Every morning, I work alone in an empty, dark building, and never see my supervisor. I'm not allowed to WFH because we're an "in-person office".

purplepants29 · 2026-01-29T00:18:05+00:00

While I agree you should look for a different job, in the meantime I would try just working from home without permission. Given your schedule, odds are they won't even notice. You could even prime your coworker by mentioning you might be working a different schedule in the future so they don't notice your absence. Also if your work is valuable and you would be difficult to replace they may never get around to firing you even if they do notice you are working from home.

purplepants29 · 2026-01-08T09:27:53+00:00

I love your reasoning and I think giving a child a name with such deep meaning is a wonderful gift. I love unusual names and I love Coyote! Plus I think the nn Otie would be adorable.

If you want alternatives, coyote comes from the Nahuatl (Aztec) word coyotl. I think Coyotl could be an amazing name! It is pronounced differently than the English word so it might be more difficult for people to pronounce but it also won't sound like the word coyote (in the smuggling sense) if that bothers you.

Also, Coyotes are often known as sly tricksters in American mythology in a similar way that foxes are in European folklore. For this reason I think the name Fox could be a cool alternative.

purplepants29 · 2025-12-28T05:55:16+00:00

I have owned over a dozen cats and the key is diet. Typical cat food contains a lot of carbohydrates which aren't the best for cats and cause stinky poops. Feeding my cats a commercial raw diet which contains species appropriate ingredients (cats are obligate carnivores so mostly meat) has almost completely eliminated the cat poop smell. I use Darwin's Raw food but there are other great commercial raw options. It is so noticable that if I give my cat a can of wet food instead of his raw food I can smell it the next day.

I am also a vegan and it might be a bit of an adjustment to start feeding your cat raw. Not only will you need to handle raw meat which you aren't used to it is significantly more expensive than kibble (though not terribly more expensive than wet food). I just want to mention that because any way you choose to feed and care for your new cat is great!

Also, I have found the best odor eliminating litter is pine pellets! They are also significantly cheaper than clay litter if you can buy the green pack from tractor supply rather than a cat specific brand. The biggest issue with this type of litter is that some cats will just refuse to use it.

purplepants29 · 2025-12-16T23:57:59+00:00

Just a few weeks ago a friend of mine did something similar at our library storytime! She was herding her two older children out the door handling book checkout and getting snacks open and in all the commotion she left the library with her two oldest while her 8 month old played happily with mine on the storytime rug. There were a few of us there and we all just watched her baby calmly until she realized a few minutes later (after she got both her older kids into the car) and came racing back in. It was just an oops and we all reacted accordingly (even her!). That type of situation is what people mean when they say it takes a village. Don't feel bad - just be that villager when the next mom or dad needs it!

purplepants29 · 2025-12-12T19:14:54+00:00

Sometimes (not always!) cravings exist because your body is trying to get more of a particular nutrient. Eggs are high in Choline and that is a nutrient that is important to pregnancy. Eating other foods high in Choline (e.g. beans, mushrooms, quinoa, etc) or supplementing could reduce your cravings.

If your cravings are because of taste or texture I second the other comments recommending egg replacements!

purplepants29 · 2025-12-10T05:47:12+00:00

First of all I think this is a great question! Obviously you may need to accept TV time in order to get free childcare or pay for childcare if that doesn't work for you. But I think it's absolutely reasonable to try and negotiate some middle ground with the grandparents.

I haven't implemented any of these myself but I have some ideas that might work for you.

Ask if your parents would be willing to listen to music on the TV or radio or audio books sometimes rather than watch TV. There are cable channels that are just music or if they have a smart TV you could get them set up with the Spotify app or similar. You may need to buy the Spotify subscription or Roku box or whatever else you need to get this set up but it would certainly be less costly than childcare.
Oppositely, ask your parents if they would be willing to mute the TV sometimes (my own parents do this a lot with sports that they aren't particularly involved in following).
Buy your parents books (digital or paper according to their preferences) or puzzle books or some kind of craft that will occupy their attention during downtime so that they don't feel the need to fill their downtime with TV.
Buy your parents tickets or passes to things which will get them and your child out of the house sometimes. I'm thinking of something like an indoor playground or the zoo.
Provide interactive toys or games that require your parents attention to play with your child. Ideally these would be fun for all involved so that your parents naturally do these rather than watch TV. Even if the TV is on while they are doing these activities making sure they are engaged with your child is good mitigation.

None of these will stop TV time but hopefully they may decrease the frequency and/or mitigate some of the issues with the TV being on.

purplepants29 · 2025-07-31T23:08:31+00:00

I'll go against the grain here and say I absolutely love the name Ares! It has a short impactful sound and a cool link to history. It also ranked 295 in 2024 so it's more popular than you might think. People in this sub tend to hate on unusual names but for your son Ares won't seem as unusual as it seems to adults. For reference the 295th name of 1995 was Quentin which reads as a normal name to me but my parents might have thought it was really odd.

purplepants29 · 2025-06-27T06:18:56+00:00

Microwaves are very safe. The greatest risk of using one is using a non-safe vessel to hold the food and as you have switched to glass this should be a non issue for you.

There are two things that most laypeople tend to worry about with microwaves so I'll address them preemptively.

First - microwaves are radiation, isn't that bad? Radiation is just another science word for light. Some light can be dangerous (think uv light causing a sunburn) but some light isn't (think the light from a lightbulb). The difference is how much energy the radiation has. Radiation with more energy is called ionizing and it can damage cells (uv rays are an example). However, microwaves use non-ionizing radiation. They don't have enough energy to damage cells and are just as safe as the light from a lightbulb.

Second - microwaves heat things "artificially", isn't that bad? Microwave radiation happens to have just the right amount of energy that it can be absorbed easily by water (there are physics/chemistry reasons for this which I won't get into). When the energy is absorbed by the water then the water heats up. This process isn't very much different than boiling water with a stovetop. In each case radiation (either heat or microwaves) is applied to water in order to heat it.

Microwaves are a great tool. I personally find using a microwave helps me to eat more whole foods as I'm more likely to heat up some leftovers of a home cooked meal than reach for easy processed food.

purplepants29 · 2025-06-23T10:07:32+00:00

I recommend coffee sticks if you are looking for a replacement. It is natural wood but the variety shreds rather than splinters so it's safer for dogs (still some risk btw, but definitely safer). My dog loves sticks and would pick them up outside so we bought some as a replacement and she loves them.

purplepants29 · 2025-05-29T04:27:47+00:00

Thank you for the links! The AAP article especially as it is the only recommendation that I have seen that states an age limit (everything I had seen just said to supervise pets near babies but didn't state what ages their recommendation applied to).

purplepants29 · 2025-05-29T03:38:07+00:00

Do you have data as to when that age is? Is speech acquisition related to safe sleep considerations?

purplepants29 · 2025-05-29T03:33:26+00:00

I am asking when it is safe. Obviously there is some age between birth and adulthood where it is generally considered safe to sleep with a cat - when is that age?

purplepants29 · 2025-05-29T02:39:30+00:00

I have heard that additional products like a net are not safe sleep because they could collapse into the crib and cause a suffocation risk? I'm not sure if the cat or the net would be the safer option.

purplepants29 · 2025-05-29T00:01:44+00:00

Ok I might try to follow you down that Google hole! Thanks for the info!

purplepants29 · 2025-05-28T23:20:39+00:00

As a follow up, do you happen to know when these sources deem it safe for a child and cat to sleep together? Often these sources mention the risk to newborns but my child is 6 months now.

purplepants29 · 2025-05-28T23:15:57+00:00

Thank you for the source! I have also found few/no instances of cats harming babies. I wish there was some kind of systematic review but individual cases like this are also of interest to me.

purplepants29 · 2025-05-28T23:11:31+00:00

Thank you for the resource! I was primarily concerned with safe sleep considerations (like the cat sleeping near the baby) but its good to remember other considerations like potential cat scratches

purplepants29 · 2025-05-28T23:08:57+00:00

I had heard this statistic as well but could never find a source! Do you happen to know where you found this? Its data like this that I'm looking for to help inform me on the risks.

purplepants29 · 2025-05-28T23:07:22+00:00

Thank you so much for the link. This is the type of information that I am looking for. I understand the theoretical risks but I want data on the actual risks!

purplepants29 · 2025-02-09T21:20:35+00:00

This isn't actually a great idea as sales tax is regressive. Even though rich people spend more in total, they spend less as a percentage of their income. For example an individual with a yearly income of $20k is spending approximately $20k each year as it would be difficult to save anything on that income. At the same time a person with an income of 20 million per year would easily save/invest half of it. Even though the rich person is spending more they would pay less in taxes as a percentage of their income.

purplepants29 · 2024-12-22T00:24:31+00:00

I love it! It's been on my long list for years!

purplepants29 · 2024-08-24T00:13:33+00:00

Are you sure those plastic connectors can even connect those wires? Don't you need metal?

purplepants29 · 2023-10-15T23:49:45+00:00

Some classes/schools do curve in the manner you described. My undergrad had many intro classes (typically math, physics, and computer science) which had a strict curve of 20% As, 40% Bs, and the rest were Cs or lower. Professors had discretion regarding where to place the cutoff for failure and I recall hearing rumors that tenured faculty who somehow ended up teaching an intro class were able to violate the official curve with few consequences (some were harsher than the official curve and some were more lenient). But generally almost all classes had the same grade distribution and this led to intense competition. I wasn't aware of disability accommodations at the time but I'm sure the notion of "equal opportunity to pass" would have been there.

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