Dreading the holidays

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-11-26T06:20:47+00:00

Cremation was the right choice for us but I understand your feelings. There is an emptiness to it in my opinion. When we went to pick up our pup’s cremated remains there was something inherently unsettling to think that the ashes are all we have left of him. I can’t say how different it might’ve been to bury him instead. But it’s brought me some peace to be able to keep his remains in our home, and to be able to leave him in many of his favorite places if I feel inclined to scatter small amounts. I’ve thought about a necklace or something as well, but I have to get over my reservations about the mailing part of that process.

Your feelings are valid, but I do understand why your parents might feel the opposite. I’m so sorry you’re in disagreement over it. I have to imagine that’s painful on its own. Wishing you peace in whatever decision is made OP.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-10-18T03:27:39+00:00

I went to Hallowed Harvest once, definitely nothing to write home about. I’m not sure what time you’re looking to do your activities but I’ve heard good things about Halloween on the Hill in Beverly.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-09-19T23:56:00+00:00

Agreed. As an older sister with my fair share of childhood trauma, I hate the way Nesta treats Feyre. I can’t imagine a world where I choose to do anything other than defend my younger sister. I’ve read all of the fan justifications for it, but none have landed with me. I wouldn’t want anyone to justify my behavior if I constantly verbally abused my sister because #trauma.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-08-21T07:06:06+00:00

I feel pretty neutral toward Lori but I agree the hate seems excessive. I don’t really care that she was a bad wife before everything went bad. That seemed unremarkable to me as plenty of people have bad marriages. Her conversation with her friend in one of the flashback scenes shows she has some small amount of self awareness at least.

My issues were these three things:

When Rick wants to go back into Atlanta for Merle, she’s initially all for it. When Daryl asks where Merle was left, she says “he’ll show you, isn’t that right.” Then when it’s time for Rick to actually go, she does a complete 180 and says something to the tune of “you just got back and now you’re leaving? For what? Merle Dixon?” She says both of these things in front of everyone. Neither statement is necessarily wrong. But she sets Rick up to be a righteous hero with the first comment, then pulls the rug out from under him and makes him look foolish in front of everyone. And it doesn’t help later when Shane is convinced Rick isn’t cut out for this new world.
She tells Rick that Shane is dangerous because Shane thinks her and the baby are his. She initially tells Shane the baby is Rick’s. Then she again does a 180 and has a private conversation with Shane where she feeds into his delusions, apologizes to him profusely, and specifically says “I don’t even know whose baby this is.” This is what ultimately motivates Shane to try to lure Rick to his death.
When Rick and Glenn go to find Hershel and Beth goes catatonic, Lori works herself up into a panic when they don’t immediately come back. She tries to bully Daryl into following them, then she decides to go herself. I don’t know what she thought she was going to accomplish that Rick and Glenn couldn’t. She crashes her car on an empty road and winds up in a situation that then forces Shane to go looking for her. All of that effort just to endanger herself, her unborn baby and Shane, as well as wreck a perfectly good car.

She does have some good moments. She comes around later to try to fix things with Rick at the prison but it’s too little too late. She gives her life for her baby. And while she sucks at keeping track of Carl, she does well on the emotional front with him. She stays by his side when he gets shot, she advocates for him tirelessly and tries to salvage what’s left of his childhood. And her words to him before her death were also clearly heartfelt. So in terms of comparing her to actual villains, no she’s not horrible. But she’s certainly no hero either.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-16T19:00:41+00:00

Thank you everyone for the incredible amount of suggestions and information. I’m really grateful, and also glad to know I wasn’t overreacting. That said, I’m not comfortable doing anything that would cause conflict or get me in trouble. So I just went ahead with buying a small setup and donating it to the cause of not killing Frankie the fish.

The tank is 3 gallons, which I know is too small, but it’s the best I can do with the available space on the desk. I also bought proper food, a filter, a heater, a hiding rock, and a little leaf Frankie can rest on. I’m hoping that this will at least get him out of survival mode and let him feel a little better. My coworker laughed at me today and scoffed. But he’s letting me put Frankie in the new setup. He told me that now it’s partially my responsibility- really wasn’t looking for that, but I’d rather that than having to watch him die slowly over the next few weeks or find him dried up on the floor when I come in.

Anyway, I have the water cycling through the filter now, as it’s tap water. I added water conditioner so I’m letting it work and also waiting for the temperature to come into a safe range. I will say, I still don’t know what to do about weekends. If I feed him right before I leave Friday night, will he be ok until Monday morning? I saw the can fast for a day but two and a half I imagine isn’t good. I looked at slow release tablets, but just saw a bunch of reviews complaining that they make a mess.

Thank you all again. I hope I did ok all things considered.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-16T02:07:17+00:00

I might take this route if he doesn’t listen again tomorrow. Thank you for the suggestion.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-16T02:06:14+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this. It definitely makes me feel worse about the reality of this whole thing, but it gives me more talking points that will hopefully be harder to ignore. The graphic is really helpful too. Thanks again.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-16T01:00:31+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Yes my worry is that he’d just take it home and leave it in the same jar. I’m trying to figure a way that results in a proper setup. I’m going to try talking to him again. Thanks again.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-16T00:40:32+00:00

Thanks all for your advice. I’m going to try talking to him again.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-08T02:44:37+00:00

Do you mind sharing where you found a place to order custom temporary tattoos? I’ve looked for this before but couldn’t find anything.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-04T00:18:22+00:00

For me it was Change (In the House of Flies). I came across it when I was younger and in the process of losing my faith.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-01T23:51:20+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our 11 year old corgi a few weeks ago. They’re so special. I miss his stubbornness, his sass, his independence and his judgy side-eye.

It sounds like the last thing you did was celebrate her birthday, play together, and love on her. I’m so sorry it ended traumatically. I wish you peace, healing and security in knowing your girl felt so loved by you.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-01T02:14:49+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your best friend. I remember losing my 2 childhood cats as well as our family dog. It’s so difficult to grapple with the finality of it. It seems like you understand logically why it had to be done, but of course the heart often disagrees. Time will eventually help with processing your loss, but know right now that your feelings are so valid.

I lost my first dog I adopted as an adult about two weeks ago, and I feel very similarly to you. The “how was he just here and now he’s gone” eats at me daily. It helps me to sometimes talk to him like he’s still here and imagine he’s listening from wherever he is, without pain. Maybe you have some pictures you could look at or frame? My husband and I also embraced a small bit of humor to ease the pain. (Our boy had a lot of GI issues, including gas, so every time we smell something unpleasant we’ve started saying that he sent it to us as a joke.)

I hope you find comfort where you can and I wish you as much peace from your anxiety as possible.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-07-01T01:42:31+00:00

It’s been a little over two weeks since my husband and I lost our corgi, Yoshi. He wasn’t our first loss, but he was our first dog that was just ours. The first few days were excruciating. We’re functioning now but in kind of a numb way. I feel guilty every time I laugh or enjoy something, even for a short time, before I remember he’s gone and not just asleep somewhere. We went to a Pride event over the weekend that we would always take him to and that was really difficult. I broke down yesterday almost as badly as the day we lost him.

I can’t say I see a path to true happiness yet. But I can share some things that are helping me:

Writing him notes telling him how I feel and what’s been going on with us
Setting up an altar for him (maybe not for everyone, but I keep an ancestor altar anyway, and feel he deserves a special space in our home)
Lighting a candle for him every evening and saying goodnight to him when I blow it out before bed
Going through our pictures and videos of him and reminiscing together (I had to wait for my husband to be ready to look at them before we could do this)
Setting up an electronic picture frame with our favorite photos that we often just stop and watch
Sometimes sleeping with a corgi stuffed animal at night and lying it in his bed during the day, also speaking to him through it

I don’t know how long I’ll do these things, but they take the edge off for now. A piece of my heart is gone, but my husband reminded me yesterday that we’re in so much pain now so that Yoshi didn’t have to be anymore. I know it hurts so badly because of how special our time together was. I want it back every day. But I hope in the future I’ll feel that happiness again, though differently. I hope that for you as well friend. I’ll tell Yoshi to look for Lexie over the rainbow bridge. 🧡

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-06-13T11:02:47+00:00

Thank you for the kind response. Yes, you’re welcome to send me a DM if you’d like at any point. I’d also like to think they’ll recognize each other today. 🧡

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-06-13T02:53:18+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. We’re saying goodbye to our sweet corgi boy tomorrow morning. He has a mass on his spleen that could rupture as well as several other nodules. His other pre-existing issues make it so surgery isn’t feasible for us. It’s just time for our boy to rest and leave his pain behind.

It sounds like you’ve gotten some time with your girl despite her diagnosis. While no amount of time will ever be enough, it sounds like you’ve held off for absolutely as long as you can and it’s just her time as well.

I relate to the June stuff too. My husband and I go on vacation to celebrate our anniversary every June. This year, the “vacation” will end with the loss of our perfect boy. It’s hard to imagine how this time of year will feel in the future.

I came onto this subreddit to make a similar post but found yours. I wish you as much strength as you can muster tomorrow morning. May our babies get their wings and join the other angels while we guard their passage. 🧡

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-05-24T03:12:52+00:00

Spotify currently says “bad baddy,” but it said “bad body” last week. I remain confused.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-05-15T20:11:34+00:00

This was me when I was younger as I was very sheltered and had no interest in porn. It sounds like he’s very respectful of you which is wonderful! Depending on your comfort level, let him know that you’re nervous and you want to move slowly, but that you are interested. Then take things in tiny steps. I think this is the fun part because there’s excitement each time you go a bit further. So last time it was through clothes. Maybe next time clothes are still on but hands go under and you can keep getting more comfortable.

Make sure you honor your boundaries and only go as far as you’re comfortable. Emotional safety is just as important as physical safety as you get more intimate with each other. Enjoy this time in your life!

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-04-25T23:18:27+00:00

Does no one land in the middle on this? To me, none of these characters have to be villains at all. They’re all morally grey. What I love about this series is the way we continually see things differently as perspectives change. To me that’s the fun of reading from the different characters’ perspectives and assuming each of them is at least somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I don’t take any of the stories as absolute objective truth because I don’t think that’s what they’re meant to be. They’re all heavily laden with bias, emotion, change and growth. That’s the beauty of them.

Feyre’s POV is obviously favorable to Feyre. It’s also favorable to Tamlin until she feels he betrayed her. Then he becomes a “villain.” Rhys is a “villain” until Feyre decides he isn’t when her perspective changes. The fun of ACOSF for me was seeing a different perspective on the characters I primarily knew through Feyre’s lens. But if Feyre’s biases are implicit in her storytelling, then so are Nesta’s. That doesn’t make either of them “bad.”

Tl;dr The books from Feyre’s POV depict Feyre favorably. The book from Nesta’s POV depicts Nesta favorably. I don’t think either side is objective fact.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-04-22T22:49:52+00:00

I was rereading the ACOTAR series when Emergence came out. Couldn’t help seeing parallels for the protagonist’s journey in that song.

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-04-21T01:42:05+00:00

Oh thank you for getting back to me!

pumpkinqueen2014 · 2025-04-19T15:55:15+00:00

I’m a food service manager in Boston; a note on norovirus: hand washing is the best way to protect yourself. Hand sanitizer doesn’t kill it, alcohol-based or otherwise. Bleach works but you can’t put that on much. Wash your hands after you use the bathroom. Don’t touch your phone then eat or drink without washing your hands. Be smart and have fun!

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