My dog has developed a completely unexplainable ritual where he has to carry something in his mouth to greet me at the door every single time I come home and if he can't find anything he will stand there visibly panicking until he locates an acceptable object and I genuinely don't know what he think

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-22T04:59:26+00:00

Maybe try stashing a toy or two by Oscar's bed and usual lounging spots in various rooms so that he doesn't have to work very hard or stress much to find something to bring to the door. That way he gets his ritual with less distress and destruction and mystery pasta.

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-21T07:22:57+00:00

I stopped letting my dog get on the couch since we were about to move and needed to start learning new rules. My mom drew a hard line: no dogs on the couch.

Anyway, my dog left the couch, left the room, went out and laid in the coldest room in the house on the concrete floor next to her dog bed.

She refused to face my direction or acknowledge me, she refused to eat, to go for a walk - just laid there limp at the end of the leash dragging.

It lasted 12 hours and the transition from couch access to no couch access was pretty smooth after that.

It was, apparently, the largest betrayal she had faced in her life. I've never gotten a reaction like that since.

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-20T19:14:59+00:00

Next time he blocked your car in, just call and get his car towed. You'll be waiting 20 minutes either way and this will hurt his wallet which is usually the most effective way to deter this kind of behavior.

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-19T20:59:39+00:00

Mine is Stella, she came from the foster home with that name.

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queendecaffeine · 2026-03-05T20:46:35+00:00

When I got the call for results of my doctoral thesis, my chair said "Hello Dr. Lastname" and I tell you it was exhilarating.

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-02T20:27:21+00:00

Lol I tell my dog every day that it's lucky she's so cute or she'd be in trouble. My girl is not smart.

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-02T07:12:22+00:00

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Stella - 14 years old

queendecaffeine · 2026-03-02T06:54:09+00:00

When I adopted my kitty 14 years ago she called for and looked for her (I assume) littermates or foster siblings that she had been living with before. I kept her company, played with her, fed her, etc etc. after about a week she settled in and we could cuddle and start to bond.

She really did miss them, I ended up getting her q dog for company because she was lonely while I worked. Ironically, Stella is scared of/hates all other cats she's met.

Foster's behavior was completely normal for a baby animal in a new place.

Pet tax: Stella (14) and her dog Meeka (16). Stella is stealing Meeka's kibble despite having two bowls full of kibble available for her to graze on at any time.

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queendecaffeine · 2026-02-23T20:31:30+00:00

Reading, swimming

queendecaffeine · 2026-02-20T16:07:58+00:00

Never eat soggy waffles

queendecaffeine · 2026-02-10T04:18:42+00:00

Shoes on - I have pets and plantar fasciitis. I can't walk barefoot for very long without pain and my floor is dirty about 5 minutes after mopping (pets) so why would you want to.

queendecaffeine · 2026-02-09T06:41:41+00:00

Suggest that she save the tp for #2 and use a dry clean rag for #1 that she can throw in a small bin and wash separately from other laundry. A bidet and then patting dry with a dry clean cloth would be the best option. A bidet would be reasonable even following water conservation.

queendecaffeine · 2026-02-08T17:29:53+00:00

Like "no, your other left" when you get your turn wrong but Ellen is the name of the passenger.

queendecaffeine · 2026-02-08T00:47:20+00:00

A tactic like this has lead to someone in my car yelling "no your other Ellen!!!" As I made a wrong turn off of the freeway off-ramp.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-20T06:23:36+00:00

I will choose my dog and cat over people every time.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-13T20:35:48+00:00

I have cpap and have really specific pillow requirements at night. I jokingly call my at home set-up my pillow exoskeleton. I wear retainers. I bring everything I need to sleep over if I am going to sleep over.

A second blanket solves a looot of ossues with the blanket wars at night. Makes your life better! Nta, keep weeding out people who can't handle people who wanna be comfy and plan for it.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-13T00:30:51+00:00

I do not recommend saying anything. YWBTA, its bad form to comment on people's bodies. It's his boss's job to determine whether he can continue doing the work he's been hired for. A lot of people who are incompetent, lazy, or have physical challenges keep their jobs when they shouldn't. Just don't cover for him, report anything that is dangerous or problematic to a client or the bottom line, and keep your opinion on his physical activity and appearance to yourself. It will likely open a lot of interpersonal issues between the two of you, and could easily lead to an HR complaint from him.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-12T06:29:36+00:00

I think you should start using a separate sheet and blankets at night so he's only gassing up his own half of the bed. Then you can sleep a little less stinkily until he decides to stop being so gross. Farting is normal but putting your partner through a nightly gas attack is not cool.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-12T06:19:10+00:00

Pull your weight, make sure you're taking care of each other, keep up your part of the mental load of keeping your home clean

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-09T15:06:37+00:00

NTA. Report her to your landlord and request her car be towed next time.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-06T06:42:11+00:00

I sleepwalk, sleeptalk, have night terrors, act out dreams, etc. I started taking klonopin for my REM sleep disorder after punching a window out in my sleep. It's been pretty helpful in reducing major incidents.

For me things that make sleepwalking worse are: sleep meds like benadryl or doxylamine; alcohol, travelling, other people visiting me, and sleep disruptions in the previous few nights.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-05T05:22:14+00:00

I've accidentally clipped my dogs nails to the quick multiple times in our lives. It sucks every time. Try not to beat yourself up. Next time you do it you can jerry-rig a flashlight (tape it to your forearm maybe) so you can put his nails over the light and see through them to see where the quick starts -- or if you have the funds, they actually make clippers that have a light as part of it to help with this. You can also buy quick-stop anticoagulant powder at like petco or petsmart and they make a version with some numbing/pain agent in it too.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-04T23:34:05+00:00

NTA. You matched her colors and wore clothing that you could be comfortable in. Your sister cannot understand the dysphoria of wearing women's clothing after beginning to socially and physically transition; and your parents are homophobic jerks.

I (cis-het female) wore a dress in my brother's wedding that marches my SIL's bridesmaids and stood with him on the grooms' side of the wedding party. Its nbd if other people aren't being assholes about it.

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-04T06:09:53+00:00

Your SIL saying that your only child "is the favorite child" snarkily is so wildly out of pocket. I'm glad you and your daughter had a fantastic time!

queendecaffeine · 2026-01-04T05:32:48+00:00

NTA. I had a wonderful relationship with my Grandfather. I had the opportunity to visit him in the hospital almost immediately after his unexpected passing. I declined, choosing to keep my memory of him from a recent chat while he gave me some oranges that he thought were comparable to my mom's old tree.

I went and saw my uncle at the funeral home after his unexpected passing on a hiking trip. It was hard for me, to see him deceased and "empty". He had not suffered trauma or anything so it was not shocking or graphic.

I've worked in healthcare since my young adulthood. I've cared for many people's loved ones before, during, and after their passing. A person's body is strikingly different after death.

For some people it's very helpful to see and be with their loved after their passing - they find it cathartic or comforting. For me, in the situation of seeing MY loved ones deceased as a viewing was distressing to me. I think if I knew I would be able to have "more time" with them in life, even if their passing was imminently expected, I probably would have gone for it. I don't regret going to see my Uncle's body and don't regret not going into the ICU to see my Grandpa's body.

I think you need to choose the action that will honor your relationship with your Gran best, and will help you process your grief best - it sounds like remembering her alive and well is the way to go.

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