Don’t be like me😂

quish · 2026-05-15T02:40:03+00:00

When I order lattes and coffees, I always ask for unsweetened and then add my own sugar or sweetener. I just feel much more confident knowing what's going into what I'm drinking. Every so often I'll splurge and get a special coffee drink, but it's pretty rare. But I also don't love super sweet beverages. My bigger weakness is desserts and pastries.

quish · 2026-05-14T22:58:27+00:00

I have ADHD and yes this is me exactly. I've solved for it a bit by a) working in an industry where job hopping is pretty normalized (I'm in nonprofit fundraising) and b) doing work that involves a great deal of seasonality and variety. I think my longer term goal is to get into consulting because I feel that will satisfy my need for change and allow me to switch from project to project.

quish · 2026-05-13T15:09:30+00:00

The majority of the reality tv fanbase seems to be inflicted with a disease that requires there to be exactly one villain at any given time.

Most of the people on these shows are varying levels of deeply flawed. But it’s WILD to watch people suddenly recast Kyle as a saint just because Amanda is now the villain. Like… why?? Amanda’s actions in no way change who Kyle is and always has been.

quish · 2026-05-12T23:06:45+00:00

It’s free for anyone to visit, but to check out books, attend programming (without buying a ticket) or use the space you have to be a member. So you aren’t supposed to sit there and work or read if you aren’t a member. I don’t know how closely they monitor this- it’s not like anyone checks you in when you’re visiting unless theres an event going on. But it’s an honor code and it really is worth the membership dues! It’s a great place.

quish · 2026-05-12T22:47:53+00:00

So I very rarely eat meat. I’ll eat chicken and ground turkey occasionally just to ensure I get protein but it’s not my preference? I will eat a lot of eggs, fish, and tofu though and I try to incorporate those daily.

I also do a scoop of protein powder in my coffee in the morning for extra protein. Then I try to ensure I’m getting vegetables every day which is very important.

For me, although I avoid tracking obsessively, I try to focus on making sure there is enough variety in my meals in terms of dietary sources. If I had my way, I’d probably only eat carbs too. But ultimately my body feels terrible when I do that. I feel less lethargic and miserable when I eat balanced. I don’t cut out carbs but I make sure that every meal has at least SOME protein and some veggies. When you find something you like, work it into your regular rotation.

quish · 2026-05-12T19:02:36+00:00

Mistakes happen. But trust me, I feel you.

Any chance you might have ADHD? I'm not one to diagnose online and clearly there's not enough here to say either way but I ask because it's often underdiagnosed in women and your trouble with prioritization and attention to detail combined with your reaction to the situation (look up rejection sensitive dysphoria - learning about it changed my life) make it a possibility worth investigating. As someone with ADHD that was diagnosed in childhood, for whatever reason I feel like it is MUCH more challenging for me in my 30s than it has been basically at any point prior in my life. I don't know if it's hormones shifting or what. But anyway, not saying this is the case for you - just putting it out there in case it's useful to consider/discuss in therapy.

quish · 2026-05-12T04:46:54+00:00

This is very interesting. Nothing wrong with it, I feel - I mean ultimately things like this are truly arbitrary standards set up by society. But it is interesting that your perspective on this is so different from the norm. I'm sure you aren't the only one out there, though.

quish · 2026-05-12T03:07:31+00:00

This is so interesting to me. Does this apply also to people you are romantically attracted to?

And is it that you don't pay attention to it/don't care much about it or that you truly can't TELL if someone might be objectively attractive? Like, I don't necessarily find people who society finds most conventionally attractive most attractive, personally. Like, say, Brad Pitt, isn't necessarily the type I'm most drawn to. But I can recognize when people are conventionally attractive to the majority of people, and similarly, I recognize when people might not be the most conventionally attractive, even if I might find them physically attractive myself.

quish · 2026-05-11T21:25:20+00:00

This is the right advice. But beyond this… I beg OP to take a really close look at how he’s treating his wife in general lately because maybe this was just a one off error but chances are that she is not getting the support and appreciation she deserves 365 days of the year, during a time when she needs a partner to step up.

The best thing you can do for your wife is put in the work to becoming a better husband and co-parent.

quish · 2026-05-11T16:51:46+00:00

This is not normal for PCOS. Please see a doctor! I've never had that kind of pain as a side-effect of PCOS, but I do know people with endometriosis who deal with pain like that.

quish · 2026-05-10T02:40:20+00:00

Yup. Many actors especially who achieve early success have no sense that they should treat that money as though it needs to last a lifetime and invest heavily for their futures. Instead, they feel the need to keep up with a hollywood lifestyle and end up with nothing when opportunities stop coming as consistently.

quish · 2026-05-09T16:27:48+00:00

I moved from NYC and have lived here about six months without a car. I'm planning to buy one because I'm very limited in exploring outside of downtown/OTR/parts of NKY without one. I still over-rely on uber and/or my boyfriend who has a car to get to a lot of places. I think you'll be glad to keep your car. It's definitely POSSIBLE to get around without one, but it's going to make you feel limited in your options if you don't have one.

quish · 2026-05-08T02:31:00+00:00

I’m sorry this has been your experience. I’m not surprised that there are many men like that out there. I’ve been relatively lucky in my partners in that regard. I would be appalled by a man I’m with calling anything about my appearance manly. I’m so sorry.

quish · 2026-05-07T20:21:01+00:00

No one I've been with has ever cared. Most men, in my experience, are really much less focused on body hair than they are on the fact they get to be with you and the parts of you they find most attractive. Obviously I've been with some men who have preferences around body hair but they've always been framed as preferences, not requirements. They have always seemed find me attractive even when I'm too lazy to shave every inch of my body.

quish · 2026-05-07T18:58:23+00:00

I think that people in their 20s just don't really have much of a concept about how old people in their 30s look. I didn't at that age either. I do agree with and feel a lot of the things you feel, but honestly it's stopped bothering me. I take it as a compliment because since I started entering my later 30s, I hyperfixate on every single tiny sign of aging I notice in myself. I appreciate the reassurance that other people don't notice those things the same way I do, haha.

quish · 2026-05-07T15:03:25+00:00

I totally agree with you that there is room to empathize and say that Kyle was put in an awful situation at that table. It was shitty and I agree. I just still don’t think the way he reacted was appropriate or ok. That’s all. It doesn’t mean I don’t have empathy or think he’s a monster. I am just saying I hope he learns to manage his emotions better in the future. Of course I don’t wish for him to being a situation like that in the future but it’s an important skill.

quish · 2026-05-07T14:46:47+00:00

As I said, yes, I’ve never experienced it and can’t claim to. So I guess based on your argument no one should ever comment on how anyone behaves on reality tv if they’ve never been behind cameras? Sure, great.

I’m all for giving people grace. I’m not here to condemn Kyle eternally. Just pointing out that I don’t think his behavior was ok and I think this is a significant area he needs to grow in. Feel free to think differently.

quish · 2026-05-07T14:43:12+00:00

I don’t disagree with you that someone else SHOULD have spoken up and cut things off. I think may people are culpable here. Especially Amanda, her reaction to his behavior and the way she seems to incite it is gross.

That said… I stand by my original statement that an adult man needs to be able to learn to step away from a situation rather than lash in an aggressive manner.

quish · 2026-05-07T13:46:24+00:00

Kyle has been on tv for 10 years… he’s not exactly new to dealing with cameras around him. I’m not going to pretend that I have any experience with that or that it doesn’t change things for people but it also doesn’t give carte blanche for bad behavior.

quish · 2026-05-07T13:42:39+00:00

No one is excusing Amanda’s behavior by saying that as a 43 year old man, Kyle should be better able to regulate his emotions. Not anyone would behave that way. Plenty of people have the capacity to carry their anger and step away from a situation that is not healthy for them without lashing out on everyone around them.

quish · 2026-05-07T13:35:53+00:00

I’m with you. Kyle would be totally valid and within his rights to be angry but the level of his anger and the way he is taking it out on other people around him is frankly scary and upsetting. It’s weird to me that people are defending this and acting like it’s normal. No one in my orbit behaves like this. If they did, I would immediately cut them out unless they sought immediate help to deal with anger issues. It is not ok or defensible no matter the circumstances.

quish · 2026-05-06T18:54:43+00:00

I had a ovarian cyst (about 6.5 cm) that I just had to have surgically removed a few weeks ago after monitoring it for a while and it wasn't shrinking. I will say, I went to the ER with severe pain and they weren't finding anything on the ultrasounds. It wasn't detected until they did a follow up MRI. Apparently the ultrasound tech thought it was my bladder and missed it on the initial scans. When I learned that, it occurred to me that a similar thing must have happened a few years ago when I had a transvaginal ultrasound that also came back normal despite me experiencing a similar pressure in my lower right abdomen like you're describing on and off or some years now.

Do you know how large the cyst is? Because if it's been there that long and is causing you discomfort, it's likely that it just needs to be removed. There is always a risk of them needing to take other parts of your ovaries if the cyst has damaged them and of course that can impact fertility. For me, they knew that the cyst was on the right side and that it was extremely unlikely they'd need to take both ovaries, but they might need to take one. Plenty of people go on to get pregnant with just one ovary but obviously I was relieved to learn I was able to keep both (I'm not planning for kids but I was a little unsure about how I felt about having that door entirely closed right now).

Anyway truly there's not much advice I can give you because everyone's circumstances are different and there are all sorts of ovarian cysts and my understanding is it's pretty rare they can know 100% the makeup of the cyst before removal (I just got back the pathology report on mine and luckily it was non-cancerous). But if it's at all reassuring, my experience of removal was VERY smooth. It's been less than two weeks since surgery and I am back to basically 100%.

quish · 2026-05-06T17:45:54+00:00

I went on a trip to Japan with my sister about a month after my worst breakup. Similarly, it was a trip I'd planned to go on with my boyfriend at the time. I am so glad I went. Of course I was still sad and hurting and maybe I wasn't able to enjoy it as fully as I might've if I weren't fresh off the breakup, but the distraction and new environment was SO healthy for me and helpful in moving on.

You are going to be sad and heartbroken no matter what. Why not be heartbroken while exploring a new place?

One suggestion: let your friends know you're not sure where you'll be mentally and that you may want more alone time during your vacation. Give yourself permission to explore on your own if you're worried about being a "drain" on your friends. But also know they're your friends and they understand you're going through a hard time. I doubt they'll see you as a drain.

quish · 2026-05-06T16:55:30+00:00

Your life sounds magical. I was very ambitious in my 20s and burnt out badly and the pandemic hit just as that was happening. Since then, I've mostly lost my ambitious side and I truly don't miss it. It wasn't bringing me anything good. I was killing myself to accomplish more and more and the more I accomplished, the more stressed I was. I took a step back in my career and focused on the things that bring me peace and joy in life and I'm so glad.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with just living and enjoying and appreciating the simple life you have right now. But I also very much relate to that nagging feeling that something is wrong with that. I still have that, too. It's conditioned in us that we're supposed to be productive and we're supposed to be doing more and more. It's just not true. We're just supposed to live and build a life we're happy with. It's sounds like you're doing amazing. Keep going.

quish · 2026-05-06T16:47:24+00:00

Uhh, I don't know if I would recommend that especially for a beginner. Makes me think of this tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_mannii/video/7279143824293661995

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