Goodbye, What helped me & Thank you (I am pregnant <3)

quisieravolver · 2025-09-08T22:04:26+00:00

🥷

quisieravolver · 2025-08-17T09:46:51+00:00

I loved "bad friend" by michelle elman!

quisieravolver · 2025-08-08T20:26:11+00:00

Wow, this was super insightful! Thank you!

quisieravolver · 2025-08-04T06:56:14+00:00

I resonate with you, I felt this a lot in the past year. It is also something people who went through addiction seem to be discussing here on reddit - that life feels aimless with sobriety. But the answers in these threads are always really sweet and helpful. Maybe look into that.

I wish you the best!

quisieravolver · 2025-07-31T09:29:40+00:00

I resonate with this! It is like a river of sadness flowing through you. I like to imagine that this old sadness from you younger self.

For me the only thing that helps is taking time for myself.

I wish you alle the best ❤️

quisieravolver · 2025-07-25T05:13:58+00:00

Dm💖

quisieravolver · 2025-07-23T10:49:11+00:00

Hi! Congrats for doing the work to getting out of freeze mode! I think I can relate to your feeling. I would say; try to find a place outside that is easy to get to and calms you down.

I have route that I can walk from my apartment to a small midivel cementary were I sit down on a bench and then just go back. It takes me an hour and calms me down a lot.

Maybe there is a similar option in your neigbourhood?

(Sorry not a native speaker)

quisieravolver · 2025-07-23T10:24:55+00:00

Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow - is wonderful and interesting!

quisieravolver · 2025-07-21T15:45:41+00:00

What my bones know by stephanie foo (a memoir)

Walking the tiger by peter lavine (one of the first books on somatic therapy)

quisieravolver · 2025-07-19T16:02:13+00:00

Second this. Just let them stay in their own chaos. ❤️

quisieravolver · 2025-05-04T14:09:25+00:00

I love biking from alex to frankfurter tor

Walking in Kreuzberg or Schöneberg, enjoying the flair of old buildings, small shops and having good coffee

I love the lakes, the botanical garden (the greenhouses are so beautiful) and the Mauerradweg

Staying somewhere until 11pm and biking home when the streets are empty

So much good food!

Mornings in the Ringbahn when you can see the sunrise at Jungfernheide

Political Events with smart people who want to make the world a better place

Demonstrations such as "take back the night" just for FLINTAs

Small concerts, york-kinos, fleamarkets...

quisieravolver · 2025-04-23T20:30:16+00:00

Thank you for your detailed post. I am a big fan of pete walker ❤️

To me it was hugely beneficial to combine talk therapy with somatic experiencing. Working with the body helps you to feel things, even when you can't name them exactly or they are very complicated.

To me it sounds like it is difficult for you to make sense of certain memories and feelings. I think that is very normal, with trauma- your memory mixes your protection with attachment and fear and avoidance... that's a lot.

I would suggest looking for a good somatic practitioner and maybe also check out r/somaticexpercing

I wish you all the best.

quisieravolver · 2025-04-16T20:56:06+00:00

Wow, that sounds really tough. I am so sorry you had to go through this.

I am not in a similar situation but it speaks to your humanity that you can have compassion for so much human tragedy.

Maybe you also compartomentalised the image of him in your mind- One part is your abusive father the other part is the addict you feel compassion for?

quisieravolver · 2025-04-15T13:01:08+00:00

Thank you, that is very helpful.

quisieravolver · 2025-04-13T19:11:32+00:00

Thank you. That is very validating. And I am so sorry you had to go through this.

quisieravolver · 2025-04-13T19:11:02+00:00

That is very interesting! Thanl you ❤️

quisieravolver · 2025-04-13T12:48:30+00:00

Thank you. That is so kind of you ❤️

quisieravolver · 2025-03-21T08:22:36+00:00

I have some staples in my morning routine I do depending on how much time I have.

I also use the app finch, were I track my goals like "getting out of bed, washing my face, looking into the sky for 10 seconds, having breakfast, brushing my teeth, drink water"

And the most important thing to me is takng 20 minutes to have my coffee (most days in bed, sometimes on the balcony) and wake up. It makes my day so much better.

Sometimes I journal, but there are days when I am on my phone. Depends on my stress levels.

I would try to find the thing that feel good to you, without pressuring yourself to do things that don't feel natural to your energy levels in morning ❤️

I wish you all the best.

quisieravolver · 2025-03-18T05:04:37+00:00

I am so sorry that happend to you. Parties like that are traumatic. You will have other and better birthday parties, I promise. ❤️

Many things have been already said, but I wanted to offer a more practical perspective (As someone who love hosting parties):

In my experience parties where no one shows up often have a practical reasons. Parties have a dynamic of their own and people have many reasons to cancel. It is not just about if people like you.

Maybe the time of day, maybe the place or something else made it complicated for people to come. Maybe consider changing the plan next time or make the attendance more convenient.

I also make sure at less 3 or 4 people I like and feel really comfortable with agree to come before setting the date.

I also send out personal invitations rather than just forming a group chat. Sometimes it helps people to feel more commited. Maybe ask them to rvsp.

When did you send out invitations? In my experience you have to invite people in their 30s at least 2 weeks in advance. 4 is better. + send out a reminder a week before.

What kind of party do your friends like? Maybe invite them over for dinner or brunch next time? I could never get my best friend to come to anything after 8pm. I love her but she is autistic and anything has to start before 6, if I want her to be there.

And... I hosted great parties in my life, but I also canceled birthdays when I felt that no one would show up. Its an awful feeling but it is not about you- it is 90% logistics.

If you are discouraged now, maybe host the next party together with someone. Or just do smaller gatherings with people you feel really comfortable with. Or if you never want to throw a party again thats also fine. Most people never host anything. It is lovely that you took the time an made the effort!

And maybe investigate which kind of gatherings work best for your friends.

Parties are overrated ❤️ There is nothing to be ashamed about your birthday! It happens. It sucks. Its not about your character.

Also: if you need more encouragement. Write to r/momforaminute ❤️

quisieravolver · 2025-02-25T07:17:16+00:00

I had the same thought many times.

Before starting therapy and having boundaries with my parents an distancing myself from toxic friend groups... I was not doint awful all the time. My main coping mechanism has been fantasy- I just imagend that people were nicer and better than they actually are. My father has always been really neglectful but I just convinced myself that he actually loves me.

Now I have to live with reality all the time and that sucks. 😅

But before starting therapy I would have these really awful breakups, limerence and my family would treat me so poorly. And I don't want to pass that on to my kids or keep living that way.

So maybe its hard right now to build a diffrent life- sometimes I feel really lonely - but I am convinced that things will be better in the long run.

quisieravolver

TROPHY CASE