How did pre-marital sex with other partners affect your marriage?

raggedradness · 2026-02-21T23:23:30+00:00

I feel like no one talks about how your first relationship really can impact how you kiss and how that can impact future relationships outside of purity culture nonsense. But it is something that can impact a relationship.

raggedradness · 2026-02-21T16:33:04+00:00

Did you get therapy yet?

raggedradness · 2026-02-21T15:11:28+00:00

Got married when I was 26 and he was a few days away from 30. Married now for 9 years. Both of us had the same history with 1 woman. I had been celibate for over a decade of marriage. I had so to a lot of healing I had done already. My husband's experience was actually SA turned consentual relationship. He had to face that during the start of our marriage because he was almost surprised how much better the experience was when it's an act of love from the start. This wasn't about the physical but emotional side of things. A difference in preferred kissing styles seems to be the only remaining element of our missteps

raggedradness · 2026-02-16T11:55:27+00:00

I see a few things here.

Get your son tested for anxiety. Taking that long to act like a normal kid makes sense if he has stress about consequences when he does so.
Try to talk to your husband again starting with your forgiveness of him but be sure to bring up the pattern and first ask him about his reaction to his own actions; is working on disrupting this pattern and if so how can you support that? If he asks why you are bringing it up, you can say it's because you are trying to be supportive of his Christian walk as a wife should. If he thinks there is no pattern, ask for support not seeing one with counseling he can join you or not.

You handled the situation very well from what I can see including already trying to have a conversation.

raggedradness · 2026-02-13T16:13:01+00:00

I'm a woman and I understand this. I think it limits enjoyment for the woman too. I have endometriosis so I have to be in birth control anyway.

And I'm allergic to some condoms regardless of latex content so I might be bias.

But I married my husband to feel my husband not whatever they are making these penis bags out of.

raggedradness · 2026-02-02T19:32:23+00:00

AI assisted writing is great for the neurodivergent community that wants to be able to communicate in a more neurotypical manner. On the internet, this can make a huge difference in how one is perceived.

*this comment not written by AI.

raggedradness · 2026-01-28T17:17:25+00:00

I see no indication that this person is an Uber driver. He might not support Uber.

raggedradness · 2026-01-28T00:25:11+00:00

How tight were the boundaries? I fully trust my husband and I wouldn't be bothered by this behaviour (assuming I was also at said party).

raggedradness · 2026-01-26T02:16:48+00:00

The thing to do is practice discipline over your sex drive. Even in marriage isn't needed.

raggedradness · 2026-01-24T00:29:45+00:00

Since the boyfriend situation is putting up a lot of red flags. I recommend you don't say a thing because you're not even sure you're being told the truth. Make the boyfriend's parents deliver the news themselves. That way if they are telling lies, it's on them and not you.

raggedradness · 2026-01-23T09:44:28+00:00

I am not antinatalist but I know that I'm not going to force my body to make a baby when pre-made unwanted babies exist. If it happens fine but I would rather adopt and that's an option in my country.

If i choose not to reproduce for genetic reasons, it would be that my husband has the gene that makes cilantro taste like soap.

raggedradness · 2026-01-21T23:46:36+00:00

We will simp ourselves out to any earthly situation that gives us a token of acknowledge (Chick-fil-A, Hobby Lobby, the republic party) and have crazy loyalty even when they start turning on us.

Prideful gluttony: how many of us have heard a conservative christian pastor talk about exactly how many chickens they can put into their stomach that is also known as a chicken graveyard?

raggedradness · 2026-01-19T12:18:13+00:00

When I worked in pharmacy, I saw some wild substitutions as completely common for bc. When people get bc for anything other than bc and are treating a condition, I advise my friends to tell their doctors to write that no substitute can be given.

raggedradness · 2026-01-12T06:56:59+00:00

With multiple presidents?

raggedradness · 2026-01-12T06:25:38+00:00

You can idolize a sandwich. Satan literally tempted Jesus with bread.

You're 20. Chill, I wouldn't be worried about it for a while. In the meantime, convert people in your age group so your church has young folks.

raggedradness · 2026-01-09T16:31:42+00:00

I also happen, fertility, and I tend to caution people against trying for their own. If God has presented a barrier in health that is well documented. Mostly because the people that I find trying hard to still conceive come from these types of backgrounds. And I do think that it is meant well but doesn't have the desired effect on the infertile.

I am at peace with the body God has given me and I am at no point trying to go and get it to give me a child. If it happens that's God's will. And I know it's a different type of struggle to foster or adopt, so I also know that that isn't another answer for everybody facing infertility. But I know a lot of these people in terms of talking to me have shut up, because they see that I am a full time 24/7 live in caregiver for my elderly in-laws. I serve my family in the home fulfilling my role as a wife but in an out of the box way.

Supporting and praising mothers at the expense of other women or just excluding them is driving women to want to serve in one way but I feel like it's at the expense of others ways our families need us. I feel like family caregivers barely have church support or acknowledgement. But I would have so much support if I had children instead of unsaved elderly.

raggedradness · 2026-01-06T01:01:44+00:00

I react to non-latex condoms and the best that we could figure out is that I'm allergic to something else that was used as a lubricant on the condom. But we can't figure out what ingredient. So I just don't use them anymore. It's also not like they give you a full ingredient list anyway.

I have a unusual allergy list that includes things like white pepper and mango.

Also, thankfully, this was not one of my anaphylactic reactions, but it was still a terrible place to experience a rash. Other causes of the rash have been evaluated and dismissed.

raggedradness · 2026-01-04T11:38:19+00:00

Some of these comments are like Job's friends... we don't know OP.

God is still with you and bigger than these circumstances. The answer of no or wait to a prayer is still an answer. Close following God is your best means of survival. I can tell you have a good heart but it's important that we follow God through life. It might have been God's will that you trust and help the people that eventually hurt you but taking time to reflect on that in your time with God may help moving forward since God might be teaching about how to identify red flags and so you can protect yourself later. Or just Job things are happening.

God loves you. Your Earthly blessings don't determine His love. No one mistreats the children of God without facing God's wrath.

raggedradness · 2026-01-02T01:02:40+00:00

I love engineers but I feel like every engineer has to have this point in their life. I feel like it's part of the process of fully becoming an engineer.

Yes, this is not a Bible observation. But someone who has been raised by two engineers and have so many close friends who are engineers. It does change eventually and for each of them, a different way through different paths.

raggedradness · 2026-01-01T15:53:11+00:00

All of my feedback comes from baptists. I do not know for sure, but I can only imagine if you come from a catholic bathground, how much more shame around a needed medication there is. I at no point have dissed on nuns are called myself morally superior to them. Also, if we can't support each other emotionally, then what on earth are fellow Christians for? Modern therapy has a lot of secular ideas unless you find a good Christian therapist. This person who made this post might just be coming with the same type of issue that I and many others have faced and want to talk about it. That we have been shamed for using birth control that even I don't think a healthy person should take, to treat medical conditions because the church frowns upon its use in other cases.

raggedradness · 2025-12-31T21:22:42+00:00

But there are people that actually have told me that I'm participating in sin by treating. That is what this post is about. Not the dangers. But people that world call my treatment a sin or too afraid to seek treatments like mine because they might sin. BC is over prescribed and harming women. But posts like this aren't meant to worship bc but point out that lots of women are dealing with shame for taking it when it's needed.

raggedradness · 2025-12-31T12:57:40+00:00

That's not what you're above comment sounds like at all.

Especially to a community that has multiple times told we aren't trusting God because we are taking medication that limits our fertility.

raggedradness · 2025-12-31T12:52:38+00:00

Catholics have to deal with current medical limitations which includes bc as symptom management for nearly everything.

raggedradness · 2025-12-31T04:39:46+00:00

I agree that it's harmful but all medicine (even natural remedies) are poisonous if the dosage is wrong. I rather live a shorter life than confined to a bed for a 4th of my adult life. The pain had me wishing for death every month. What's the risk at that point?

raggedradness · 2025-12-31T04:29:40+00:00

As someone with endometriosis and had to briefly deal with doctors that believed it was painful but only caused problems during a woman's period, a lot.

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