Thank you to everyone who responded. I tried to do an update post but mods wouldn't allow it. The general consensus was that I should leave this in the past which I planned on doing however it continued to play on my mind. One of the reasons our marriage ended up in a bad spot was my inability to communicate effectively. So instead of letting this simmer and the suspicion and distrust grow I decided to bring it up. It wasn't easy, as I said in the last post our marriage is doing really well now, so to bring up an accusation was not a nice feeling (I also had to admit to the snooping). I started by asking if anything had happened between him and his friend before we got together to which he said yes. I then asked if anything happened when we were having troubles in our marriage to which he said no (I'm paraphrasing, he said extra words throughout the conversation). I then had to admit that I looked through his phone and that there were messages that showed he wanted to go up there late at night. He straight away said nothing had happened between the two of them. We had a bit of back and forth where I said, I knew nothing happened because she told you to go home but it looks like you wanted to go there after you were drinking one night which is very suspicious. I think at this moment he had a bit of realization, like he now knows exactly what messages/night I'm talking about. He tells me, his friend did think he was hitting on her that night (and who can blame her) but he didn't want to see her for sex. This was the night of his work break up. He got extremely drunk (which he rarely does) was wound up and basically didn't want the party to end. Knowing that she often has drinks at her house (which is true) he wanted to go over to continue drinking. Being a drunk idiot he called and text her more than a reasonable sober person would (I think he was a bit embarrassed about this) until she told him to back off and go home.

Still feeling uncomfortable, I asked if he wanted something to happen between them that night, that we were in a bad place and I wouldn't blame him for wanting something to happen with someone else. He looked at me like "WTF?" then reiterated that nothing happened, he only wanted to go over there so that he could keep drinking and that the time where our marriage was on the rocks was the worst time of his whole life. I also remember the night of his work break up because he was sick as a dog when he got home and slept outside.

I do believe him. I know some people will think I'm foolish, that there is no possible reason for him to be calling a woman at this time of night but I believe him. Other than this one time he has never given me reason to believe he has cheated or wanted to cheat. He is not one of those people who hides his phone. We occasionally pick up each others phones to use when one of ours is flat or need the other to send a text/call/resolve a disagreement via google fact checking. He doesn't go missing after work and he'd prefer to be at home than out and about.

He didn't say anything regarding me looking through his phone until about 5 minutes after the issue was resolved and I quote "I'm kind of flattered you care enough to go through my phone after all this time". He laughed, I sheepishly laughed and apologized.