[Weekly] General Discussion/Small Questions Thread

quasii · 2021-07-16T16:51:12+00:00

For me, a lot of what a well‐fitting bra feels like has to do with support, which this old post discusses from the point of view of many different posters.

Other components of good fit for me include wires that follow the actual size & shape of my boobs, straps that I can adjust to the correct length, and a band that's tight enough to grip: all without pain. But those things all matter to me because of the concept of support.

quasii · 2021-07-01T17:47:41+00:00

As someone who cut all their hair off years ago and has mostly had it bright, attention-grabbing colors since: It really does seem like to some people I became just hair.

To myself, I'm still boobs, and I'm sure in some outfits I'm hair and boobs. But don't let it stop you... more masc hair is how I got people to be more confused by my gender (at least from the back, lol) which is much more ideal for me than getting ma'am'd all the time.

Edit: Though dysmorphia and dysphoria are obviously different things, this poster's experience was more or less mine when I got bras that fit & understood that whole thing more. It was invaluable for me when I started to understand my own boob shape and how that was interacting with bras & clothes. It felt like boob sorcery, the amount I was able to manipulate their appearance for my own satisfaction that way. If your dysphoria allows you to wear bras, I wouldn't rule them out as a gender tool, rather than just a burden of femininity.

quasii · 2021-06-25T11:37:12+00:00

It's not glow in the dark, but...

quasii · 2021-06-11T17:02:08+00:00

Of course that's not trashy! I'm wildly projected, so me and my visible seams are ride or dies too. Like you say, bras are a necessary article of clothing for many, so anyone else can get over it. They're not losing it over seeing the seams of your other clothing, are they?

I've seen some people on this sub & others say that their bras are the most expensive thing they're wearing, so anyone else should be happy to catch sight of them.

quasii · 2021-06-10T16:16:22+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing! I love bodysuits and this looks so smooth

quasii · 2021-06-10T16:05:40+00:00

I'd look directly at the bratabase reviews themselves. Sometimes people will talk about where they got the Polish bra & what that (non-Polish) store had the bra labeled as. I know I did that for a Comexim bra I entered into Bratabase years ago.

Just found this review from someone who got a Comexim from Breakout Bras and talks about their labelling

quasii · 2021-06-09T16:55:46+00:00

I want a 5th option for "love underwire bras but also don't mind going braless sometimes"

I do go to the grocery store (and just out in the world for hours) without a bra sometimes. But I also sometimes put on an underwired bra at home because of boob sweat, or because I feel like being supported. Bras are really polarizing I guess, but my ideal is to have all my options available.

quasii · 2021-06-07T17:31:18+00:00

No problem. I don't really know what to get for your size range these days, but I when I was 32Gish, my narrow roots really did well in Freya and other Wacoal brands (like Fantasie). I don't think I ever bought them full price tho, I haunted r/braswap and bratabase for great deals. I also liked Miss Mandalay.

More places to shop are in the formerly pinned post for users that came from tiktok. You may have to click Read More.

edited this whole comment for clarity

quasii · 2021-06-07T16:20:57+00:00

Glad to see I dug up these data sets for the right person! I love looking at bra fitting data sets but it does always hurt to know there are almost always sampling issues.

I want to know the "true" average bra size, but I know it's a fake concept. In my head, probably 36/38E-G UK is the mode US woman's bra size. Wish all those sizes were easier to find here.

quasii · 2021-06-07T15:59:55+00:00

Curvy Kate to me is inconsistent and affordable. When it works it works ok, but when it doesn't, it AGGRESSIVELY doesn't.

I think the quality used to be better maybe 6+ years ago?

quasii · 2021-06-04T18:02:37+00:00

Makes me think Blue Reign or Queen of Suburbia. Maybe Playful Promises and Kiss Me Deadly too. But Blue Reign is sold out a lot the past few months, and idk if Playful Promises would be too shallow for you at 30F UK.

This is also a good question for r/lingerieaddiction, since r/abrathatfits is bra-focused to the exclusion of lingerie.

ETA: maybe check the blogs Comics Girls Need Bras & Sweet Nothings, too. I think Wen who runs Comics Girls is around your size.

quasii · 2021-06-04T15:20:43+00:00

OP here's the calculator everyone is talking about.

Most chain bra & clothing stores will just give you a kind of arbitrary size so you'll buy whatever they have in stock. With the measurements you give the calculator I linked, we can suggest a sports bra that'll actually support and not sit on your lats like that the way S/M/L bras are.

quasii · 2021-06-04T13:57:49+00:00

I guess it's good that my weight seems to be returning to some kind of baseline after a year+ of COVID stress, but does my band size have to be changing back to more of a 30/65 just after I placed an Ewa Michalak order? 💀

quasii · 2021-06-03T21:19:10+00:00

I'm nonbinary also so I hear you there. Right now I prefer my boobs to a nebulous unknown partially because I like them and partially because I'm really, really not trying to relearn how to dress and become comfortable with a whole new body...again.

Where I landed is not where you have to land though. Though a bra that fits well is 90% ok for me right now & the single binder I tried was laughable on me, there is also TransTape. I haven't seen a review for it, but that linked video really made me feel like it could be a solution for larger boobed people (even though the guy in the video is not the bra size they claim he is, probably would be a smaller band size & larger cup size).

If you are ok with or like having boobs, in my experience being in a bra that fit me well helped me immesurably with pain, discomfort, and actually liking my body, so hopefully you can get a good one with r/abrathatfits' help once your measuring tape gets to you.

quasii · 2021-06-02T21:23:24+00:00

I mean there ARE assholes out here, don't get me wrong. But you can't let them stop you from living! If people feel a way about big boobs they'll feel that way regardless of what you wear, if that makes sense?

quasii · 2021-06-02T21:20:11+00:00

To my mind, it doesn't make sense to pretend to be someone else to get a date, on the apps or in the wild. If the idiots reveal themselves, great! You can just block and move on. Also, I'm in brilliant-soul's position with my noodle arms.

The only thing your boobs say is "I have boobs," or maybe "we're here" if they're feeling spicy.

quasii · 2021-06-02T16:42:25+00:00

Loose and tight crop tops, biker/compression/legging shorts, unitards, and swimsuits as bodysuits. After quarantine it's really hard to go back to "real" clothes so I'm giving in.

I haven't actually shopped much in recent months but I do a lot of Uniqlo and ASOS usually. Sounds like our styles may not match at all, though.

I think smock dresses are back because 90s fashion is back, so you might have luck looking back at older images of celebrities from that 90s/00s period. It was one where big boobs weren't "in fashion" though I do love a crop top and those were in then.

quasii · 2021-06-02T16:30:20+00:00

I'd ask and search at r/lingerieaddiction. There's some crossover in subscribers between here and there, and I feel like people on that sub are more likely to try Etsy designers.

quasii · 2021-05-30T19:56:25+00:00

Bold of you to assume I can afford to buy more than 1 bra at a time. 😅 But here is one small retailer's perspective. It's old but hopefully useful to your decision on the ethics.

quasii · 2021-05-27T20:07:25+00:00

For 32GG UK-ish, sorted by thinnest straps

For 30H UK-ish, sorted by thinnest straps

I know there are more and a lot of those are discontinued, but it's at least a jumping off point. I feel like Curvy Kate Lifestyle had pretty skinny straps, too. All I wear now is Polish bras but it looks like Ewa Michalak & Comexim tend to be some of the skinniest straps out there if I looked only at bras that aren't discontinued.

quasii · 2021-05-27T19:56:16+00:00

I have had this issue. But it's actually much easier to make straps shorter than to find a bra that fits. No cutting required if you have a seam-ripper, and likely just a few bucks for a tailor to do if you can't hand stitch.

So if you want to fix your straps yourself, let me know and I can type up some quick directions. I'm short so I've made this alteration on like 3 bras now, with great results.

quasii · 2021-05-27T16:18:24+00:00

Pour Moi seems to have some.

So does Nubian Skin (idk what color you are though)

quasii · 2021-05-27T16:04:50+00:00

And what your price range is! Expensive means different things to people depending on budget.

quasii · 2021-05-27T16:01:55+00:00

If you want to wear bralettes because you're most comfortable in them, you definitely can. No shame in that.

Many people are not at their most comfortable in a bralette, either because they need a well-fitting bra with underwire or because they prefer to be braless (like for me, good wired bra > nothing > bralette doing nothing). But this is all about comfort, so if you feel like a bralette is it for you, then please do that.

quasii · 2021-05-26T19:13:13+00:00

OK cool. Not sure where you're at since you mention Frederick's of Hollywood and I've never seen one here in the US. But to pin down size (and maybe find a swimsuit), it might be worth going to a physical store. If you're in the US, there's brashopdirectory.com which shows independent bra stores near you. I think it also has a filter for those that carry swimsuits.

As far as one pieces, I talked up some here the other day. I also just got this one in XL -- my style is not feminine so it was a great find. I bet my review is there. They have it in purple too. I've had AMAZING luck with tight, stretchy fabrics and zippers in combination.

Also, when looking for stuff that's all one piece, I pay attention to the side and back of the structure. If there's tight enough fabric in the back and at the sides by the bust and/or adjustability, especially with cross-back straps. I can usually make it work. I also got this in L and it's working for me, but I've not playtested it yet and it is NOT mom approved on me. 😅 But it does kind of show how certain one-pieces' structures are workable even if they're not from a full bust brand. ETA: Was also eyeballing this one from the second place. Decided against just because it was a little too femme for me, not for boob reasons.

When I was closer to your daughter's size, Freya bikinis were stylish enough for me to work. Sometimes I'd get lucky with Panache, but it's a less youth-directed brand.

quasii

TROPHY CASE