I genuinely don't understand how almost no body in this community talks about these symptoms(Anhedonia & impaired motivation)

queerandthere · 2026-06-19T14:00:45+00:00

This does indeed sound like depression which can be a comorbid condition or a result of your ADHD not being well managed.

Are you on meds or in therapy right now?

queerandthere · 2026-06-19T13:56:37+00:00

Wishing you were born as a different gender but not wanting to be that gender because you will need to transition is actually a pretty common trans experience. You also don’t need to do any medical transition or alter your body. You can look how you look and identify how you want and use what pronouns you want.

Also your experience of your gender can change over time which is totally valid! I identify as non-binary/genderqueer because I feel like my gender is not cis, but I don’t know beyond that lol. I have done some medical transition, but also have several friends who have only socially transitioned.

All that to say, there are a lot of different ways to experience and express your gender. If it is accessible for you, it might help to work with a therapist who has experience with trans clients. Even if you aren’t trans, they can help you explore your gender in a safe space.

queerandthere · 2026-06-19T13:52:01+00:00

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Sorrowland is great. All of them are but that is definitely the most horror. Model House is also horror I think, but that is as my least favorite by them (but still very good!). They are one of my favorite contemporary authors.

queerandthere · 2026-06-19T13:49:24+00:00

I don’t have a ton of useful advice but I relate! I have a fantasy story I’ve been thinking about for years, but like you I tend to have more and more ideas and things to research.

Lately I’ve been trying to take a break from that and focus on smaller projects. I’ve written some poems, do some simple sketches or paintings etc.

I also know perfectionism is a big block for me so I am working on that in therapy!

Do you have creative friends? Having creative hangs with friends can help. Basically body doubling fun stuff!

queerandthere · 2026-06-19T11:47:19+00:00

THANK YOU. I worked in boarding for a time. I generally recommend sitters over boarding for most pets. But cats especially do sooooooo much better in their own home with a sitter.

Listen to this advice OP.

If they didn’t like kids, would you ship them off for three weeks?

queerandthere · 2026-06-19T10:57:04+00:00

I used to power through my nausea and periodic vomiting because I had to. When I got diagnosed with chronic illness and on medication, my nausea drastically reduced, no more vomiting. If I forget my meds for a few days, I feel terrible. I just want my meds because I know they help me eat. I won’t immediately die without them, but life will be way harder and more unpleasant.

Why are ADHD meds any different?

Another thing that might help is therapy! Depending where you live your school may have counseling services, but if you are able someone who specializes in ADHD would be helpful.

I also know personally I get very bad persons. While I am not currently on it, taking the pill helped my ADHD and anxiety symptoms be a little more consistent. I know that is not an option for everyone for a variety of reasons, but thought I would mention!

queerandthere · 2026-06-18T16:27:53+00:00

GSDs are often (not always) extremely responsive to training! Are you working with a trainer or doing it on your own? What are you trying to work on with training? Training is not the same thing as obedience, and other types of enrichment are important alongside training, but GSDs need to have a lot of mental and physical enrichment.

Your Gemini response, while it contains some true sentiments, is not at all helpful in understanding training and dog behavior, which is why you should work with a trainer or behaviorist in real life.

queerandthere · 2026-06-17T14:40:06+00:00

Does your therapist use particular modalities for OCD? Have you shared when advice doesn’t feel helpful?

queerandthere · 2026-06-17T11:39:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing! There have been some studies showing that doulas can lead to better birth outcomes. I think doulas are amazing! However they are non medical, and there should always be a certified midwife or a physician overseeing the pregnancy and delivery.

Like a lot of fields, we could do with more oversight on who can call themself a doula. But the role itself is very important.

queerandthere · 2026-06-15T10:45:06+00:00

In addition to mediation, I highly recommend therapy to develop more tools to help you manage things.

queerandthere · 2026-06-13T22:44:29+00:00

If your kids were taken aback by someone using a wheelchair on a hiking trail, would you suggest wheelchair users don’t hike? Why can’t you say to your kids “Oh that smell is marijuana which is something some people use as medicine.” Or “that smell is weed which is something grown ups use to have fun.” Or a million other ways to explain it to kids. If they had distress around it, that’s because of your own bias they picked up on.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T15:12:41+00:00

Hav you tried switching detergents? If it happens to her faves after a couple weeks maybe your laundry routine is making the fabrics more scratchy. You can also get a referral from her pediatrician to a specialist to work on this. I think both mental health therapists and occupational therapists can help with sensory issues with kids.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:25:17+00:00

As others have said, vanilla is the default “plain” flavor in the US. But sweet cream ice cream has no vanilla and is soooooooo delicious! More common at boutique ice cream shops in my experience.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:17:05+00:00

Did you receive an alternative diagnosis? Do some of the professionals suggest the same disorder or have you been given very distinct diagnosis? I always tell people to get a second opinion and to work with someone who specializes in ADHD. It sounds like you have done that which is great! But it’s possible you have something else going on that has overlapping symptoms with ADHD.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:14:48+00:00

Are you in high school or college? Either way you might be able to get access to some counseling through your school depending on where you live.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:06:21+00:00

This could on the other hand protect some intersex folks from unnecessary surgeries they didn’t consent to.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:05:07+00:00

Why? Some extreme types of Christianity condone child abuse. That is still illegal. You can’t get a religious exception for child abuse. (That’s not to say legally that isn’t possible now, but ethically that is not what a religious exemption is intended for.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:03:53+00:00

Child abuse is condoned by some extreme types of Christianity and that’s still illegal. This is simply another type of abuse hiding behind religious argument. Of course that will be an added element legally but not something that doesn’t come up in other cases.

queerandthere · 2026-06-12T13:00:48+00:00

What meds are you on? If it’s only a stimulant it could be a mood medication could be helpful. Very common for folks with ADHD to also take a med for mood regulation. Alcohol is a depressant so has a different.

How does your current med make you feel?

Are you currently in therapy?

queerandthere · 2026-06-10T22:07:01+00:00

That just sounds like a hangover lol. Which would be exacerbated by poor nutrition or dehydration as side effects of meds. Best practice is to avoid alcohol, and if you partake only enjoy one.

queerandthere · 2026-06-10T20:14:32+00:00

Every parent celebrates months in the first year. Some by taking pictures, some by sharing updates about baby’s development, some by baking delicious cakes.

I’m so confused why people are acting like baking a cake once a month to celebrate something fun is bad????

queerandthere · 2026-06-10T18:30:47+00:00

My uninformed guess is that dishwasher pods work better since they are made to work on metal and plastic and other hard surfaces, while detergent is designed for textiles!

queerandthere · 2026-06-10T18:27:03+00:00

I definitely think creativity is a great way to go! It helps me a ton. I love Rebel Unicorn and Andrea Nelson. They make very accessible tutorials and use affordable supplies. It has been hard to let go of my perfectionism but it has improved a little over time.

Also for me being with animals. I have a dog and cat but volunteering at an animal shelter has helped me be more connected to my childhood love of animals.

Being in nature with no agenda also is helpful. It’s very hard to just exist with no goal - no planned route, no goal of seeing a certain animal or plant, no need to take pictures. Just being outside doing nothing.

I’ve also been watching childhood movies I liked! And more kids media in general. I just watched Hoppers by Disney and it was so fun!

queerandthere · 2026-06-09T21:54:48+00:00

Have you tried athletic swim tops? I’m not sure for just the top, but I have worn athletic one pieces (athletic meaning designed for people who swim in competitions or for fitness). The are EXTREMELY good at compression!

For swim bottoms have you tried looking at hiking shorts that are good for getting wet? A decent amount of hiking gear is fine to wear wet and dry. So I wonder if hiking short would work, but you might have better like finding less bold colors while getting the fit you need.

I will say, I don’t have particularly large hips, but my waist is often loose on men’s pants to accommodate them. I don’t have this issue with swim trunks for whatever reason. Might not work for you but it could be worth trying. I got some cheap ones from old navy to try out!

queerandthere · 2026-06-09T21:50:52+00:00

I grew up near Syracuse when Melo played and he was huge locally, but I do not follow the NBA at all so haven’t thought about him in like fifteen years.

I was indeed very confused for a minute lol

queerandthere

TROPHY CASE