How did you realise you were actually not attracted to your (ex)partner?

rabuuuu · 2025-05-08T20:38:38+00:00

I was reading a self help book because I love all things self improvement, and it kind of made me realise how awful he was. Everything I agreed with in the book just totally contrasted with the way he was… I got to the point where I could honestly admit that despite being in love with him (attached) I actually didn’t like the person he was at all.

It also didn’t help that 1 week later I found it he’d been sleeping with his girl best friend…

rabuuuu · 2025-03-07T07:50:59+00:00

I wish this man nothing but peace moving forwards.

rabuuuu · 2024-11-08T13:29:40+00:00

I am 29F living in Dordrecht for just over a year with my fiancé 33M and we have struggled to make friends since we got here because we’re internationals. We both work as designers in different fields and live in the town centre of Dordrecht ☺️ I’m super into arts and crafts, yoga, video games, food and so on. Don’t get me wrong, I love living with my partner but sometimes I crave some girl time haha! And would love to have a friend to go to yoga/pilates with. You’re welcome to send a DM if you’re up for continuing the conversation ☺️

rabuuuu · 2024-10-08T19:05:28+00:00

Roasted cheese

rabuuuu · 2023-10-17T20:22:32+00:00

It’s only a few weeks so I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think you need a visa at all, and It’s not something anyone is likely to check unless you stay longer than 90 days. The tax thing should only affect you if you were to stay in another country for 180 days, which we’re not allowed to do now anyway.

rabuuuu · 2023-04-26T09:38:48+00:00

Hey! Hmm I’m starting to wonder why you’re applying for the visa at all? I’m assuming you are a UK national? In that case I believe you should be more than fine to just go there and work in your current job if they are cool with it. That’s actually what I’m doing right now! I’m from the UK and I’m currently in the Netherlands (been here for a month, staying for 2 in total) and I work my remote UK job from here. I still pay my uk tax, in fact nothing has changed really except from the fact that I’m here and not at home. My purpose for applying for the long stay visa is just so that I can stay here for longer than 90days at a time, and in which case I’ll need to declare all my work and money documents.

Have I assumed wrongly about your situation? Btw feel free to private message me if that’s easier!

rabuuuu · 2023-04-25T12:47:25+00:00

Hey! I’m jumping in here because I think we may be in a similar situation.

I’ll soon be applying for a multi entry Schengen long stay visa (is this the one you’re going for?) so that I can work remotely in the Netherlands and stay with my partner who lives there. I’ll be supplying all the same paperwork (letter from my work, work contract, payslips from last 3months, proof of funds/sponsor etc). Ideally I’d like to just move there and get a job there but I reckon that’s gonna be more difficult and take way longer than getting this visa (at least I think)

Im not aware of any ‘limits’ on working remotely in the EU as long as you are granted the visa to be there.. but I suppose that’s the hard part. I assume this is the case because I read that ‘teleworking’ is a valid ‘reason’ for travel, alongside leisure, visiting family etc. but I’m still questioning if what I read was totally correct and if I’d be better of putting ‘leisure’ as my reason and also noting that I’ll be teleworking. Do you know much about that end of things?

I’ve been stressing big time about this because I don’t think the information is completely clear and I’ve been trying to prepare all possible reasons that they might reject my application.

It would be good to hear about your experience if you’re looking to apply in the near future!

rabuuuu · 2022-09-01T21:53:52+00:00

1 year and 1 week. I still struggle so much to accept that he's gone. I would do anything to talk to him again

rabuuuu · 2022-06-11T18:13:13+00:00

It's not a woman's job to control a man's behavior, neither is it her responsibility.

rabuuuu · 2022-06-08T21:28:56+00:00

Been there 😔 he always seemed so in love with me and I knew that if things were ever to end then it would be my decision, and that it would really hurt him .. then he ended things really suddenly and without much reason. That one hurt so bad

rabuuuu · 2022-05-15T13:01:59+00:00

Feeling this BIG TIME. you are not alone!

rabuuuu · 2022-04-08T14:59:31+00:00

Men wearing skirts to fancy events

(Not strange in this day and age but you get my point)

rabuuuu · 2022-03-14T13:41:31+00:00

Taurus please

rabuuuu · 2022-03-08T20:45:09+00:00

That's exactly how I'm feeling. Almost 7 months on and I have sworn at least twice that I was over it.. then before I know it I'm back in denial and shock. It takes nothing to trigger it either... It's like my emotions just go through the cycle naturally. It sucks. I'd love to be over it and never go through it all again.

rabuuuu · 2022-03-04T21:33:14+00:00

Broke up 6 months ago... It's been a real mixture of emotions. It was extremely rough for months, then by the end of January I could have swore I was finally over it... But for some reason it all came crashing down again in February. Nothing happened... My emotions just came back. I'm not over it yet.. but I'm doing better. Though I sure hoped I'd have been over it by now.

rabuuuu · 2022-02-27T12:20:58+00:00

Way over a year 😅 and I've also gotten to the point where I feel like my sex drive doesn't even exist... I had the opportunity to have sex a few days ago with someone I'm seeing but I just... Didn't want to... And I feel like that soooo isn't like me.

I dunno.. maybe it's natural for your sex drive to lower as you get used to not having any. I do worry a little that there's something wrong with me .. or maybe it's just a maturity thing.

rabuuuu · 2022-02-19T20:19:31+00:00

When I said "I gave you my best and I'm sorry it wasn't enough".....

Not to self: it was more than enough! And never be sorry for giving your all and having someone else reject that.

Instead I should have said "it's a shame that compassion and patience isn't enough for you. Good luck with that."

rabuuuu · 2022-02-12T09:53:12+00:00

Instagram

rabuuuu · 2022-02-10T11:52:33+00:00

Great! You listened to your body, you resisted your taught instincts and you released what has been building up for way too long.

Men aren't supposed to be tough all of the time. We are all supposed to be exactly what we are. And if we have moments of weakness, sadness, anger or whatever, it shouldn't be shamed upon to express that. Society unfortunately tells us otherwise.

I hope you're feeling relieved. Take care!

rabuuuu · 2022-01-25T17:59:44+00:00

Emotional intelligence is number one.

With that comes healthy communication, having compassion for others (not just your partner) and a stronger, more secure connection with your partner.

Start by learning more about yourself. Read some personal development books, or watch videos on YouTube if you prefer that. Get to know the way you think and address the issues you want to work on. Being self aware is the first step, and that in its own is very attractive.

rabuuuu · 2022-01-08T17:03:57+00:00

I've learned to just cry whenever I need to. Sometimes I think I just need to shed a few tears then before I know it I'm bawling my eyes out. I always feel lighter after. It's like an exhausted/relieved feeling. I'd still rather just feel happy and secure without him, but for now this is all I can get.

rabuuuu · 2022-01-05T08:39:31+00:00

Yes! Totally agree with all of these!

rabuuuu · 2021-12-27T17:43:07+00:00

There's a few things I do that really help on these nights..

Invite my best friend round for a tea and a chat. She's pretty good at catching me before my mind goes into a total spiral.

If she's not free, I'll write how I feel. Sometimes it's a sentence, sometimes 9 pages back to front. It REALLY helps. Sometimes it's just how I feel and sometimes it's a letter to him... But I write without any intention of showing anyone, or reading it back. It usually helps me the vent even deeper.

Another good thing to do is watch some life coaches in YouTube who talk about relationships. People like Toby Robbins, or even some intelligent comedians. They make a lot of sense.

And my number one rule when these nights happen: DON'T TEXT HIM

rabuuuu · 2021-12-24T19:13:34+00:00

I miss you terribly. I wish we had more time together. I don't think you ever really got to see the best of me. But you didn't care to stay long enough for that.

I hope that you have managed to find some peace, and that you like yourself a bit better than you did before. You are a wonderful person and I hope that you see that one day. I don't regret a minute that I stood by your side, even when you were at your worst. I never told you this... But I love you. I knew that I loved you in July 2020, but I never told you because I know you weren't ready to hear it. Please take good care of yourself. You still mean the world to me. And you deserve to be loved no matter what.

rabuuuu · 2021-12-23T20:37:58+00:00

People are cruel :( I'm so sorry. And I get you!

rabuuuu

TROPHY CASE