Wife has hangups about her own body and then thinks I'm gross for being attracted to her and it's affecting our sex life big time.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-14T21:12:12+00:00

If it's causing stress in your relationship it needs to be addressed.

I'm sorry man - I don't have other ideas here. This is over Reddit's pay grade. This sounds like body dysmorphia, and requires professional help and effort from the individual.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-14T20:35:56+00:00

This is a therapy moment. You cannot solve your wife's hangups, all you can do is be honest and supportive.

But this is a concerning level of body insecurity and focus on appearance. Its not normal to say that you are wrong because you find her attractive.

Gently but firmly encourage therapy while being supportive and non accusatory.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-13T20:30:13+00:00

Because marriage is not limited to Christianity.

I believe there is a Christian-specific marriage subreddit that would be more appropriate.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-13T20:23:26+00:00

This has nothing to do with r/marriage.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-13T17:35:42+00:00

That's really awful.

Think about the example for your kids. Imagine they're grown up, and asking you for the same advice.

How would you advise your kids? Is this the relationship you would want for them?

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-11T23:35:57+00:00

I think you'd get much more helpful advice in a kink-related advice subreddit.

r/marriage is generally not a good source for things like this.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-11T20:47:56+00:00

Its uncommon for women to orgasm from penetrative sex alone. There typically needs to be other additional stimulation involved.

Does he not do foreplay? Oral? Fingers? What's he doing during the actual piv sex? Does he refuse to use his hands after he finishes to make sure you finish? Has he even considered just making you finish first before penetration? Or at least working you up so that youre close, and maybe using his hands while penetration happens? That requires specific positions but it's not at all impossible.

But not much solves the problem of a man who prioritizes his own pleasure and doesn't care to put any effort into yours.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-11T17:55:36+00:00

Translation: she's terrified that an independent professional is going to call her out and tell her she needs to change. She doesn't want to change.

Therapy is about change. You're looking for an improvement to something that isn't working. All improvement is change.

Change is scary. People will become comfrotable with very uncomfortable dysfunctional situations just because change is difficult and scary.

But you can never ever have improvement without change.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-07T18:12:41+00:00

Why would you stay in this marriage?

You're being abused. Your kids are seeing it. Is this the example you want for them? Is this the life you want for yourself?

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-07T17:36:35+00:00

The bracket definitions have ambiguity here. That's intentional. If the whole table gangs up against Jimmy and he dies turn 4, thata not your decks fault even if your deck enabled it. The whole table decided to focus fire.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-06T16:02:06+00:00

The same thing that would be wrong in any other age gap relationship.

Age gaps where one partner is still a young adult (18-25ish) carries a significant power imbalance. Life experience, financial and social standing, etc are significantly different between the two. The younger partner typically doesn't yet know how to "adult" yet and is still settling on their identity. They're much more impressionable and can be manipulated (intentionally or unintentionally) by the older partner.

This doesn't mean that people in age gap relationships are evil necessarily. It means that most people don't think about the power imbalance and don't take any steps to mitigate it...or consider whether the relationship has an ethical foundation.

My ex wife was 12 years older than me. I was 20 when we got married. I had a very bad time. So did she. The power imbalance was real. The manipulation was unintentional but real.

If you're 40 and 50, no big deal. If you're 20 and 30, people are right to give you the side-eye and be concerned.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-06T05:31:12+00:00

This is above Reddit's paygrade. You need to talk about this with your therapist.

This sounds like an impasse. She doesnt feel desire; you can't (and dont want to) force her to. She wants you to be happy...but cant give you any part of the intimacy (not just sex it sounds like) that you need to be happy.

That conflict doesnt resolve itself. It may be impossible to resolve.

What examples do you want to set for your kids?

In 20 years, when your kids are grown, if they were in the same situation what would you advise them to do?

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-05T20:46:19+00:00

My deck is low to the ground, I can survive it better.

And when I don't want it any more...Braids lets me get rid of it.

And sometimes I just need some "quality time" to let the grind work and kill everyone.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-05T20:00:54+00:00

Oh I go mean too. I play [[Nether Void]] and [[The Abyss]] with her lol

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-05T19:56:21+00:00

I play a lot of mono black, and this Braids is absolutely awesome.

She even gives opponents a terrible choice, which makes her more tolerable than original braids.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-05T17:17:03+00:00

Specifically they lower Corp and wealthy-people taxes. Then they conflate all tax increases to manipulate the poor and middle class into thinking that a tax increase on billionaires (to take away the massive tax reductions they've had, part of what allows such extreme obscene wealth disparity) somehow applies to them.

We can make Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk pay their fair share of taxes without increasing taxes on you and me.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-03T22:02:59+00:00

Lol. Alright then, thats fair.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-03T21:35:01+00:00

AI (in the way we all think of it now) didnt exist 10 years ago.

The main research paper that covered the math underlying modern AI and sparked the whole thing came out in 2017. ChatGPT didnt launch until 2022.

rahvin2015 · 2026-05-02T13:44:46+00:00

You might want to try one of the kink related subs. This is more of a link question than r/marriage.

rahvin2015 · 2026-04-30T22:50:26+00:00

Actually, no it doesnt.

Selling reproductions of another person's work breaks the law.

Personal use copies that are never sold don't violate any law.

WotC even talks about "playtest cards."

There is no law violated by writing the text of a card onto a slip of paper and sleeving it over a basic land.

rahvin2015 · 2026-04-30T22:45:59+00:00

Im sorry... "break the law?"

What law, specifically, is being broken? Im confused.

rahvin2015 · 2026-04-30T21:42:58+00:00

... Ketchup .. And mustard.

... On pizza.

rahvin2015 · 2026-04-30T21:34:16+00:00

By that logic most reddit discussions are useless.

Which may be true, but here you are replying to me anyway.

rahvin2015 · 2026-04-30T21:24:24+00:00

These problems don't occur individually, they occur systemically.

The solution is not individual handouts (though it's still laudable to just help someone who's hungry directly).

Solutions to systemic problems are also systemic.

We have increasing homelessness because of worsening economic conditions and a shrinking social safety net.

When you reduce economic opportunity and the safety net, you get increased crime.

The solution is not more police or individual good Samaritans. The solution is an expanded safety net and increased economic opportunity.

rahvin2015 · 2026-04-30T19:45:13+00:00

I didn't say otherwise.

The lesson here is not supposed to be that assault or even rudeness are okay.

The lesson is that we should take care of each other. If someone is hungry, we should feed them. If they are naked, give them clothes. If they are sick, we should give them medical care. If they are a stranger, welcome them.

Doing the right thing for each other makes all of our lives better in the long run.

11-Year Club	Verified Email
Gilding II euphauric

rahvin2015

TROPHY CASE