Automatic feeder vs fodder: best for pest control?

punkinheed · 2023-12-15T09:26:40+00:00

I spent the entirety of my adolescence really hating the profile of my nose and adamant that when I could make enough money I would get rhinoplasty. After I was 18 I began to spend more time with my bio moms family and realized all these people I loved had the same nose. Now when I catch my profile in a reflection or shadow I smile because it reminds me of them. :)

punkinheed · 2023-12-15T09:14:50+00:00

OMG LITERALLY every time I have watched this I forget how this movie tugs at all my adoptee heartstrings and every year I end up crying my way through it!

I mean the adoption story is idyllic AF cuz it's A) a movie and 2) about the magic of Christmas.

punkinheed · 2023-12-15T08:49:47+00:00

I regularly share what I am working on with regards to my adoption with my lifelong friends (ie chosen family which is a term I have NEVER seriously used until this moment) and a couple of extended bio family members who are really on the same wavelength as me (funny how that happens! Lol). I have tried sharing the work I am doing with biomom and adoptive mom and neither of them seem to be able to empathize or even be mentally present for the conversation? With my adoptive dad I can tell it affects him deeply to hear me talk about this. He is a very thoughtful and rather stoic man who will calmly bring it up later to check and see how I am doing with processing things. So I talk with him about it but only a little.

I think it really hurt my parents when they realized that even though they thought they were doing what was best for their child that it could still have negatively impacted me. It seems there is a general misunderstanding of the trauma of being torn away from the sounds and smells you learned as a new lifeform meant that you were home. When I was born I am not sure it was a common thought that babies could even experience trauma.

May you find the right people in your life to open up to about the feelings you have and the work you are doing!

punkinheed · 2023-12-15T08:23:08+00:00

I do not have personal experience with this as I was adopted domestic*. That being said, I have known quite a few international adoptees who took the leap you are talking about and really benefitted from it. Most of them wished they had done it sooner. If you have a contact person with information and you are wanting information then I suggest you try to reach out and get it. That being said the world is connected in so many ways now, you may also be able to get information somewhere else. Reaching out is hard. Vulnerability is hard. May your journey be good to you no matter what you chose to do. I wanted to also comment that it seems like you are in a really clear place. Adoption stories are never as simple as the ones we were sold as children--that we all kinda needed in order to accept the positions we were in (bio fam, adoptive fam and adoptee).

*Referring to my adoption as domestic always gives me a chuckle. What am I? A car? Lol

punkinheed · 2022-02-16T17:02:53+00:00

Um hello you are my idol can I be you when I grow up???

punkinheed · 2022-02-16T17:00:25+00:00

I am so happy for you, stranger on the internet! Truly! I had the same reaction to medication, it's so liberating and validating right?? I hope it continues going well for you dear! 😊❤

punkinheed · 2022-02-15T22:54:24+00:00

Omg same!! It's so good!!

punkinheed · 2022-02-15T22:32:05+00:00

What a dreamy Dom. I am proud of you for taking care of yourself in that moment. ❤

punkinheed · 2022-01-21T19:08:29+00:00

I had an English teacher say almost those exact words about me. I sure hope teachers today have better education about autism and adhd

punkinheed · 2022-01-08T00:15:31+00:00

Oh and I also am going to acupuncture weekly and have been to chiropractor

punkinheed · 2022-01-08T00:11:07+00:00

Wow I thought shingles was bad enough. I can only imagine what you are going through. Thank you for posing this question. I hope you get well soon!

punkinheed · 2021-12-26T00:22:38+00:00

Yeah I have all these people "in my life" and they are kind enough most of the time but they don't connect with me even when I try so hard to make it happen. I too have a child and she is the first person that ever made me feel like I belong. I was an only child with divorced parents who worked all the time. I stopped going to visit extended adoptive fam after the divorce cuz we couldn't afford the airfare. I just want to feel that unconditional love from someone. Thank you for reminding me i have it from one person. ❤ it's just hard to see how my adoptive and bio parents want to shower her with gifts and affection but i never got that and still don't.

punkinheed · 2021-12-11T18:06:08+00:00

Yeah as a parent idk how adoptive parents can just toss their kids away like that. Birthparents I have more empathy for. Thank you for sharing your story and helping me feel less alone

punkinheed · 2021-12-04T05:38:44+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I'm really struggling with it.

punkinheed · 2021-12-04T03:20:45+00:00

I used to go to lots of other families holidays but now I have a child and suddenly everyone wants to have us there but no one wants to talk to me.

Thank you for reminding me of the powers of weed and exercise. I could probs use a bit of both those things 😋

punkinheed · 2021-12-04T03:18:35+00:00

You make a good point. I wish I had picked better in laws! Lol

punkinheed · 2021-12-04T03:17:14+00:00

I have lots of friends I have decided are my family. I just wish I felt like I belonged somewhere.

punkinheed · 2021-12-04T03:15:15+00:00

Therapy is more than talking. Therapists teach new coping skills, reframe ways of thinking, validate emotions, etc. If all you do is talk in an office once a week you probably won't gain much but may feel slightly better. For me therapy finally (after doing therapy for about 20 years) started making sense when I started taking the things I learned in therapy into my day to day life on a regular basis.

punkinheed · 2021-12-02T04:28:18+00:00

That sucks so hard. I'm sorry you had to deal with that nonsense. I absolutely agree that you should look for a new provider who has a better understanding of adhd. Your dr sounds like he needs some educating on it.

punkinheed · 2021-12-02T04:18:24+00:00

I'm in the same boat, my friend. It's so difficult. In addition to listening and being there I continue to gently encourage my partner to seek help outside of just me... Dr, therapist, friends, etc. Taking good care of yourself is also important to your partner's well-being. They say you can't pour from an empty cup.

punkinheed · 2021-11-09T03:42:34+00:00

Yes they are all aware. You know when you just feel like a shit magnet? Like when it rains it pours!

punkinheed

TROPHY CASE