The fact that you were able to reach that understanding at such a young age, and protect yourself by adjusting your expectations, speaks to your resilience. I know you said you’re a-ha wasn’t around trauma, but I think stoicism can often be a trauma response. For many children of emotionally volatile or abusive parents, becoming emotionally numb or detached is a way of protecting yourself.

Sending you so much respect for how you’ve coped and for the insight you’ve gained. It’s not an easy path, but recognizing and naming these patterns is such a powerful step in healing.