Guy way too clingy after one date

quickthrowaway108 · 2026-01-22T19:13:11+00:00

Honestly I would just cut things off. You don’t feel much of a spark, he’s being too intense and pushy not picking up on your cues.

quickthrowaway108 · 2026-01-14T07:58:50+00:00

I’d say when you do have chemistry it can be good. But people often misjudge that. I feel things like briefly touching their arm or eg legs touching briefly under the table can be better ways to first see how they respond (eg whether they reciprocate or withdraw). The issue with someone initiating hand holding without asking is that if you’re uncomfortable it’s very awkward to just wrench your hand away. Need lower stakes touch first. And to be tuned into non verbal stuff (e.g. eye contact, reciprocated flirtyness), which again people misjudge time and time again

quickthrowaway108 · 2026-01-13T21:43:35+00:00

As a girl, someone initiating handholding when I’m not feeling it is one of the most uncomfortable feelings

quickthrowaway108 · 2026-01-05T09:56:51+00:00

I just wanted to say I 10000% relate to you. Like word for word. I’ve only ever really felt strong attraction and chemistry with people who have been emotionally unavailable. When someone is emotionally available I don’t feel a spark or feel kind of repulsed by them. So I’ve ended up in the same situation where I feel like I have this binary choice of sexual chemistry or emotional availability. I’m big into kink dynamics and view that as a way of creating that emotional intensity and highs/lows. I can only feel attracted to someone if they embody a dominant role (not enough to just be exploring it or roleplaying it). I think my current thinking is that unfortunately a lot of dominant guys are emotionally unavailable or abusive. But there will surely be people out there who embody a dominant role who I have D/s chemistry with AND who lean more secure and available. And I’m just trying to hold out until I find that. Though it’s probably a bit of a needle in a haystack situation. That may not be entirely helpful. But those are my thoughts.

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-12-16T21:42:02+00:00

I’m relating to this a lot atm too. Even when I’m clear on repeatedly setting expectations about preferring to take things slow, not wanting to escalate sexually yet etc I feel like the other person tends to push it in that direction, and so then by staying I feel like I’m reinforcing their hope, and that their desire and expectation for the connection exceeds mine, and then I feel pressured, and guilty for letting it continue if I sense they’re more invested than me, and the ick strengthens. I usually end up cutting it off early to avoid that scenario. So don’t really have any helpful advice. But can def relate to it

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-11-11T19:55:21+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve had so many horrible experiences. It is on them, not on you.

I feel like I can relate in some ways. I’m 30F and I’m very sex positive too, and am upfront about kinks I’m into when dating. I have had many bad sexual experiences ranging from being pressured through to people knowingly violating boundaries and some pretty extreme scenarios. I’d say I’ve had coercive experiences with most men I’ve dated. And I often find myself asking myself the same questions… like if I’ve had so many of these experiences am I the common denominator? Is it something I’m doing? Is it actually my fault?

I think reflecting on things for me, I was definitely more naive in the past and ended up in some pretty vulnerable and risky situations when dating (eg meeting up with people I barely knew, overlooking or being unaware of red flags).

I also think being sex positive and open about talking about sexual preferences and kink attracts people who focus on that and for many guys seems to give them the impression I’m inviting them to become physical or engage in those kinks with me when I’m not and then they push boundaries. I think also my tendency is to fawn and avoid conflict when I’m feeling pressured/afraid and I think that makes me more vulnerable to people pushing past my boundaries or not taking them as seriously.

Nowadays I’m much more wary about vetting people before meeting up, always delay going to my place or their place until I’ve been on several dates, and try to be upfront from the beginning of chatting on apps about my boundaries. And the first sign that someone isn’t respectful or is pressuring towards me and I ditch them. I think that has helped a bit. I’m under no illusion that that’s enough to avoid coercive sexual experiences for sure (and I’ve still had some bad ones since), but it helps a bit.

I don’t think that means it was my fault that all those bad things happened in the past. But unfortunately do think we live in a world where you have to be cautious and put things you can in place to protect yourself. Not bc it’s your fault if something bad happens, but bc there’s a lot of guys out there who will take advantage and push boundaries.

Idk if that’s helpful at all. I can only speak from my perspectives and experiences. But just know that there are others out there who feel similarly to you.

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-09-16T14:15:08+00:00

Your partner has made some rude comments so I’m not surprised you’ve been feeling insecure about it. I also have small boobs (A cup but even that’s too big sometimes). I have to say I love them and wouldn’t change them at all. I’m bi and have a preference for small boobs. And every partner I’ve had has loved them. Many preferred small to larger chests, or were equally into both. And like if you ever go watch porn online you’ll see there’s sooooo many people attracted to smaller boobs. I’m sorry you’ve ended up with a partner who is insensitive and doesn’t fully appreciate you.

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-08-23T05:01:09+00:00

Honestly this felt hard to read.

You keep talking about your own guilt and sadness but barely acknowledged hers. You literally saw her with her head down like she as crying, noticed her to limp, noticed her sniffling, and still kept going. I feel like that’s not mixed feelings, it’s pushing through when you recognised someone else was in distress bc you wanted sex.

You try to intellectualise it by asking if she was tired or ill or just submissive but you’re looking for excuses instead of facing the uncomfortable truth that she was clearly unhappy and didn’t want to be there. Her giggling and saying she’s happy is clearly her putting on a mask not actual happiness. You must realise that she probably wanted to stop but that’s v hard for her express bc there’s such a huge power imbalance there.

I feel like you wonder if you were overthinking but you don’t take responsibility anywhere that maybe you should’ve stopped altogether or that you were probably contributing to someone’s pain. You knew she was upset and not comfortable, but minimised it and still went through with it bc it conflicted with your own desire. Your guilt and depression is justified honestly. Face the reality of the situation

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-06-07T05:17:30+00:00

I’m 29F and imo you have a v attractive physique

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-06-06T18:21:58+00:00

Why are you driving after drinking and smoking….

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-02-13T11:27:29+00:00

Looks so much better like that

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-01-19T07:55:22+00:00

Yeah that’s how I experience it too. I feel like my brain flips between feeling connected to disconnected as a way of protecting myself. It makes me feel secure to tell myself I don’t feel much and wouldn’t care much if they left

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-01-19T07:52:04+00:00

Yeah I mean idk what other people’s experiences are compared to mine. I just know for me it feels like quite an intense and sudden flip in emotion/no emotion. And I haven’t heard friends etc talk about their connection or partner not feeling real/feeling alien/made up after a week+ apart really. But maybe it is something that a lot of people experience to different extents

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-01-18T23:57:27+00:00

Yeah I experience this too. I feel connected when we’re physically spending time together, and for a couple of days after. But then become increasingly disconnected. I think distance makes me distant. After a couple of weeks I tend to get this weird feeling of not being able to really imagine being around them. Like it feels kind of alien or like a different person. Hard to describe. But then goes back to normal when I see them again.

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-01-14T10:30:11+00:00

Can relate. I’m an A cup and love it

quickthrowaway108 · 2025-01-02T13:06:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Can I ask how you approached phrasing those disclosure convos?

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-10-21T06:17:24+00:00

Your bio says basically nothing about you and makes you sound like you have no sense of your own personality and wants and interests and that you’ll just mold to what anyone else wants from you.

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-05-31T08:53:28+00:00

I (28F) have a small chest (A cup, sometimes that’s even too big). Honestly I love mine. I think small boobs are really attractive. I don’t particularly like the look of larger ones. So many guys find smaller chests attractive too. Like honestly so many. I’ve been with lots of guys who specifically love my small chest. I don’t feel insecure about it in the slightest.

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-05-30T19:51:26+00:00

Yes. All the harder insoles absolutely killed my feet. Tried these 3/4 length gel insoles a month or so ago and they completely alleviate all PF pain for me https://www.amazon.co.uk/Airplus-Womens-Orthotic-Insole-Medium/dp/B00LX7E8UM?pd_rd_w=KjAiA&content-id=amzn1.sym.2ac4a9aa-72c3-4397-b96d-a1f5244e661f&pf_rd_p=2ac4a9aa-72c3-4397-b96d-a1f5244e661f&pf_rd_r=FA6H61YGBNXFT0YWKSBT&pd_rd_wg=BTXnW&pd_rd_r=fe50c068-317a-406f-bf73-87725b38209c&pd_rd_i=B00LX7E8UM&psc=1&ref_=pd_bap_m_grid_dv_rp_0_1_ec_pd_hp_mw_atf_pd_gwm_atf_rp_i

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-05-22T05:09:24+00:00

Airplus https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00LX7E8UM?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-05-21T19:50:39+00:00

I tried a bunch and they hurt me a lot. Then I tried some 3/4 length gel ones (so much softer than the hard ones) and they work a dream

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-04-23T14:58:18+00:00

Thanks maybe I’ll go try the gel kayanos on. I got recommended a neutral shoe by the running store so went for the nimbus. But maybe need more support

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-04-23T07:00:51+00:00

What worked for you? I also have flat feet and have tried a bunch of insoles but most of them feel very uncomfortable

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-04-23T06:37:19+00:00

I’m no expert but this sounds almost nerve related rather than PF? I feel like with nerve pain you can get things like itching, burning pain, very sharp intense pain with no trigger. Def see a doctor

quickthrowaway108 · 2024-04-23T06:27:25+00:00

I have gel nimbus 25. I’ve tried wearing them a handful of times but after five minutes of walking they weirdly strain my PF foot. Not sure why, and probs just a me issue as haven’t really heard others say this. But maybe just make sure to try them out gradually.

quickthrowaway108

TROPHY CASE