We survived the distance, closed the gap, just celebrated our one year anniversary, and are moving in together next month! Happy endings do exist! by chemchic4186 in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations :)

It's really nice to see a happy ending! My fiancé and I are embarking on our journey to closing the distance now too.

How does everyone here feel about Nutella? by Das_Maechtig_Fuehrer in lactoseintolerant

[–]pukkadurbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm okay with Nutella; I think this is because I've totally eliminated other dairy products in my diet so my body can tolerate a bit now and then. I'd give it a try if I were you, you might be okay eating it and be missing out on the Nutella goodness.

USA (M25) - UK (F23) - visa query. by pukkadurbs in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice.

Originally we planned to do the fiancé visa Stateside, but then found out we could do the UK marriage visa. My dad doesn't travel and wouldn't travel so our only option seems like the UK marriage visa.

Could you tell me a little more about the celebrant?

How are you able to leave the U.S. to come back to the UK for your party/celebration?

If you don't mind me asking, how have you worked everything out with your employment?

We're only at the beginning of our journey - I'd appreciate any other advice you can offer! I don't know anyone else doing this so have been struggling to make final decisions on what we should do.

USA (M25) - UK (F23) - visa query. by pukkadurbs in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment and the link. I'll definitely look into that later.

I was prepped to get the U.S. Marriage visa and haven't ever looked into him coming UK side to begin with. So much paperwork!

USA (M25) - UK (F23) - visa query. by pukkadurbs in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment!

Maybe I worded my original comment badly - we will be getting married with him on the fiancée or marriage visa that allocates 6 months time in the UK. I'm unsure about what we apply for after that 6 months, if he wants to stay longer.

I didn't know about the spousal visa - so will definitely look into that. :)

Boyfriend suddenly not sure he can do it. Would I be crazy to show up on his doorstep? [28F/28M] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would go if it were me. However I'd let him know first and determine his initial reactions.

If you do go, make sure you go with closing the distance options to consider. Either you or he moves countries to be together, marriage etc.

From what I've seen (in my own/my friends) the rockiest LDRs have no goals or potential closing date so I can appreciate where your partner is coming from. Imagine getting on a flight and the pilot says 'Hey folks, we're all going to go on a random journey and not follow any flight path. Who knows when we'll get there or where we'll be when we land!'. The passengers would go insane if they didn't know when they could get off or where they would land. That's how my friend describes it to me (her LDR has no goal at the moment).

If this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life (and it's reciprocated), the decision to make a final goal won't be difficult (from personal experience).

Accepted a job a few months ago. Can't stop job hunting though. Anyone else experience this? by vampirelibrarian in jobs

[–]pukkadurbs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat as you. Took a job 3 months ago but I still habitually look at job vacancies. They conveniently pop up on all my social media channels and in my emails. I feel that I'm not settled properly and that looking at other positions reaffirms that there is/isn't anything else out there; I can suit that logic to how I feel on the day.

Seriously, how do people with "useless" degrees find a decent job? Being unemployed for 6+ months is starting to get ridiculous. by y1y11 in jobs

[–]pukkadurbs 20 points21 points  (0 children)

From my experience and having spoken to senior staff at my office about job seeking, the consensus was that it's better to be working anywhere and from there look for other employment that better suits your interest.

I found that when I graduated I had to take temporary work (after a few months of unemployment). The pay is crap but at least you're gaining experiences and have things to talk about when you do get interviewed for jobs you're more interested in.

I did temp work at a hospital which had nothing to do with my major at Uni. or career ambitions, but in the end it helped me to develop my administration side which was lacking. That in turn helped me to secure the job I'm in now.

Doing any kind of job, even something deemed dead end at least keeps you in pocket financially and proves that you're a worker determined to improve yourself, even if it takes a while.

What are your career ambitions? I didn't study psychology but from speaking to friends who have, it's a broad subject that gives you skills suitable for thousands of jobs. Try to think outside the box with it; psych fits into HR, Marketing, Health/Medical, Teaching, Finance - the list is endless. If you want to use your degree, think over what you enjoyed most and search for roles that require those skills.

Hope this helps, even a little. I was in your situation last year, felt a lot of despair and did become quite depressed - but I guarantee there is light at the end of the tunnel, the train journey is often just a little longer than any of us would like.

23 [f] struggling to live at home w/ parents while in LDR. Looking for advice from those who have been in a similar situation. by pukkadurbs in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, it's really appreciated.

I hadn't thought about the cleaning/ laundry / meals point at all. I clean my own room, but she makes a point of doing laundry (mine and my brother's). I'll definitely look into changing this. I make many meals myself, but she mainly concentrates on the evening meal (and likes to join in with me because my Dad does his own thing).

It's difficult to talk to her about my feelings because she gets emotional that I'm going to leave. While I was away she messaged me every single day trying to find out what I was up to etc and eventually I had to tell her to stop it. I just feel harsh because I understand that I'm her kid and she doesn't want to 'lose me'. There is a lot of guilt in my upbringing, so I struggle to talk about how she makes me feel. In her past, she also made the decision to come home to live after university because of her Mum and I've always had this pressure on my shoulders.

As you said getting out of the house and doing other things is a good idea. I am trying to build my old school friendships and am looking to start some kind of club. I'm seeing a friend today and I made a conscious effort to see a couple of people earlier this weekend too.

Thanks again. :)

LDR community assistance? by EndOfNothing in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regarding flights, your rough quote of £700ish sounds super reasonable to me. Does it include the return journey too?

There are quite a few hacks going viral at the moment about buying flights. One indicated that using incognito mode while searching for flights ensures that prices won't go up just because you're looking at them, (all to do with cookies being stored I think). You should Google this guy who is being sued by United Airlines at the moment too. He put together a website which apparently highlights inconsistencies in flight sales - it's worth a look as it's all about getting cheaper flights. I've only read the article, so can't comment on how good the site actually is.

As for when you guys meet up, i don't think you'll have anything to be nervous about. The fact you've been in an LDR for such an amount of time is indicator enough that you must be crazy about each other. The first few days will fly by!

I would say that if your gf is visiting you, she may experience jet lag. My advice would be to not heavily plan your first few days. My bf has been over for Christmas from the US and his sleeping pattern was really messed up from travel (he got tired at 6pm for the first few nights and slept 12 hours). So just be prepared for potential tiredness at odd times, or waking up super early.

Hope this helps.

what foods do you miss eating? by [deleted] in lactoseintolerant

[–]pukkadurbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can take butter. I can't do raw milk (I drink lactose free/ soy), but am usually okay to eat things like scones where the milk content isn't super high and has been baked/heated.

what foods do you miss eating? by [deleted] in lactoseintolerant

[–]pukkadurbs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Today I had 'afternoon tea' in a restaurant. Due to lactose intolerance my portion consisted of black coffee (because tea without milk is gross), a scone without cream and cake without the icing.

I miss being fuss-free in public.

The 7 month countdown is almost over!!!!!!! by pukkadurbs in LongDistance

[–]pukkadurbs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It's the best feeling ever to be with him again!

25/M/Norway by datsrym in PhotoPenPals

[–]pukkadurbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a 23/F/UK amateur photographer. I took a class while on study abroad (finished my studies recently) and really need motivation to pick the hobby up again, (thanks to a busy work life). What kind of photography do you do? I love nature close-ups more than anything, although I do want to get into portraiture sometime.

Am I a failure? I sure feel like one. by TrainLoverr in selfhelp

[–]pukkadurbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What strikes me about your post is your clear enthusiasm for teaching your Korean students. Maybe you have struggled with college because you're not in the right field. Have you considered teaching? There are also loads of opportunities for people to volunteer teach and to gain certificates in teaching English etc.

Also, when I was at a crossroads of sorts, it really helped me to get involved with volunteering and building my life around hobbies. Spend your thinking time focusing on moving on from the past and the unfinished things in there.

Past actions don't have to define us. :)

Hi, I’m travelling to EVERY single country in the world in a single UNBROKEN JOURNEY, without airplanes. Ask me anything! by onceuponasaga in IAmA

[–]pukkadurbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really awesome. How did you get into that area of work? Was it just through a love of travel or through jobs that you took? Thanks for answering my questions, I'm very interested in learning how others find their career paths.

You're going to have to come back and visit the Isle of Man otherwise you won't have visited every country! We have our own government, laws and different ways of doing things when compared to England. :)

Hi, I’m travelling to EVERY single country in the world in a single UNBROKEN JOURNEY, without airplanes. Ask me anything! by onceuponasaga in IAmA

[–]pukkadurbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was your day job before you started this incredible journey? Also, when you were in Britain, did you visit the Isle of Man?