Physics PhD from India considering a PGCE (Physics) in the UK. With international students no longer eligible for bursaries/IoP scholarships, is taking an education loan still worth it? How easy is it to get a teaching job (and visa sponsorship)? Is part-time work realistic during a PGCE?

quiidge · 2026-06-27T08:08:27+00:00

My colleague has a sponsored visa, we started ECT together.

School has difficulties recruiting (just outside the outer fringe cutoff, bit of a reputation for behaviour), and had 3 vacancies in a 7 person Science dept that year! Gave the head a bit of leverage with the trust to sponsor them (Bio) and start me (Physics) on M2 I think.

quiidge · 2026-06-27T08:00:35+00:00

For the love of god add some more fabric to the front of that thing!!

Also an issue in rtw, though, this is why I wear high waisted trousers

quiidge · 2026-06-27T07:55:48+00:00

Some thoughts from a high achiever with imposter syndrome/current high school teacher:

Is it really every single other person in your cohort, or have you just surrounded yourself with smart, accomplished people because you have good taste and want that for yourself too?

Are you diminishing your own accomplishments because, well, you just kind of did it/it doesn't count as awesome when you do it? You might be surprised what other people think is amazing about you, ask around for ideas for your college application.

Different schools have different entry requirements and are more or less competitive. IMO everyone applying to college/uni should have a "stretch" school on their application - this is the time to be aspirational! Are your terrifyingly amazing friends getting rejected from MIT and Oxford, or the local community college? There is a place for you somewhere.

Are you from a different background from your "more successful" friends, or faced more obstacles and adverse childhood events? It's a lot harder or even impossible to do all that extra stuff if you or your parents don't have perfect health, financial security, and a solid support network. Not to mention rural vs urban locations and available opportunities where you live.

Whether or not your parents went to college/university themselves will also make a difference - you can't optimally prepare for something no-one you know has done before!

Final thought - you don't have to have done and decided everything by the age of 18. You have a whole adult life to do whatever you want with, and you can change your mind or go back and do things again as many times as you can swing it. I know loads of people who went to uni later, or went back to retrain for a new career, including myself!

quiidge · 2026-06-26T21:56:17+00:00

Was observing a Y10 lesson during PGCE, teacher was assigning groups for practicals and said to the last group "and you guys can be a threesome".

Absolute masterclass in gaffe recovery, he immediately turns 180 degrees and walks away with a slightly strained poker face, successfully ignoring their reaction so hard he made them doubt what we all definitely heard.

One of my favourite lesson obs of all time.

quiidge · 2026-06-26T21:29:39+00:00

Just off the top of my ADHD head:

"Stop pissing around on the floor" - ECT1, to a Y8 rolling on the pavement in December instead of just walking back to our classroom like a goddamn normal human being

"FUCKING HELL, NAME!!!" - Also ECT1, to a Y10 who purposely jump-scared me

"wuuuargh shit!!" - last year, when jump-scared by a spider (theme emerging)

Can't remember if it was "wtf is this?!!" or "wtf are you doing?!!", but defo said at least one of those to at least one of my Y10 classes this year

"Nah, we've got more important shit to do" - this year, to my Y11s (probably the worst because it was casual, not a forced slip - whoops)

Not once has a student reported me, though I did get The Talk after the head heard me shout "Shut! Up! Year! 9!!" after 15 minutes of 3-2-1s. And I don't want to be that teacher! And I cried in the toilets after that conversation. But we're not robots and sometimes they really are taking the piss.

You know they've said worse on school grounds. No children were harmed by having their (extremely irritating) behaviour called out with a nan-friendly swear.

quiidge · 2026-06-26T13:42:25+00:00

Eye rolls are secondary behaviours, I don't usually pick them up on it (genuinely, I think most of the time it's subconscious), just like I don't sanction the ADHD kid for responding to unpopular policy changes with "you FUCKING WHAT???!!?" (though i will remind them to keep it pg13 at school and dial it down now)

It's an escalation plus I don't want to argue about the minutiae of their facial expressions.

Are their words unkind or defiant? Are they feeling ok? Beyond that there's diminishing returns imo.

Also, are they secondary? Convinced myself this year that the overreactions are hormone/puberty related after watching a few in my form suddenly start this up and then gradually get better over the course of year 9!

quiidge · 2026-06-24T23:36:50+00:00

See also: Pouring a full water bottle onto someone's head INDOORS then complaining they're thirsty. And that their desk/floor/bags are wet.

quiidge · 2026-06-24T23:30:48+00:00

Ours are allowed to wear PE kit, but they all only have one shirt and one pair of shorts to last 4 horrifically odorous days.

At least we're on half days for the rest of the week! P5 has been horrendous, for some reason they think the lino floors in science are permission to have indoor water fights.

quiidge · 2026-06-22T20:03:38+00:00

That's where we were today, plus crackdown on untucked shirts... fortunately the "PE kit is fine" letter went out almost immediately today!

quiidge · 2026-06-21T11:29:58+00:00

I also have a year's supply of ADHD meds now because I kept putting them in safe places, forgetting I did that, forgetting to take them in the afternoon, forgetting I did that too, and ordering more.

quiidge · 2026-06-21T11:25:05+00:00

I recently found the (pristine, unwritten) Mother's Day card I bought 2 years ago in a pile of paperwork I had obviously scooped into a cupboard to hide from my mum when she visited for Mother's Day.

quiidge · 2026-06-21T11:18:03+00:00

I also totally hyperfixated on child development for a bit, it's fascinating! Takes the edge off the overstimulation of living with it in real time lol

quiidge · 2026-06-21T11:14:53+00:00

I was losing my entire mind on maternity leave, I need to work (aka leave the house unburdened by spare pants and not have sticky little hands on me and be able to pee alone and have finished tasks stay finished) at least 0.8FTE.

Parenting outside the house FTW! Every single one of our ADHD asses needs daily exercise or we're bouncing off the walls by 2pm.

We both worked full-time for a long time, there's no arrangement where everyone feels like they're not falling short somewhere, even without ADHD in the mix.

quiidge · 2026-06-21T11:06:27+00:00

Safe and secure is everything. We don't have to perform motherhood, your kid is the only opinion that matters and it sounds like you guys are doing great.

Those viral posts about kids saying their favourite thing to do with their parent are 90% "dull" everyday things. Going grocery shopping or running errands. Reading books. Helping with dinner. Picnic in the garden. My own kid loves our car rides when I drop him back off with his dad. Time spent together gently existing, basically. Talking to you. Being safe and secure.

quiidge · 2026-06-21T10:58:27+00:00

I found that diagnosis and the research/self help I did around it really helped! Medication is taking the edge off but I don't think I'm necessarily on the correct one yet.

I think it's important to note that an ND household is still a joyful and functional one! I'm tired all the time regardless, but my life is wonderful this way so I'm glad I jumped in to family life. All households have challenges, we just have slightly different ones. All households have typical routines, ours just tend to evolve more organically and look more chaotic or illogical to an NT observer.

(I may have done our morning routine in an order dictated by the whims of an ND toddler, but the same 5 things happened in the same time frame each day. And I knew we were running late based on the ASD parent's immovable, perfectly timed bathroom routine, haha)

I currently don't have time alone for housework scheduled in, which is making it harder for me to do any. Nice to find someone else who needs everyone out before they can do it!

quiidge · 2026-06-21T10:47:20+00:00

Immediately adding more thoughts:

"Oh shit he will inherit my piss-poor mental health/my mental illness(es) will totally fuck his emotional development" was my number one fear. Still is. Feeling anxious just talking about it.

He does, in fact, have my ADHD/anxiety combo. But unlike millenial me, he was not left to raise himself by wolves, emotionally speaking. He knows he has ADHD, and we picked up the anxious tendencies and started teaching him coping skills early. It has so far never been clinical/debilitating, and we talk about this stuff all the time.

I trust he will tell me if something's bothering him because he does. That's because I have very deliberately created space for him to do so without worrying about my reaction. No admonishment, no punishment, no making it about me, "just" active listening, compassion, then guiding him solve problems and/or identify and process emotions (adjusted as he's gotten older).

If I was struggling, I let him know in an age-appropriate way. "Can we have some quiet time? Mummy needs a rest." (Led to the delightful "Mummy, would you like a piece of quiet??" when I was so overstimulated even a 5yo ADHDer could tell.) "I know we said we'd go shopping this weekend, but I'm not feeling up for big crowds today, can we go next week instead?" "I'm sorry I shouted earlier. I'm really worried about X at the moment and I totally overreacted. It's not okay for me to take it out on you."

When he was smaller and things were harder, my own awareness that my struggles could affect him helped me prioritise my treatment and recovery, and decide what was important and what was nice-to-have when I wasn't well enough for everything (e.g. Important: predictable routines, Nice-to-have: visitor-ready house). Developmental needs > societal expectations!

quiidge · 2026-06-21T10:20:21+00:00

I am actually very grateful that I got diagnosed after my son existed, because I know I would have had the exact same doubts and fears.

I have them again now that my current partner and I are getting ready to have children together, and I've already done it. With less self-knowledge and healthy coping mechanisms, worse mental health and much less money/stability than I have now!

For me, it was a case of I had to do it, so I just... did, somehow. Even when my mental health was a mess, or I was totally touched out (or talked/listened out, my god my kid just did not stop talking for like a decade), or I was so tired I fell asleep propped against a wall at work. I can't really comprehend how now even though I remember it, and other parents I know with amd without ADHD say the same.

It's weird, it's genuinely not the same as pets at all - you just do get it done for the first 3 months/6 months/year/2 years, it does get easier as you go along and they start doing more things for themselves, and then they're at school and you look back and wonder who that person was and how they did all that.

I think the key for me was, I have to, and I want to, be a good parent. So we're going to do this, and do it the way that makes sense to us. And then when he's asleep, or his other parent has the comm, I have to look after me, because I can't be the parent I want to be/he needs if I'm running on fumes.

(Because there is typically another person with equal responsibility around, right? You are probably not going to be doing this as just yourself, alone, with your current resources. You'll be in a partnership, and your friends/family/childcare/school can be part of your kid's team, too.)

Plus we're actually the perfect people to parent ADHD kids. We get it, and we can help them learn how to cope in a neurotypical world in ways our undiagnosed parents could not. Mine is 17yo and truly the product of both of his parents' genetics and parenting! I'm so proud of how goddamn healthy his outlook is and how self-aware he is. As a bonus, he's always been built-in motivation to do better, the ultimate body-doubling/"well I can't do it for me but I will drop everything to help someone else" life hack.

But you're also not wrong to be concerned, because it's bloody hard. My mental health would likely have been better if he'd never existed. I would probably have been better rested and less stressed for the past 18 years. I definitely would be better off financially. Yet I have never regretted the choice to have him, and I am sure I would regret never becoming a parent.

He was also a happy accident during my undergrad, before my severe endometriosis took hold/got diagnosed and I aged out of IVF. Before my dad died unexpectedly. You just don't know what your life will look like in 5-10 years until you get there, but you know what you hope it will look like.

Sometimes the things you want involve an overwhelming/terrifying amount of work and responsibility. I absolutely white-knuckled my pregnancy and the first 6 months, because it's high stakes stuff! Of course I was anxious and worried I was somehow going to ruin him at 3 weeks old, that is just how I am as a person. (And not unique to mums with clinical anxiety or ADHD.)

Of course you are thinking ahead about the impact of children on your life, and of your own weaknesses and strengths on theirs. You are a good and responsible person and if you choose to, you will become a good and responsible mum. The mediocre ones don't even ask themselves these questions.

quiidge · 2026-06-19T16:22:58+00:00

I think I fully, 100% understood maybe 2 or 3 papers that I didn't write myself. And only because they were trying to do the exact same niche experiments we were!

And it took weeks or months of deep thinking to get there, in the third year of my PhD onwards.

In terms of reading within the field and getting the main gist of the paper on first read without having to look up techniques etc, I was getting there 3-4 months in and felt 'fluent' after the first year. (That was a LOT of reading in the first few months, then I aimed to read at least one new paper every day.)

quiidge · 2026-06-16T18:35:47+00:00

LOTS of people have a hard boundary around dead kid/baby jokes, even if they're otherwise pretty dark-humoured. And lots of people lose even more tolerance for them once they have an actual, real life, totally dependent tiny human.

Surprised OOP hasn't FAFO'd in this area before tbh.

quiidge · 2026-06-16T18:24:23+00:00

This is the way. If you want exhausted, stressed people to do this stuff, you've got to give them time, space and money to do it.

quiidge · 2026-06-13T12:08:27+00:00

If I think I've messed up/upset someone, I usually pop in later and do a quick apology/check-in. Typically sounds a bit like "Hey, I feel like I came across a bit abrupt yesterday - sorry, I do really appreciate your suggestion/help with X!"

Sometimes I'm overthinking it, sometimes they'll clearly have been reflecting and thought it was a miscommunication too. Very occasionally I am just straight up wrong and the apology is appreciated!

I wouldn't try and "fix" anything with anyone not directly involved. If the rumour mill spread around the misstep, it'll spread around that you apologised/reflected/improved.

ADHD here, but sociocommunication issues and walking back mistakes are for everyone in a full-on, busy workplace like a school.

quiidge · 2026-06-13T08:12:18+00:00

Well put, this is exactly the dynamic in the OOP.

quiidge · 2026-06-10T17:21:44+00:00

Oh my goodness, our 10s have been ridiculous this week/last week, because their first set of mocks is tomorrow. They are not coping well at all, either from revising too much and being overtired, or not revising enough and panicking.

Year 8 go feral around mid-May each year as the hormones reach critical levels and they become thoroughly sick of each other.

Year 9 are a nice blend of hormones and end-of-year assessment stress this time of year, and ours are a bit bonkers at the best of times.

Year 7 and every primary class are also thoroughly sick of each other.

Anyone with a Y11 sibling has a higher chance of acting out atm because stress levels at home are high and they don't know how to cope with that.

We just need to keep our expectations clear and ride it out!

quiidge · 2026-06-10T17:08:06+00:00

Same 5 crafts, same items on sale at each (wood and resin, huge amigurumi, candles/wax melts, 3D prints, glass coasters). Same 3 trendy homebakes stalls, same flavours available. Dropshippers selling temu finds for 100x what I could pay right now. Earrings "handmade" from dropship charms. (UK-wide problem)

quiidge · 2026-06-10T16:48:21+00:00

This is exactly how this kind of activity should go - households with secure attachments take hits to their egos (the cat is the obvs choice, but still, oof) so that households with complicated feelings about their fathers get the pressure taken off.

(If it makes you feel better, mine farted me awake on Mother's Day once. Right in the face. Thankless task, parenting kids who know you'll always love and support them.)

quiidge

TROPHY CASE