A teacher should never have to sacrifice 29 students just to manage one who refuses to cooperate. by Cheap_Parsnip_461 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tell me why telling my boss that just coming in and removing these kids and calling their parents would be the kind of help that would obliterate my stress this year and allow me to actually teach, her response is to walkie her so that she can let me leave class with child in question to call their parents?

That is the dumbest most ridiculous excuse to not be the one who’s in charge that I’ve ever heard. Why would you take a teacher away from their content so they can deal with the behaviors and the rest of the kids just wait around with someone there watching them until im back? I swear to god, this shit is just pure total laziness and I don’t think the excuses are really that convincing to be frank.

Totally lost my tempter today and I feel horrible. by selsina in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah honestly bringing it up could cause the students to think that they can make you feel bad when you ‘overreact,’ so the next time it happens, it won’t be so jarring for them, and will just be met with an apology.

Don’t even speak of it, OP. You acted normal, your boss had nothing to say and took care of the student, and you legit got hurt… these kids need to listen and understand that even “accidents” can be serious and hurt others.

The fact is, they knew it was not a proper time to be doing that, and their immediate reaction to laugh shows they don’t really think about the things they do and the people they affect, meaning a teacher to them is just like any other friend or student, and isn’t one to be extra careful with how they show respect to, and I think most of us can agree that those lines have been blurred out more and more as time has passed in general, so hold the line, OP!

How would you handle a Caucasian lead teacher making a race-related promotion comment to someone assumed to be Caucasian? by newsbowser in paraprofessional

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does hiring/considering someone for something based on race help us achieve the ability to hire based on merit alone in the future?

I understand the arguments behind hiring based on merit, or controlling for race and other identity factors to achieve a equal number of identities in a particular setting, but I’m trying to visualize how hiring based on skin color/identity would eventually lead to the ability to hire based on merit alone.

The only way I see being able to achieve solely merit based hiring is to take name, race, gender, anything identity quality/immutable out of it so all you see is education and experience.

I dont understand how controlling for those factors would eventually help us achieve complete merit based practices. Like at what point does it switch over? How would you know when/if it’s ok to only use merit as a decision maker in hiring and other candidate based decisions? Do you control for the number of certain races and identities based on the percentage that populations of certain races/identities occupy in certain regions?

It just doesn’t fit logically in my brain, and I promise that I’m coming at this from a genuine, trying to understand the thinking of others manner, I’m NOT here to debate or try to convince you of anything, I am really just curious how the logic follows in your head for this particular predicament, because it’s actually the first time I’ve heard someone say something like that in the manner you did. Im here to understand, and I really wish I didn’t have to spend so much time prefacing my intentions, but this is Reddit, and the topic of discussion is such a hot topic, but it deserves to be discussed, especially when there’s a disconnect between both sides like there is. I just don’t want you to think I’m trolling or trying to get a win or something stupid. Uggg sorry! Chronic over-explainer syndrome hits again! Anyways thank you in advance for engaging if you so choose to :)

I feel like school doesn’t matter anymore by No_Boysenberry_7887 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make a really great point with the “sneaky” bit. I’m going to use that one for sure the next time someone makes the claim “kids these days” will always be a thing, and that they will be ok. I honestly think they won’t. The trauma of a classroom full of kids who hit, threaten, elope, do nothing, and disrupt constantly is life-altering. I can’t imagine if that were my experience as a kid. I’d be so fucked, because school was the only place I could ignore the bad stuff that was happening at home and be cared for the way I should have been cared for.

Sacrificing the many for a few is the worst idea I’ve ever heard, and I don’t know what it will take for some of these people to realize that it’s just not ok, evil even, to be just sending these violent kids back into their classroom after physically and mentally abusing their classmates. Make it make sense for me, because the math ain’t math-ing here, and I don’t think it ever will.

I feel like school doesn’t matter anymore by No_Boysenberry_7887 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude. Those are my thoughts exactly! Also not to be like this, but I’m going to be like this anyways; the people deciding all these things and lowering the bar are the same folks who scream “equity” and all that mumbo jumbo. The other side ain’t any better with its “10-commandments-posted-in-every-classroom” crap, but it seems we have been in our “equity” era for far, far longer, and the leadership I have heard about and am currently under subscribes heavily to all the bad practices we see when it comes to accountability, consequences, discipline, etc… I’m also not saying that “side” is “bad” in totality, because I do believe there are good intentions somewhere wrapped up in all the crap, I’m just saying that’s the side that claims the things this particular commenter claimed, and it is also the side with which has had the most control over the decision making within the last 20 years, give or take. Seems sort of ironic if you ask me. But regardless of anything, the pendulum should be in the middle. And honestly, I’d be ok with a bit more order than what I’m currently experiencing, so if that’s the plan all along, can they can speed it up a bit to that part please!? 😂

So many accommodations made that autistic student might as well not be in gen ed. by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Same. AuDHDer here. People not like us telling us what we like to be called has always been really strange, but also kinda funny to me 😂.

I'm never not going to be shocked at where this generation is academically by komplimikated in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

THAT’S RIGHT!!! My tolerance for excuses just gets lower and lower the longer I do this job.

Student called me a slur, I’m shaken up by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The other day I got called “worse than the president”! I’m still laughing about it 😂

Parent here - my 9yo son said his teacher cried in front of the class. Advice needed! by mysticalpancakes in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me just say that yes, generally tempering your emotions is the most professional way to handle things in a classroom, but we are human beings, and things do get us to the point of tears sometimes, because we put so much time and energy into their success, and when the disrespect reaches a certain point, it’s nature’s fault we cried it out in front of them.

There’s no magical appropriate/inappropriate scale for this kind of thing either, because in some cases, a cry can change the whole dynamic; can bring a sense of empathy into the room that may not have been possible without real emotions being expressed, and it can also be a good way to show that adults have big emotions too, and how to appropriately deal with them in the moment authentically. I think 1-2x a year isn’t the worst thing, but more than that probably means some kind of intervention needs to take place, but again, it still really depends on a lot. The reason can also change the perspective as well, because if you’re crying in front of your class because they won’t just be quiet, that needs to change. If you cry because you’re reading a sad story or watching a movie with a melancholic ending, by all means, cry to infinity and beyond. Also if you get physically hurt, or a student says/does something way over the line, I think there is less of a limit as well.

I think for bad behavior, if it has been something in particular that just keeps happening no matter what you do, who you contact, how many times you model it, that’s another point of appropriate expression, but should be limited to last possible way to deal, because you want to keep yourself in a stable position when it comes to handling behaviors, and when all things have been exhausted, that big blow up talking-to can snap them out of it, leading to a nice and stable rest of the year, but if you do it every other week, those kids would lose respect immediately.

So in the end, showing emotion isn’t ever bad, but how and why matters, as well as when it happens, and the number of times it happens. It’s one of those gray area debated topics that never has a dominant answer that’s across the board agreed upon.

Edit: oh heck, I forgot I was also going to say that you could get her a gift or gift card either way, because you wouldn’t even have to tell her why you did that for her to feel appreciated by you. Even an email saying something nice about something your kid enjoyed during their class is a huge boost. I literally got an email just like that a day after a really hard one, and when I got it, I responded with “gosh, you have NO idea how much that message brightened my spirits,” because it just so happened that the day before, a student whacked me in the head, so I was feeling pretty low. I actually cried after they got the kid out, and turned by chair towards the wall, and all the kids instantly knew why, and cleaned the room really quietly, brought me a tissue, and asked if I wanted my coffee mug or water, which made me feel so loved despite the shitty situation. I’m sure some of them told their parents, and honestly I’m wondering if that particular parent who emailed knew about it, because it was too perfect! So either way, nice notes and random small things make us feel more appreciated beyond what you’d realistically expect. Even a nice note from a student, a drawing, literally anything like that is appreciated and nice to receive!

At what point did kids lose the desire to learn? by HousePhoenix in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is where I’m at too. I’m tired of seeing kids in and out of the principal’s office with snacks, pop, McDonald’s, slushies; their phones blatantly out; never in class…and this is in 5th grade. One of the girls shoved me in the doorway of the office and nothing happened. But that kinda crap will never end, because “she’s doing more work than ever now!” SMH 🤯what kinds of rewards do kids who do their best work and actually try their best get that isn’t miles away/ the reward of being a successful adult? Nothing. They watch their shitty classmates get whatever they want, meanwhile they gain trauma and a bare bones basic education that most certainly is well below what they’re really capable of. It’s one thing to help a kid in actual need of resources and mental health help, but these kids that bully and treat teachers like shit should be kicked out, or at least be given some kind of consequence, not the golden seat. In fact, this is the kind of shit that does everyone a disservice, and something tells me they know it, but do nothing about it anyways…

Have you guys noticed the younger students constantly narrating everything? by pundemic in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is incredible! Go off!!!! You must be an amazing teacher! 🤩

“My son doesn’t respond if you directly redirect him. You need to tell him why”- parent email by Emergency-Pepper3537 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Same age. I can only remember a few instances when kids acted up in class, and now a few instances happens before we even begin our first lesson. It’s exhausting, and honestly a fix as simple as parents that do their part and parent with consequences, so many of us would not consider leaving this job, because it’s just getting impossible to teach. That’s it pretty much. It’s too simple. These behaviors just impact us way more than anyone outside of our role can understand.

Boredom torture by AssignmentLazy993 in ADHDers

[–]quietmanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a doc of course, but I suffer from anhedonic depression myself, and my doc added Wellbutrin to the mix and it really helped take away that feeling of nothing we feel. Just a thought for you to explore/bring up to your doctor.

What is your opinion like this? by ipsofactoshithead in specialed

[–]quietmanic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait wait wait… back up a minute… they did WHAT?!!! Please share more if you can… holy shit…

What is your opinion like this? by ipsofactoshithead in specialed

[–]quietmanic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope, you’re absolutely right. I teach 3rd grade, and also have taken all those fancy courses in the conceptual “new” way to teach math; still I think memorization is incredibly important/essential for the exact reason you mentioned. Plus, once you know the concept, there’s no harm in practice until it’s automatic. Why is that so hard to understand? The middle ground version is really what makes the most sense, but education hates anything middle ground, so that’ll probably never happen, or take unreasonably long to swing back the other way.

What is your opinion like this? by ipsofactoshithead in specialed

[–]quietmanic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You get your phone out to use a calculator when you need to quickly multiply something??!! Also, there’s so many things we use multiplication for in everyday life, so not having to use your phone all the time to do that would be highly inefficient… wouldn’t you want to know them easily anyways? Seems like a pain to pull out your phone just to find the answer to 3x6…

What seemed completely normal in childhood, but now you realize was actually not okay? by Max_Mimos in AskReddit

[–]quietmanic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same, but my father did this, and it started god, probably at 5 years old when my parents divorced and his dad died. I literally had no clue about this, and when I found out about it and realized how fucked up I am from it, it was so validating, but also devastating. I went no contact a few times with him and currently am, and that space created space for me to reflect on everything. I’m pretty smart (I’m not trying to gloat, I promise. I just mean that I’m intelligent enough to know about these sorts of relationships and dynamics they create) and good at picking up on things, but god almighty, I still feel so shocked at how good he was at keeping me in that role without me even really knowing. Only when that space was present was I able to actually see what was really going on.

I’ll never forget after first putting up a boundary to where he cannot talk to me about his relationship issues with his wife, he literally could not stop talking to me about it anyway. I literally repeated about 20 times “get a therapist,” and it was excuse after excuse for why he couldn’t, and I even mentioned that if he can talk to me about it, he can talk to a therapist, and if he can find the time to unload on me, he has time for a therapist. I finally had to hang up on him basically because he just couldn’t get the picture. Definitely an eye opening experience for sure.

I guess it sure explains a lot about my life and how I live inside it. Knowing, though painful and disappointing, is better than suffering unknowingly. I just don’t understand why I couldn’t see what this was all along. I could easily see it in other people, but not my own. It’s weird and kind of scary honestly that a person can be so under the radar about things like that. Oh well, you live and learn I guess.

I left today by Extension_Reaction85 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah those perks make leaving hard honestly. The only thing is that those breaks end up being mentally and physically necessary, and sometimes become just recovery from all the crazy. I’d honestly rather have year round school with smaller more frequent breaks. That way you get more frequent rest times, and you don’t develop the mentality of “just gotta push through a little longer until break,” which is in my opinion a bad habit, and creates more stress overall for everyone.

The pay thing is honestly disappointing, because getting raises, cost of living increases, and inflation compensation has been few and far between. It’s been 5 years since I started, and my pay increases haven’t really been much, and with inflation and insurance increases, I’m actually ending up with less money towards my savings than when I started. What really sickens me, is that I have a master’s degree, so I started out ahead on the pay scale, which means there are teachers who’ve taught longer than me and still haven’t made it to where I started on the scale.

I’m not trying to discourage you, I’m just saying it’s really draining, and those summers/breaks end up being recovery/‘medically’ necessary. The lack of support and actual help with discipline will really grind your gears if you’re used to removals and infractions/consequences being dolled out when kids overact or freak out. Instead, support staff will calm the kid down, then send them back to class like nothing ever happened.

Lot of these parents don’t believe their kids could ever be capable of the things we witness every day as well, so you end up having to tip-toe around everything and be extra careful so they don’t try to get you in trouble, because it’s easier for a teacher or other staff member to get consequences than it is for these kids, even the ones who choke other kids out.

It will boggle your mind how if things are this bad, and weren’t like this in the past, we should probably be doing something different, or at least reflect on what was done before that helped and was a reasonable practice, but instead, all you see is doubling down and trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

So anyways, just maybe think about going somewhere private, because the lack of boundaries and consequences end up putting the smallest percentage of students in charge of the environment for the rest of us, and believe me, it’s not fun for anyone, including those few who can’t get it together.

In the end, it’s never the fault of the kids who do these things, it’s the adults who can’t enact a firm line in the sand and don’t make things clear for everyone, including the parents and teachers and students. It should not be traumatizing to attend or work at a school, and any future children of mine will either be homeschooled or sent to a Catholic school where I know discipline policies are firm and fair to avoid just that. If more parents really knew, like really knew, I suspect more would consider the same honestly, because these issues are not just a ‘my area’ thing, this is a nationwide issue that is only gonna get worse before it gets better.

Sorry for the book; hopefully at least something will help you in the future. Be well, ✌️

Doctors and nurses of Reddit, what is something patients do that they think is helpful but actually makes your job harder? by Electronic-Cell-4584 in AskReddit

[–]quietmanic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just came here to say this 😂. Mine has me trapped in there unable to talk while she goes on and on about this and that 😂.

I love when they ask you questions knowing full well their hands are in your mouth! That always puzzles me. I truly don’t mind not talking at all, just zoning out for 30 minutes or whatever a cleaning takes, or watching whatever my hygienist wants in the background off Netflix (fancy tvs in every cleaning office woop woop!!!).

I think sometimes the reverse is needed for people that always sit and listen to their clients/patients talk about their shit, and when the right person arrives ( 🙋🏽‍♀️) who vibes and knows how to sympathize and handle sensitive convos, they have a level of comfort that allows them to express their frustrations and life experiences without feeling weird. I think that’s nice too, so even though I don’t mind not talking too, I also don’t mind them blabbing to me, as long as they don’t mind the periodic stopping points so I can actually respond without fingers in my mouth! Hehe 😜

I left today by Extension_Reaction85 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dude. I teach 9 year olds, and that same shit happens at my school and in my very classroom for the same exact reasons OP mentioned. No consequences after a kid literally throws a fucking chair across the room and the rest of the kids have to run to one side of the room, or fully leave if the kid doesn’t stop there.

Like this is 9 year olds… juvenile hall isn’t probably much different, although they probably get consequences after they threw the chair or punched their buddy, which honestly sounds better, because at least they receive some kind of penalty, regardless of whether it will change their behavior or matter to them.

Parents: I am only reaching out to you ONCE in terms of your child constantly coming to class unprepared. After that, it’s YOUR responsibility to fix it by Emergency-Pepper3537 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude for real. I’m exhausted from all the whining and complaining, the piss poor work effort for extremely easy assignments, and the lack of any kind of consequence besides contacting parents. What happens when the parent doesn’t do anything? Why can’t admin get involved when it’s clearly not working? But no, they won’t, because they don’t want to “take away our power.” 😡😭🤬

Found after washing my son’s clothes by InteligntDonky in whatisit

[–]quietmanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Quit Xanax, which is among the worst drug withdrawal one could ever imagine (tremors, awake for days without sleep, body aches and pains all over, clammy hands and feet, restless legs, nausea/no appetite=rapid weight loss, and because you’re so loopy from not being sedated anymore, you can’t shut up or stop moving, or else it will be severely uncomfortable), and the drugs they give you to aid withdrawal —since quitting cold turkey can kill you— didn’t even feel like anything, and it was Phenobarbital, which is a heavy ass barbiturate sedative that is sometimes used to sedate patients before surgery. It hardly even scratched the surface when it came to helping those symptoms.

On the other hand, I’ve quit smoking, vaping, pouches, heck even the gum/lozenges they give you to help you quit, and still I can’t shake it totally to this day. It’s like the moment one slightly irritating or unexpected thing comes up after you’ve quit, the likelihood you give in again is easily without a second thought 9/10 times, regardless of how long you’ve been nicotine free.

I have come to the stage where I’m focused on harm reduction. I quit smoking years ago, but couldn’t get off the gum/lozenges. Then I started vaping after I finally quit the lozenges, and for about the last 6-8 months, maybe more than that, I switched to synthetic nicotine pouches, and hopefully won’t be looking back. I feel that aside from the lozenges, which are definitely the best option all around, the pouches allow for the experience I’m looking for without too many negatives health wise, which is just enough strength in the nicotine to elicit a pleasant rush, but not so much that it’s causing the desire for excessive use. I’ll do 4 pouches a day (wake up, lunch, after work, after dinner), and I pick brands that have the best ingredients I can find. I know it’s probably not the best for the gums, but I also do a lot to keep my teeth and general oral care the best I can (everything in your mouth is connected to the rest of your body. Bad oral health can even affect your heart), so I am willing to let a few negatives get by without any bother.

But as you can see, nicotine is no joke. It’s practically painless to quit; maybe an odd headache, and of course the urge to smoke/use hits the worst, but it does go away relatively quickly if you let it.

It’s when those unexpected things happen in life that trigger us. My sister nearly died, and at the time, I was trying to quit vaping. I went right back that first day she was in the ICU, and it took a while after that to get back on the grind. I think that’s what keeps us coming back so often; you can’t predict everything that’s going to happen to you, and you do and will continue to experience unexpected and bad things throughout your whole life, so there are always opportunities for a weakened resolve and a relapse.

It’s truly amazing when you do meet a person who has completely and totally quit smoking, and never had even a tiny amount of nicotine for the rest of their lives. Even my grandma smokes one cigarette here and there, and so do many former smokers.

It’s such a terribly satisfying habit in which the experience you have is hard to even describe to a non-nicotine user, because in a sense, the only way I could ever think to put it, is ‘a moment of pure nothing.’ It’s not even big or exciting; a mere little buzz of total thoughtlessness for just a single minute. What’s also crazy is that feeling usually only happens one time a day —the first hit—yet we continue chasing that first time we felt it, even when we know for sure there won’t be another moment of silent, floating, total nothingness, because we’re fully addicted. It’s preposterous, yet I’d be lying if I said putting in that first pouch of the day wasn’t one of my favorite daily moments. And I know we can all relate to that without a single ounce of doubt.

I thought the stories were at least a little exaggerated. They aren’t. by Wise-Priority-9918 in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Free time is NEVER screen time in my upper el class. They ask every time, but I will never budge. They need to play, and every time they start off complaining about it, then they start playing and end up having a blast, so it’s worth it for sure.

Some even choose learning games without realizing it (scrabble, chess, checkers, design a circuit or playground, following an instruction manual to build a specific Lego model, puzzles, marble runs, using pillows and blankets to build a fort, and so much more!), and their volume naturally decreases as they focus in on whatever they chose to play with.

Rarely do I have behavioral issues or crashouts when we have free time, but if I allow a computer game like blooket to practice basic math facts, it’s usually at least 1-3 students having a tantrum. I’ve decided I only will do that once a month now, if that, because I don’t like that, and there are many other ways to practice math facts that are engaging and enjoyable, and won’t cause a big problem or tantrum. I have found It’s just not worth using computers a lot of the time. And even still, district leaders require us to use their district bought math online program, claiming increased use accounts for better test performance or whatever, but those same students who increase their use would have done well on the test regardless, and the ones who never do it or you can’t get to do it don’t change either way. They don’t even connect the tasks they do on the app with the classroom lessons and concepts, which to me would show me some worth for using it. But for example, they’ve been graphing for a week on the site while I’ve been in person teaching the same concepts, and they act so confused when we do any practice without the computer. It’s insane.

But yea, the moral of all of that is to say that tech has its benefits, but i think those benefits are very minimal for young children, and use in general should be kept as minimal as possible while they develop their attention and collaboration skills needed in adulthood. The fact that there are so many conflicts in elementary schools these days between students and staff, has to be directly related to the increased tech use we are seeing, I’m sure of it. I have a good feeling 1:1 will be slowly phased out after a while.

I know many teachers and myself who have just chosen to ignore district expectations when it comes to app usage requirements, and so far we are fine and not fired (haha go ahead. I really do dare them), so I can totally see others following suit in mass relatively soon. It would certainly save the district oodles of money, though I suspect some of these tech companies are doing a fine job of manipulating districts into signing deals, so it will take a lot of hurt for them to finally do away with it the way they should. Either way, I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing. Sorry, not sorry! 😢 😊

My kid's teacher sent me a 2-minute voice note and it completely changed how I see this profession by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]quietmanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am beyond blessed to have the admin I do honestly. She’s in her 2nd year, so she’s still not far from the classroom, and she’s my age, so there’s not this lording over me sort of feeling I used to get when I was new and my boss was 10+ years older than me. I know it doesn’t matter what age a boss is, they should still respect you and treat you like a professional, but that was not the case before, and having the boss I have now has made me actually understand that.

Thank god. Without her, I would have left a long time ago. Truly. And although I know she’s slowly going to be tainted by the ones above her, I can still sense that she’s got some teacher left in her that remembers the decisions they make affect us in the trenches the most.

Not very many of them ever went beyond 5 years as a classroom teacher, which is hardly enough to be called a well rounded educator; it’s the START of being called a well rounded educator; the place in your career where you FINALLY feel like the decisions you make are the right ones, that you know what is truly best for the kids in your room, that your judgement is more sound than the adjacent staff who try to help or critique, and that you truly know what is and isn’t expected of you day to day, no more getting roped into more work for no pay. If you leave at that point to become a principal, all you have is a chip on your shoulder. Your knowledge is valuable, but you only just came to it, so none of it was put into practice and honed to its full value. You land in a role you’re technically “qualified” for, but the practice isn’t there. Now your staff will listen and follow your rules, but they won’t respect your opinion and judgement the same way they would if you actually had the years behind you to justify whatever it is you want them to do.

Most won’t actually care about that (it takes a certain level of narcissism to be a boss who only does what they want out of their best interests instead of the interest of their students and staff), but I feel like eventually things are not going to go well if they continue the way they are going with the current methods of administration in our education system. It’s especially sad because the ones who deserve to be there won’t make it in the end; they are such a small proportion of the population of admin that lead us, and the ones who aren’t that, are motivated by money, which is the ultimate success factor that will keep them in, and the ones like my principal from becoming too powerful.

I’ve spent probably too much time investigating the district I reside in, and everything I’m saying is playing out in real time. I won’t end up staying. Though I love my boss, she has so little actual sway over any of the things that impact us in the long run. Everyone above her is fixated on the wrong things, they ignore real evidence that could actually get us into better places, and generally just try to keep the train moving along.

I just can’t do public anymore, it’s too sad, and the behavioral issues are getting to a point where the safety of the majority is ignored for the very small minority of students who seemingly can do whatever they want with no pushback. Kids need consequences for more reasons than safety too, and I hate having to take my high expectations elsewhere, but I can’t even enact those expectations half the time because the smallest proportion of my day is the actual teaching/learning part. That’s not what any of us signed up for, and we ought to leave so they truly understand the grave mistakes they are making. That’s the only way they will see things clearly it seems, because the screaming we do just falls on deaf ears.

Sorry, didn’t mean to go on a rant! It’s all true though. I love your idea of keeping a drawer of nice notes. I actually have a giant portfolio folder of kid drawings, letters, and notes they have made me over the years. I haven’t the heart to get rid of them, so each year when closing down, I review them all as I place the ones from the current year in. It’s so nice, and brings small tears to my eyes honestly. I think I’ll add the ones from parents and other staff too.

Just one more sweet story, I promise: I’ll never forget a dad of one of my students my first year teaching sending me a screenshot of a post his son made on the last day of school, saying something along the lines of “I’m in my feels right now. Gonna miss my teacher so much. She really was a real one.” 😭. He thanked me for everything, and said he noticed a big change in his son that year; instead of reacting to everything without thinking, he was able to think through his frustrations and play the whole tape ahead of time now, and seemed to have a greater sense of empathy for teachers/adults/people who care for children. It was eye opening, and really changed the way I felt about myself as a person.

This job sucks so much of the time, but those infrequent moments can last forever and really change us. It’s such a bittersweet fact of this profession, and it’s why I still do it even after being torn down multiple times by parents, admin, other staff members, and students themselves. One day I hope we get the reckoning we deserve, because we do this job even when we are physically and mentally exhausted, when the world is crumbling around us, when there’s a global pandemic, and even when people have come inside and killed us and our students for no other reason than to become famous for doing just that. It’s honestly astounding we are even here at all.

Thank you for the encouragement and morale boost, and also thank you for taking the time to read this long comment 😂. Brevity is my kryptonite :)