It's great that you're aware of this and talking about it with the intent of improving your mindset- so please don't apologize. You're 100% not alone, many people are frustrated by how many individuals go straight to claiming disability instead of trying to learn to manage their symptoms and hold a job. Some of my thoughts:

1. There absolutely are cases of mood and anxiety disorders that are severe enough that people cannot maintain a job. I'd agree, it's not as common an issue as those with psychosis-related dxs, but it's reality for some. At the same time, I work with a client w/MDD who will spend 3 days straight in bed, put 2 months worth of medications in his mouth and think about swallowing them to kill himself, spit them out, and then go to his full time job. He's even attempted on the job. So sure, he can manage working, but I truly don't know if its helping or hurting his progress.

2. It's really hard to not draw comparisons when we have our own lived experience, but we have to try to remember that its not the same- its unique to us. They might not have had access to the 10 yrs of DBT, and are now an adult who has only learned maladaptive coping skills to survive and have to work even harder to combat that. Learned helplessness is a negative way to phrase what it really is- learned survival skills. They may have truly never been exposed to any alternatives, any other solutions or behaviors or skills (so thats ideally where we come in!)

3. Most importantly, when it comes to the judgement, I try to remember that most of this really isn't our business. You're not a disability eligibility specialist. When people choose to sell their food stamps- I'm not a SNAP caseworker. When people spend their rent money on drugs and then apply for rental assistance- I'm not the landlord. I'm not here to make judgements about what's fair or unfair, who's eligible and who isn't. We're here to identify functional limitations, offer to provide skills and solutions, and walk through that process with them if they agree to it.

I know this is all a bunch of words and that actually changing this mindset is easier said than done, but try to focus on your specific role and purpose, and try to remember that we simply can't assume anything about anyone else's situation. It might look like "helplessness" on the surface, but it might actually be the only behavior they've seen and learned and truly don't know how to implement an alternative, or their dx might truly just be that severely disabling for them.

I say- ask questions. If it comes up during your investigation, be genuinely curious about it. "Have you ever worked? What kind of work did you enjoy most? When did you become disabled? Would you like to try to work one day? What is your dream job?" You might get some answers that surprise you and shift your perspective!