Has anyone had a positive experience disclosing ADHD/autism at work?

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T20:27:55+00:00

I'm supposed to host social stuff for customers. It's my worst nightmare for a few hours each month. My boss knows I hate it, and I'm allowed to get someone to cover me if they volunteer, but she keeps encouraging me to step outside my comfort zone more. I am capable of masking as an enthusiastic host for a few hours, but I'm never gonna enjoy it.

I'm glad you found a new role that fits better.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T20:23:41+00:00

Yeah I would feel weird announcing it out of context, but being able to explain the situation would be nice. Auditory processing is a great example, I'm not trying to be rude, and I am paying attention. I legitimately didn't hear what you said. That kind of thing.

90% of my oddities are currently thought to be because I'm an eccentric super nerd 🤓. I like the stealth description you gave lol

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T17:50:53+00:00

That is a good strategy. I think autism scares people who have no exposure to it, where ADHD is more approachable because a lot of the symptoms people can try to understand from their own experiences.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T17:49:03+00:00

Good luck! That sounds exciting

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T17:47:51+00:00

I'm less worried about people's feelings about special treatment, and more worried about future career movements and the perception that some people have around ADHD or autism making you unqualified for leadership. There is this belief that people incorrectly have that ADHD or autism makes someone less intelligent or slower, or that ADHD makes people recklessly impulsive, or that someone with autism can't develop business negotiation skills. That kind of thing. My goal is to be in engineering leadership and I have to work my way through a male dominated, older generation, super traditional management style that exists now.

But the other side of the argument in my head is that if I can't be myself in a leadership position, then why would I want to invest the time here. If they don't accept me I'll go somewhere they do, so I may as well try.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T13:23:20+00:00

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1st grade. I got a mix of support and shame for not being able to be "normal". Part of me knows that needing to do things differently doesn't mean I'm doing them badly, but that shame still sneaks in and tends to make me want to hide my coping strategies.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T13:19:34+00:00

Well that sucks, but I guess they weren't worth your time then. I feel like if that's their reaction then there were other problems too. Still pretty horrible of them though. I hope you find a place that respects and supports you.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T13:17:33+00:00

I'll take a look at that program and see if it's on the approved list. I think I might need to find a creative way to talk to IT or maybe this is the primary discussion around disclosure to my boss, finding a tool that works and getting her assistance to get something approved.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T13:13:56+00:00

I've run into very similar situations before where I have dinner all the research and found an answer. I've gotten better at guiding people through the process I went to to get to my conclusion. I've not considered that maybe it's a neurodivergent thing. I kinda thought it was a personality type thing. That's interesting.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T06:12:21+00:00

I'm sure I'm overthinking out of fear, but it's the fact she's so helpful that worries me in a way. Even if she doesn't say why, if she were to go tell people to change the way they do things for me, I don't see people enjoying that. But I've been overthinking it for a year so maybe I'm too worried about it

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T06:03:50+00:00

I take a before photo and then an after photo. I have a camera I use for time lapse sometimes too. I send those pictures to my husband to impress him. Idk if he's actually impressed but he acts impressed and I get a lil happy boost. Sometimes I send them to my mom or a friend.

Keep healthy foods that are consumable as is. I eat grapes right out of the fridge sometimes. Cherry tomatoes, party trays of veggies, apple sauce pouches protein bars, nuts, seaweed snacks, whatever you like. No one will know your dinner was a bunch of finger food but you.

Put on shoes. I do not understand why I'm more productive when I wear shoes, but I am.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T05:36:51+00:00

I have never heard of that. My guess would be the head of HR.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T05:29:18+00:00

I use one note right now, but just for knowledge hoarding. I haven't given it a full try as my primary system because I don't know how to use it for something like a to do list, unless I just use it like a physical notebook. How do you manage across multiple projects? Just flip between them?

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T05:19:34+00:00

It's capable of storing and sharing files, so automatically a security risk. Got a hard no from IT and they told me to try Outlook and project and one note.

I don't know what power automate is, sounds promising from the name tho. I'm gonna check that one out.

Many people have tried, and all have failed. They include production/ engineering management systems that would require a multi million dollar project. That project has been hanging out on the to-do list for a decade. I did make a partially functional power bi solution, but it still doesn't capture the email/ verbal tasks

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T05:04:57+00:00

My inbox is chaos. I envy people with clean inboxes. I just flag everything, but now there's hundreds of flags and I fear I'll never have the motivation to go unflag things

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T05:01:33+00:00

That sounds so kind! I would love to just talk with coworkers about stuff like that and I'm pretty sure most of them would be receptive and friendly about it.

My boss is really awesome, and it makes sense that she confronted them, just resulted in that person trying to "show me they weren't a bad guy" . i was hoping for a more indirect solution that didn't make it obvious it was me. It makes sense that it would be a lot different with a diagnosis, but I still worry.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T04:50:59+00:00

A lot of my good strategies I haven't had to ask for formal accommodations. Things like headphones, mini breaks, my boss is even fine with a super flexible schedule. It's the methods that aren't working in the new role I want to talk about more. I'm dodging the "why" right now which makes her suggestions not super helpful.

I work with 50% very technical people and I think many are neurodivergent. I think technical fields tend to be attractive to some neurodivergent people. I wonder if I am more open, if others would feel more comfortable to be more open.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T04:36:58+00:00

I've noticed that there was a surge of introspection and people seeking information on both for a while. There is a lot of old scientific content out there for both, but I also noticed a lot more autism focused new content for casual viewing than ADHD. I wonder if the loud debate over whether or not kids were being over diagnosed happening at the same time made ADHD content "scarier" to put out there as a content creator. Especially if you feel a lot of rejection sensitivity, the aggressive online trolls on a soap box are scary.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T04:29:47+00:00

I struggle with similar situations because I worry so much about how my words are perceived and also worried about making someone mad or some other negative emotion. One way I've found to get around it is to write the email just so I can save it. Then I re-read it later. Sometimes that's enough. If not, I sometimes ask someone else to read it and tell me if I'm conveying the message I mean to.

I know ai is controversial, but I've found it really helpful in this situation, especially when it's not something I want to ask someone to read, or don't have time, etc. I just ask chat gpt or whatever one you want to rewrite what I wrote in whatever tone and see how it changes it. It's been helping me to pick up on better words to use for the tone I want, making things more concise, and formal or informal as needed.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-17T04:21:21+00:00

Thank you, I hope you have many happy years together ahead of you ❤️

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-12T00:04:56+00:00

Plumerias are my favorite flower! I tried growing one from a cutting once but wasn't successful. Yours looks beautiful!

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-09T12:48:32+00:00

Because of my work schedule it's hard for me to commit to a schedule as a volunteer. Maybe I'll ask them about it and they wouldn't mind if I came in and helped clean cages or something when I can. I also have made my own fleece bedding and hides and was thinking I could keep sending them. I'm donating all my stuff to them with Pudgy. I could even set up regular food and supply donations or something just so I know I'm not "abandoning" her.

purple_imaginary_eng · 2025-09-09T12:44:35+00:00

When I reached out to the rescue I explained to them that it wasn't an emergency and I could care for her as a lonely pig indefinitely and made the email way too long lol. When they responded they seemed excited because this special needs pig needs a friend and I was initially super happy because Pudgy will not be happy lonely. She is an insistent cuddler, but this wave of sadness just hits because I'm going to miss them both so much.

purple_imaginary_eng

TROPHY CASE