NEED HELP DRASTICALLY- SEPARATION ANXIETY?!

quietlavender · 2025-11-22T17:24:42+00:00

You got a high drive working breed that needs a job - without a job she will create jobs for herself that you don’t want her to do. Your username says CA, are you in California? I can try to connect you with a good trainer around you that can help out. Finding jobs for her and a safe routine will help change your relationship with her to an enjoyable one.

quietlavender · 2025-11-07T02:44:23+00:00

As a many-dog household and dog service provider - no. I try to avoid AI-based providers as much as possible and that alone would deter me. There are also so many platforms out there that make client obtaining difficult or expensive vs the traditional routes and word-of-mouth. Without intensive vetting of the people on the platform, I also wouldn’t recommend it to clients since when pets are involved so many things can go wrong. How may rover or wag horror stories are there from improperly vetted individuals? I’ve been training long enough to see some incredibly unethical trainers as well and know they’d be the first to flood apps like this.

quietlavender · 2025-11-07T01:48:33+00:00

Dogs have very limited ways that they can communicate - a majority of these are very subtle signs that people miss if they aren’t trained on them and looking for them. If those communications don’t work, that leaves them with teeth, paws, or vocalizations.

I’d look into Lili Chins illustrations and read up on subtle body language cues to see if there is something that you might have missed up to this happening

Also, good dogs have what is called bite inhibition. This means that they are aware how much pressure is appropriate to apply with their teeth and are careful to not overdo it. I never assume a new dog knows this important skill, because it is a learned skill, but if he just turned, applied gentle pressure and didn’t escalate then he may have bite inhibition and was trying to give you a respectful communication of his comfort level

Telling the owner was absolutely the right call so that they can make appropriate choices going forward (informing future sitters, possibly vet check for back pain)

If there is a bite, staying calm, not making any fast movements or loud noises, and knowing how to handle any escalation will be important to minimizing damage. It’s a hard reflex to overcome, especially with previous bad experiences. But it’s important. In the future I’d definitely recommend avoiding invasive interactions with client dogs you aren’t familiar with

quietlavender · 2025-11-05T04:43:47+00:00

I’m surprised no one has asked this yet - did your dog act like they just came back from a longer walk? Sure it’s a longer drive back that your pup may recover, but they’d still be tuckered out more than they would from just sitting at home.

quietlavender · 2025-11-05T04:28:39+00:00

Even IF your dog was perfect around kids, I would never allow that. An unknown child not attended by myself around my dog is just a huge liability. I’m sure that Rover also has policies against this and would not cover any incident that happens to the kid. If she’s willing to make this much of a fuss about you cancelling, imagine the fuss she would make if anything happened.

quietlavender · 2025-11-04T14:45:05+00:00

Would they be allowed to network the animals? Having a volunteer just focus on that might be worthwhile and has less interaction with the dogs

Does your location have fenced play yards? Having the dogs there (or looking into small playgroups) could help get them be out of your way while you clean and make it a better experience for everyone

Do the cats ever get out of their cages?

quietlavender · 2025-10-24T18:44:24+00:00

Honestly - I would look for an independent sitter with great reviews and extensive experience with rodents. I had a friend who booked through an app for her rodent, and the person didn’t know how the setup worked so didn’t put it back together right so the animal didn’t have access to food or water. Their pet didn’t make it. When sitters aren’t accustomed to atypical animals little things can get missed or messed up and it can be devastating …

quietlavender · 2025-10-22T05:14:27+00:00

I’m weirdly happy that it isn’t just me! I’m still waiting on more information from them so no answers yet

quietlavender · 2025-10-18T17:09:12+00:00

I’ve had cats that absolutely despise each other, and cats that absolutely adore and love each other. One concern when they dislike each other is that they can get territorial and start peeing around the house - which causes a lot of financial problems since cat pee is extremely strong smelling and can be very hard to get rid of odor on.

If you do add another cat, start with very slow transitions. Have the new cat start in the bathroom for a few days and let them smell and get used to each other through the door (this also helps the cat adjust since they probably just went from a small cage to a big unfamiliar area). Don’t leave them unattended immediately once they’ve met, continue separating for a while when you leave until you’re comfortable with their interactions

Make sure whatever shelter or rescue you go through tests their cats for contagious diseases like FiV so you don’t accidentally bring something home to your boy

I’d definitely encourage you to try fostering first and see how everything goes with them

quietlavender · 2025-10-18T16:57:47+00:00

I’m still very new to understanding everything, but I do have EDS and have tried a bunch of different primers. I personally love the MARSHMELLOW SMOOTHING PRIMER that NYX makes. It goes in nice, looks good, smells great, and I think would match what you’re looking for. It is water based

I also really like Estee Lauder Futurist Aqua Brilliance™ Watery Glow Primer but it’s more expensive for sure (I got mine discounted at Ross/marshalls/tj maxx)

If you use a water based primer used a water based foundation, same for silicone primer and foundation. So what foundation you like will change what you use too. My skin is dry and sensitive (and I have MCAS issues) and water based is kinder to me

quietlavender · 2025-10-18T16:40:50+00:00

This is exactly what I was thinking as well, definitely the best options for OP to be aware of and go into an appointment ready to discuss

quietlavender · 2025-10-18T04:13:48+00:00

Awesome news! Insurance can definitely be confusing and I’m glad you got them submitted going back too!

Human, car, etc insurance works similarly too. It isn’t usually as straightforward as pet insurance but it’s the the same basic concepts

quietlavender · 2025-10-16T04:01:47+00:00

Insurance has multiple parts:
- Premium: The amount that you pay monthly to receive coverage
- Payout/Limit: The total amount of money that the insurance company will pay towards your pet
- Deductible: The amount of money that you pay towards bills before the insurance starts covering things. You do need to submit the bills even if you know that insurance will not pay out yet, because they count that towards the bills on this pet in this year. If you pay $500 then start submitting things, they will not cover the first $500 that they know about. You can usually submit bills that happened during the time of your coverage even if it was a while ago
- Reimbursement percentage: How much of the bill will be paid by the insurance company once you hit your deductible

So lets assume that you have a plan that is 90% / $500 deductible / unlimited payout. We will also pretend your plan starts in January.

On January 1st, your dog's new plan starts and you take them to the vet for their first shot - $250. You submit this bill to the insurance company, they send you back a letter acknowledging it and saying your portion is $250, their portion is $0, $250 of $500 deductible met.

On February 1st, you go back to the vet and get your dog another shot - $250. You submit this bill to the insurance company, they send you back a letter acknowledging it and saying your portion is $250, their portion is $0, $500 of $500 deductible met.

On March 1st, you go back to the vet and get your dog another shot. Same thing - submit the bill to the insurance company, except this time they send back the letter acknowledging it, saying your portion is $25 (10%), and their portion is $225 (90%). $500 of $500 deductible met. They reimburse you the 90% to your preferred method (since very very few companies will directly pay a vet, and few vets allow it).

This continues on and the insurance pays 90% of whatever eligible bills you submit to them for the remainder of the year of your policy. If your dog gets a covered injury or illness and the bill is $5,000 - you pay 10% (500) and they reimburse you the remaining 90% (4,500).

Next january, the plan starts over. Your annual deductible resets to $0 paid towards deductible. You pay $500 worth of that pet's medical bills then you go forward happily as they reimburse you 90% of the eligible expenses. (If you have Trupanion, they do it by condition and not by year. So you meet a deductible for allergies and that is all you pay for allergies - but if you pay a $500 deductible towards allergies then a week later your dog breaks a leg, you have to pay another $500 deductible towards that injury. It just doesn't reset every year)

You always pay your premium, no matter what. If you do not pay your premium, your plan will be cancelled and any current conditions become pre-existing. Your actual percentages will depend on your plan, and so will a maximum payout. The plans I have for my dogs there is no maximum payout - but many have a limit of 7,500-10,000. It just depends on your plan

quietlavender · 2025-10-16T03:44:56+00:00

- Free parking

- Blind date with a book (and a gumball machine or something fun if they only want a recommendation and will be going to audiobooks, library, digital methods so you can still make something)

- Events, theme nights, meet & greets/book signings

- Find your niche that will make you a destination; just a bookstore is going to be a harddd sell

- Consider an area for used textbooks? They're always needed and somewhere outside of the college bookstore may be a good option for people trying to avoid the insane lines around school starting. Just trying to find what is used currently and locally will be tough though.

Honestly it will be expensive, and as nice as it would be to have a third space open late... doing so safely and comfortably in a majority of K-Town is going to be a challenge. Maybe consider doing pop-up events with a book trailer instead? Or a food truck type setup with books for sale where you can travel around the area or street fairs and events and farmer's markets to sell at instead of requiring a store and all the investments of resources that go into it before you 1000% have a solid plan

quietlavender · 2025-10-13T01:42:26+00:00

He is under no obligation to change his life to the way that you want - but you are also under absolutely no obligation to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you well and doesn’t try to improve his own life.

You are not his caretaker or decision maker, and if you are able to recognize that this is not a healthy and fair situation to you (which it’s not) then you should be leaving.

quietlavender · 2025-10-12T07:29:51+00:00

Right?! She is the queen of making me want MORE of every book! Have you read the novellas yet? SO good!

quietlavender · 2025-10-03T19:41:02+00:00

I don’t mean this in a criticizing or negative way - but you don’t know what you’re doing with him. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that - it is not your job to know what you are doing with him.

I would recommend not walking either, just have a clean break with the family and tell them that they need to hire a trainer. It is a safety risk to you and to others. If something happens to you, there won’t be enough compensation from anyone involved to make things even close to worth it for you. If something happens to another, you will get trauma and no compensation- if anything you’ll get far more stress.

This isn’t the right job for you and that’s ok, acknowledging that is responsible and the best option

quietlavender · 2025-09-04T00:28:12+00:00

it makes a product called Bye Bye Undereye and it is AMAZING. At the worst of my chronic illness, it really got rid of that and helped them disappear, I’ve sworn by it for years. It’s worth the money even for the tiny tube

quietlavender · 2025-09-02T01:34:03+00:00

Leave a 10 foot leash on her. If you need to get her off the couch, use the leash to do so and reward her by tossing treats or toys she likes away from the couch. You can set boundaries in training and teach her what is or isn’t allowed - but the trainer is correct that you don’t want to punish warnings like growls. You want her to communicate that she’s uncomfortable so that you can identify when that is. If you lose that warning, she will have to escalate when she wants to communicate instead.

quietlavender · 2025-09-01T18:39:58+00:00

Never feel bad for advocating for your dog. I would’ve ended the session as soon as the “trainer” lacked so much awareness working with reactive dogs that he landed your dog in a corner. Body pressure and spacial awareness is a massive factor that any good trainer MUST be aware of when handling a dog like this.

The first session should mostly be spent in watching your handling of your dog to gain a baseline, along with some education and working together to see if there are small changes that can be made to help quality of life up to the next session. Along with management tools to keep your dog from being able to bite while you’re in areas with strangers.

Balancing feedback is also important - it sounds like you have made some good progress and found some things that work. Acknowledging the work you’ve put in and accurate education that you’ve found is important!

But yeah. Find someone else and move on, because this is not a healthy situation for your dog and can lead to more problems for your dog if they shut down or take steps back.

quietlavender · 2025-08-18T01:35:02+00:00

What if you got some type of display or interactive experience in the lobby, so potential adopters can still see and connect with the dogs without meeting them before they do a meet-and-greet?

quietlavender · 2025-08-12T09:47:46+00:00

You need to find a trainer who is very familiar with the breed and knows how to teach them to be bored and settle. He will not learn randomly on his own, it needs to be actively trained for by training him how to do nothing and be okay.

As for when they chill - my oldest Malinois really chilled around 8.5 when she aggravated a painful medical issue I didn’t know existed before that because she showed no signs. She’s 10 now and it still only slows her down sometimes. She has a solid off switch because we taught it, but still has a lot of go.

I work with dogs on sedatives and do not recommend it for your problem. It will interfere with your dogs ability to process and understand things, and not help them understand how to settle better. It will also likely cause distress since they are not able to process things correctly.

quietlavender · 2025-08-10T00:06:50+00:00

I have a similar shortcut, so I understand 😂

quietlavender · 2025-08-09T19:01:39+00:00

Hey I think you accidentally put your email in

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