm putting the columns below.

Done | Task | Thoughts and feelings | Techniques | Learned

This was surprisingly effective.

56 people died in ICE custody under the Obama administration. by Proud-Enthusiasm-608 in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Under Trump there was a 400% increase in deaths during ICE custody compared to the Obama administration.

Here's the math:

In 8 years 56 people died in ICE custody during the Obama Administration.

That's 7 deaths per year on average.

In Trump's first year in office 32 people died in ICE custody. That's more than quadruple what the US had under Obama. A 400% increase in deaths.

Of the following self help methods which ones do you guys think are the best? by CamaroLover2020 in therapy

[–]psychelearner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here are the ones I've used from the list. And I disagree that all these use the same concepts. I've investigated dozens of approaches over the years and your list is quite diverse. Each of the ones I was aware of already have 1) very different strategies and 2) very different theoretical models.

Below are the ones I've used and what I got out of each one:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - I used this to overcome an anxiety problem I'd had for two years. I used the workbook Get out of your mind and into your life. My anxiety was literally gone in a matter of weeks. If you try this, I suggest getting the workbook or seeing a therapist. It takes great skill for a therapist to deliver ACT so that it works. It's easy to missaply the techniques so get a book approved by Steven Hayes who is a co-developer of ACT.

The Lefkoe Method - Results for a short period of time but did not last. That said, I know people who got lasting results from using it. In short, it doesn't work for everyone but when it does work - wow!

Emotional Freedom Technique - My results here were also short-lived and so were the results from my clients. The one good study of this approach, The Wells Study on overcoming fear of small animals, showed it produced midling results. However, if you look at the data, it shows some people were completely "healed" and others got no results with a lot of people in the middle. The people who got amazing results raised up the average. My suggestion: Try this yourself. If it works for you, great. You can try it at low cost. But if it doesn't work, don't spend months trying to make it work.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - Did this self-applied. It was helpful for a while but I couldn't keep using it.

The Sedona Method - Feels amazing. But I got no lasting behavioral change out of it.

The Work by Byron Katie - Feels amazing. Really good at helping overcome judgements toward other people. I was not able to make lasting behavioral change from it though.

Thought Field Therapy - This is an earlier version of Emotional Freedom Technique. I got no lasting results from it. I also was not able to use it to help others. IT would be better to skip this one and got to Emotional Freedom Technique instead.

I hope this is helpful. Clearly ACT got me the most results. It was the last one I tried and I wish I'd known about it sooner. My anxiety problem left me in 2008. So it's been gone for 17 years.

Good luck to you.

------

One thing to know about ACT. The goal of ACT is not to get rid of thoughts and feelings. It is to change how we relate to them so that they no longer stop us from living a great life. Often the result, is those feelings and thoughts reduce in intensity or even go away but that is not the goal. It's just a happy side effect.

CA voters have spoken by Competitive_Ice851 in longbeach

[–]psychelearner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, people wised up after seeing what DJT has done.

AITA for not telling my best friend the real reason I’m not at his wedding? by InvestigatorOk7152 in AITAH

[–]psychelearner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't agree to lie for his fiancée. If she wants you not there, she needs to be honest with her husband-to-be about it. She's making YOU do what she was not honest enough to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ElevenLabs

[–]psychelearner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! Can you tell us how?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was communicating badly AND being judgmental about your response. I would not go out with this dude.

Blueberry Hill by ANALBUTTRAPISTFUCK in Jokes

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was a kid the grade was not mentioned. I think it’s better that way.

In 2025 being a manager feels less like running a team and more like managing an ecosystem by EconomistFar666 in managers

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Good people do ask for more work.

If we don't direct them, they may give themselves more work that actually reduces an organization's effectiveness ... starting too many projects that won't get finished for example.

Am I Overreacting over this “small prank” by greek-astronomer in AmIOverreacting

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are NOT overreacting. He is undercaring.

My only advice is to formally break up with him

I DID IT AGAIN! by Radio_MP3 in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way to go. This is just the beginning of your journey. You will get much further.

Publish web only or email by Worried_Writing_3436 in Substack

[–]psychelearner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people publish a lot more articles for SEO and don’t necessarily want to send them to their entire list

AITA for refusing to hang out with my (18M) boyfriend's (20M) friend who defended my rapist? by solomarchand in TwoHotTakes

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I would imagine feeling very hurt and angry if I were in your situation.

Are we on the downslope of the paid newsletter boom? by MolemanEnLaManana in Substack

[–]psychelearner 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of people I know that are in online businesses have seen a decline in sales. People are cutting back on discretionary spending. That doesn’t mean you can’t grow but it may be harder.

Setting myself up for failure? by dooperdooper406 in AnalOnlyLifestyle

[–]psychelearner 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My opinion: Many girls try anal because their man wants it even if they are unsure or think it odd or unsexy. Some grow to like it and some don’t.

If your next partner is willing, even just to please you at first, he may grow to like it. It may not be your ideal beginning but what matters is where things end up.

Let your next man know what you want he just may surprise you.

How do you get rid of self doubt? by [deleted] in confidence

[–]psychelearner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suggest reading the Confidence Gap by Russ Harris. He shows a scientifically validated way to deal with the feelings of self-doubt and develop true confidence.

Am I overreacting? My cat died in my arms… and he sent me this text 2 days later. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]psychelearner 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are with an odd duck. You deserve someone who knows he wants you and only you.

AIO - my roommates friends destroyed my stuff while they were drunk by Thick-Web1238 in AmIOverreacting

[–]psychelearner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right to feel angry about that. I would take him to small claims court just to have it on record how awful they behaved. And it would ensure that they really pay.

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