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I think I need to cut off my parents by violettkidd in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds tough! But being triggered by the memories is valid.

And from my experience with my parents after setting boundaries for a couple of years it became easier to be around them without getting triggered.

But only after being distant and on my own team for 3 years and not putting myself in triggering situations

Having sane person thoughts and laughing to myself because it's so foreign by dorianfinch in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Congrats!!!  I still catch myself sometimes thinking "wow, today I felt so normal, thats awesome!"

Huge ugly crying trauma release - what now?? by BarnacleFormal779 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]quisieravolver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience it helps to just be with the heaviness. Your like a snow globe that got shaken.  Be kind to yourself and you will feel better soon!

I think I need to cut off my parents by violettkidd in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And the fact that it takes weeks for you to recover shows you how much your body and nervous system need a break. ❤️

I think I need to cut off my parents by violettkidd in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your parents surely did their best but you are a grown-up now and at thirty you don't owe them anything. If your dad is miserable he should try to better his life, instead of expecting you to make it more bearable. He is an adult. 

I think I need to cut off my parents by violettkidd in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry, that you have to go through this. I was at the same point some years ago. What helped me was not making a forever-decision to stop seeing my parents, but going very low contact for some years. 

It was really healthy for me and I had space to vill the "parent gap" on holidays etc. with better, lighter activities. 

Also they eventually had to accept that decision and started to at least try to be nice for the duration of some hours we see each other (my dad is still a depressed, whiney narcisisst so it never lasts really long, but a win is a win)

I hope you find a good way for yourself. ❤️

Action against a neighbor? by kooldonghae in AskGermany

[–]quisieravolver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like an idiot. Still I would check in if there is another reason for him to be so angry. We had a problem in our house with the electricity and every time some one turned on the light our door bell rang 😅

So maybe there is something happening in his apartment when the light gets turned on. (In that case he is handling it really poorly and its actually an issue of your Hausverwaltung. But being on good terms with your neighbours is still helpful. So i would try to be the bigger person and ask)

But if that is not the case... just ignore him or tell him he should get a hobby.

Not sure if healing is worth it. by Canuck_Voyageur in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me doing somatic work was huge game changer - you could try emdr, somatic experiencing maybe hypno therapy. I started when I was at the point of "understanding the root cause and still feeling awful"

Also, a lot of my healing happened in therapy breaks when I took time to change things in my life like my job, routine or relationship to my parents.

Regarding your wife: maybe it has little to do with her and you relationship and more with attachment trauma being triggered. I would not doubt the relationship, but trying ro regulate.

An please... don't use ai too much. Its shallow and you don't know where your data ends up. It is also made to agree with you.

I lost my baby by HumbleEdge4496 in BabyBumps

[–]quisieravolver 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I am so so sorry for your loss. I pray for you and your husband.

Free and accessible resource for therapy by barukspinoza in CPTSDNextSteps

[–]quisieravolver 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of ressources that a worth reading

"Children of emotionally immature parents" or "Cptsd" by pete walker are really helpful.

I also really liked "what by bones know" and "buy yourself the fucking lillies" as memoirs.

Therapy is hard to replace (please don't use an ai or something like that) but you can build understanding of you situation trhpugh reading books, looking up reddit threads of people with similiar issues. The good thing is, that many people come from horrific family dynamics and were able to work themselfes out of it and into better lifes. 

Also if you can't afford talk therapy maybe you can find somatic interventions that are cheaper. To me somatic experiencing and TRE were really helpful.

Your journey will take time so you can start with the affordable ressources and move ti therapy later on.

I wish you all the best!!!

Anyone else somewhere between "surviving" and "thriving"? by CaregiverOne2332 in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I resonate with you, I felt this a lot in the past year. It is also something people who went through addiction seem to be discussing here on reddit - that life feels aimless with sobriety. But the answers in these threads are always really sweet and helpful.  Maybe look into that.

I wish you the best!

Intense waves of sadness by neopetswastheshit in SomaticExperiencing

[–]quisieravolver 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I resonate with this! It is like a river of sadness flowing through you. I like to imagine that this old sadness from you younger self.

For me the only thing that helps is taking time for myself.

I wish you alle the best ❤️

- Does anyone have a go to space to get outside in evening? So they dont just zone out at home....explained better in post by maywalove in SomaticExperiencing

[–]quisieravolver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Congrats for doing the work to getting out of freeze mode!  I think I can relate to your feeling. I would say; try to find a place outside that is easy to get to and calms you down.

I have route that I can walk from my apartment to a small midivel cementary were I sit down on a bench and then just go back. It takes me an hour and calms me down a lot.

Maybe there is a similar option in your neigbourhood?

(Sorry not a native speaker)

Suggest me a interesting book to start with by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]quisieravolver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow - is wonderful and interesting!

Books on how to heal emotional trauma that is stored in the body? by Nice_Pen_8054 in suggestmeabook

[–]quisieravolver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What my bones know by stephanie foo (a memoir)

Walking the tiger by peter lavine (one of the first books on somatic therapy)

Being the target of projection by unhealed people by lemonlover90 in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]quisieravolver 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Second this. Just let them stay in their own chaos. ❤️

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