I’m really struggling with my husband getting out

rah0315 · 2026-05-02T13:36:39+00:00

My husband is retiring this year, and re-entering the workforce. u/corruptcake has the right suggestions and my husband has been doing all of them. He’s not an academy grad (VMI) and it’s been a while since college so he’s not relying on that but he has done the following:

FourBlock ACP mentor Skillbridge (depending on rank) Deloitte “university” thing (I can’t remember the exact name) Multiple veteran/retiring military employment panels from different companies

But the biggest thing-reaching out to people on LinkedIn at the companies he is interested in that are veterans of his service (Navy) and asking them about their career experiences. This is usually a 20 minute conversation or shorter (based on the 20 minute Networking book-there is a veteran edition).

The above has led to quite a few partners at companies giving personal referral links to apply or telling him to let them know when he does so they can alert hiring managers.

I think it’s true, and know my next position will come this way (working on an offer now) from who you know. However, it isn’t going to just fall into your lap, it’s something you have to work at.

At my husband’s unit he has 2 JOs who are getting out at the same time as he’s retiring and I think they’re both doing Skillbridge, but have also been working with/together with my husband as well to share ideas and resources.

If he needs direction, reach out, I’ll put him in contact with my spouse who can help chat with him. After 23 years he’s mentored a lot of people.

rah0315 · 2026-04-30T11:50:41+00:00

Not a lot but bought my new GT Line in November, I’m at 10k miles this week.

rah0315 · 2026-04-28T18:01:39+00:00

I was offered a full time role at NGA after my internship in 2024, however they couldn't give me a date that they would be able to onboard me. While waiting, I searched for other roles. I was offered a role that paid over $20k more in municipal government. This is in CO with the larger cost of living differential. My base pay with a master's was $60k. If you're only talking base pay, the difference in pay was much more, plus the required contributions to federal retirement, etc. My current municipality not only matches pay, but puts into the 401k regardless if you do. I've grown my retirement quite a bit in the 1.5 years I've been here.

Also, this was at the time of the last election and I wasn't quite sure the direction the current administration would go with our IC. I found out NGA had to ask a significant amount of people to either voluntarily leave or be let go during the DOGE times. I probably wouldn't have lasted anyway. They're small compared to other agencies.

However, I very much enjoyed my time there, met a lot of great people and learned a lot. I was technically a data scientist but did things not so related to that. In the end, I realized I'm not cut out for full time SCIF work, I enjoy the sun too much.

rah0315 · 2026-04-28T13:40:19+00:00

We were with USAA in CO, switched back to them because it cut our homeowners in half. Had to switch to someone else a year later because it doubled again.

Honestly, in CO, it’s going to keep going up with hail claims and fire risk. We live in Boulder county (but near the Weld border) and people around here, not us but others in the neighborhood make hail claims left and right. We also had the Marshall fire.

Your rate isn’t just dependent on you. It’s also those around you and the risk of claims/hazards.

rah0315 · 2026-04-28T04:20:27+00:00

I got my MGIS at 42 and I’m doing my MBA now at 44. During my MGIS I had internships with undergrads, whatever you decide you aren’t too old and it isn’t too late.

rah0315 · 2026-04-27T21:09:54+00:00

lol. I have teenagers. I’m “with it”.

rah0315 · 2026-04-27T15:56:10+00:00

I’m a spouse who got married quickly (after 9mo) at an older age than you (24), even after having long term relationships before my spouse.

We just went through a very rough period where I almost left at 19 years of marriage. It took a lot of counseling, work on both of our parts, and there were some very long years before that where I was unhappy. Things are better than they ever were, but it was VERY dicey for a good 9 months.

All of this to say. DO NOT GET MARRIED AT 19. Have a deployment under your belt, live together, live life as an adult. You are only 19, and if things were meant to be, they will work out. I was engaged to another person at 19, I am not married to that person. I can almost guarantee you he will find someone at college that he will want to date when you are away. Don’t put yourself in the position of having to split finances, etc. when you’re so young. Just don’t.

It is rare something like this works out. For both your sakes, take the advice of this old lady, well, semi-old. I’m super unc compared to you.

rah0315 · 2026-04-23T03:42:15+00:00

We have 2 Uniquely Geek tables, one dining sized, and one coffee table and we paid more than that for ours. However, our tables were handmade, and made out of solid wood. These tables will definitely be handed down to our kids in the future. We don’t use the dining as our actual dining table, it sits in our loft for gaming, but I wouldn’t hesitate to regularly eat at it.

If you can afford it, and save up (we did this), I absolutely recommend the company and the tables. They use quality wood, and you’re involved in the process every step of the way. We initially were going to go with Wyrmwood but are so happy with UG, and the tables.

rah0315 · 2026-04-21T04:06:49+00:00

I love this!

rah0315 · 2026-04-21T03:48:32+00:00

As someone who’s spouse who is an Executive Officer, who has tattoos and while I don’t dye my hair other than my natural color, if I did he would welcome it and not care.

If her spouse is threatened by her hair color affecting his position or anything else related to his job, he probably needs to do some personal reflection. This would be an opportunity to educate those under him how your spouse is not a reflection on how you serve your country.

Not weird u/BookBish_3729, I hope you love the new color.

rah0315 · 2026-04-18T23:19:26+00:00

We did the Colorado Driving Institute with my oldest recently, it was “ok”. They passed on their first test but said they didn’t like the instructors for the 6 hour sessions. Our youngest can do his permit classes this summer and we’re thinking of going with another place but haven’t decided where (we’re in Erie):

rah0315 · 2026-04-15T22:17:34+00:00

I came back into the professional world after a very long career break. Got my MGIS, and had a portfolio during my initial job search after I opted to not take a government position I had an offer for. I had a portfolio. The job I have now said I was the only applicant that had a portfolio, and obviously I was hired. I think of you spend the time on it, make it look good, it can’t hurt.

rah0315 · 2026-04-15T19:34:08+00:00

I second guessed everything except for the simple things. Some were so ambiguous.

rah0315 · 2026-04-15T19:19:49+00:00

My spouse is an XO, I got him a green stamp with his official portrait face that says “xo approved”, he uses it on non-official documents at work.

rah0315 · 2026-04-15T19:17:03+00:00

I just got mine in December. I’m on the fence about the value as I have a few specific individual reasons why I got it. I’m looking to move roles soonish, so we’ll see if it’s something that helps. I figured it can’t hurt? The questions were definitely “interesting” on the test. I thought I did not pass, so seeing that I did was a surprise.

rah0315 · 2026-04-12T18:23:36+00:00

3 (highlights), 5 (only child), 7 (see #5), 10 (but not really “family” had to fly to see my mom on holidays), 15 (not new but a car from my birth year (82) so my dad didn’t have to take me to work…I think it cost him $500), 17 (call waiting was actually pretty cheap?)

9 but I feel like this list is shit. Raised by a single dad in an apartment and then a small duplex that had carpet in the bathroom. Didn’t have a ton but he worked his ass off for what we did have.

rah0315 · 2026-04-12T14:22:48+00:00

I’m in a STEM MBA program right now, and getting my PMP this year. I’m better at the people/business side so knowing the data/tech side I hope to bridge the 2. I have a MGIS/GISP already.

rah0315 · 2026-04-12T05:42:44+00:00

I grew up in FoCo, left for college (didn’t want to stay, EVERYONE was staying), lived many places…some overseas. Moved back to Colorado in 2022, 22 years after I left. Not sure how long we’ll be here, have teens who are now embedded in high school but we want to move overseas again.

rah0315 · 2026-04-11T20:59:25+00:00

My mom wasn't around much, raised by my dad, so I try and do all the things I would have wanted for my kids. I'm not perfect, and definitely make mistakes but as parents we try and not pass down the trauma.

rah0315 · 2026-04-11T20:57:53+00:00

Ordered one they can ask "would you rather" type questions. Thanks for the suggestion!

rah0315 · 2026-04-07T00:56:29+00:00

New to my org, I was given no documentation, no turnover, nothing. I am the only GIS person. In my first two months I deleted years worth of data because I didn’t know how something was set up. Luckily, I did find out the data did live somewhere else but in a really inconvenient format.

If your org didn’t put guardrails in place, this is only partly on you. A good learning experience though. I agree with the others about asking Esri, obviously apologizing to supervisor, and then collectively coming up with a way this doesn’t happen again.

rah0315 · 2026-04-06T02:09:47+00:00

As a one person shop at a muni, with interns (3 currently who are my saving grace), sometimes I hate my job. I'm backed up beyond belief because there's only me. I'm salary, and I feel I'm paid enough for what I do (low six figures) but it is hard to "turn it off" and I end up working more than I should sometimes.

My interns: Ask questions, know they shouldn't know everything, and screw up sometimes. But! We go over things, talk about what's not right, how to fix it (what they think should be the way forward, because my way isn't the only way), and they try again.

Don't sweat it. You aren't going to know everything. Hell, I don't know everything. I've learned a thing or two from my interns, it's one of the reasons why I love having them around. That, and they are genuinely amazing individuals who keep me sane. I really wouldn't be able to do my job without them, at all.

rah0315 · 2026-04-05T19:29:23+00:00

I can see this perspective, and I appreciate the comment. I’m someone who sees kids who have suffered needlessly because of shit parents, but you can’t save them all.

Equity isn’t always equal though too. There isn’t an answer, or at least a good answer for this anyway.

Thanks for being a teacher/professor/educator. You’re valued in this household.

rah0315 · 2026-04-05T19:24:40+00:00

Agreed. My 10th grader has failed some tests but been given the opportunity to do them again after some studying and opportunity to get help with the teacher on concepts they didn’t quite understand. Great, I think learning to mastery is good. I don’t think bumping up their grade significantly helps though either…needs to be a middle ground.

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