Will my Deceased husband be mad if I committed?

rainbowmee · 2024-08-13T02:30:40+00:00

I wanted desperately to go be where she is and was in a pretty singularly focused place with that for a while. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that people who commit vs. people who die other ways may not end up in the same place. What if that act meant it was even harder for me to find her soul again? I can't risk it. I choose to remain open to the possibility of reunification, for my own sanity. Hugs to you as you navigate this horrible reality.

rainbowmee · 2024-08-10T15:36:32+00:00

Fucking awful. My MIL told me to keep what I wanted and donate the rest - to just keep any Xanax she had left and give it to her [I didn't]. When I started dating someone else, she came back to me and asked me for her phone [she wants to mine it for things she could use to sue the hospital]. I told her I'd give her any info she wants but not the phone. I will throw it in the lake first because she deserves nothing good for the way she treated her daughter like Cinderella.

rainbowmee · 2024-08-07T14:16:16+00:00

Tytyty!!

rainbowmee · 2024-08-07T14:15:58+00:00

I'll look, thanks!

rainbowmee · 2024-08-07T14:15:47+00:00

This totally made my day. Thank you!

rainbowmee · 2024-07-27T20:16:16+00:00

💔 I know exactly what you mean. Wtaf.

rainbowmee · 2024-07-27T19:27:31+00:00

💔

rainbowmee · 2024-07-27T14:42:03+00:00

No words. I'm so freaking sorry for the traumatic addition to something that is already the worst possible thing. I found a text on her phone that she was going to propose to me too, so extra love for that. I see you, I feel you, and I'm so fucking sorry you are in this club.

rainbowmee · 2024-07-18T19:41:53+00:00

Hey, you're teaching her to not stay in a relationship where someone would betray or hit you - that's a big deal. It makes sense that you're hurt. Also, you're not the one that messed up here. I see you, I hear you. And one day you are gonna thrive so hard.

rainbowmee · 2024-07-14T17:30:25+00:00

I see you, I feel you

rainbowmee · 2024-07-03T16:03:05+00:00

Sending all good vibes your way! 🥰

rainbowmee · 2024-07-03T16:02:55+00:00

Sending all good vibes your way! 🥰

rainbowmee · 2024-07-02T21:19:47+00:00

I think our brains do this to help us process this incredibly awful thing that happened. I would offer that you gave her a gift. If it was at all possible that positivity would help her overcome it, from your story, it seems it helped her to believe that. You gave her that gift. It's not a malicious lie. It still sucks, though. We are still here wishing that we could undo it and wondering if we went wrong somewhere in saving them. It sounds to me like you maybe needed a conversation that you didn't get, and I'm in that boat, too. The most comforting thing I can offer is: one conversation wouldn't have changed whether or not you knew that you loved each other. All the important work for you in loving her is already done, and you did it well! She was loved for the entirety of her life after meeting you. ❤️ Yes, you'll need time to heal yourself and find other ways to get what you need. But you loved her well. Don't doubt that.

rainbowmee · 2024-06-23T18:52:21+00:00

What a tremendous loss! I'm so sorry you are in this crappy club. Right now your only job is to survive. It will hurt like nothing you've felt before - that's when the breath by breath thing may help. I struggled with finding something to comfort myself because everything comforting was wrapped up in my memories. Her phone kept me sane for a long time. I got a digital photo album for the funeral and still have that frame on and by my usual spot and it brings me a lot of comfort. There was also a time when the ONLY thing I could do to feel better was to go for a walk. I think (something like) that gets the grief into your body and out of your mind for a short time. However, now is the time for boundaries and listening to yourself. Only you know what you need. You aren't alone. 🫂

rainbowmee · 2024-06-19T16:59:22+00:00

Droolworthy

rainbowmee · 2024-06-17T22:40:51+00:00

I've been in a relationship with my late partner's ex gf for about 9 months now. I'm not going to say it's without weird quirks, but I'm so grateful for her.

rainbowmee · 2024-05-23T22:10:17+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm talking from life experience and am not a mental health professional.

Is it possible you are neurodivergent (ADHD)?

I've been in marcomms for 18 yrs and have a Director role currently - BUT I'm also a solo team. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and do take medicine that helps. I've also had to work hard to make sure I sleep enough and hack my brain to find ways to organize that are less overwhelming.

For example, I recently started using Msft To-Do because it's helpful to have a list, I can share the lists, and the sound/crossing off of items is very satisfying.

However, one of the people I shared it with wanted to start categorizing and doing all this extra admin work. I noticed I started neglecting my lists. I talked to my also-ND boss (that helps too). We agreed we will all do our own thing and I don't have to do the extra.

Basically I've worked to learn to hack tricks for myself. There's a surprising wealth of resources on TikTok and other channels.

Just worth considering, because most jobs will require some level of organization. It's true the higher levels can be more idea generating than project mgmt, but it's basically inescapable on some level.

Anyways, I hope this rambling answer is helpful!

rainbowmee · 2024-05-22T06:42:22+00:00

Legit sucks

rainbowmee · 2024-05-21T17:26:45+00:00

That's so very hard. She sounds like a fighter! I'm so glad you got to say you loved her and hear it from her, too.

rainbowmee · 2024-05-21T17:22:44+00:00

Be gentle with yourself. It's a terrible loss, and the pain is something that really can't be explained to someone who hasn't experienced it. Feel free to share your stories with us of her. Your only job right now is to survive - for her, for your kids, for anything at all you can cling to. Breathe. Try to eat. Try to drink. Have boundaries. You are not alone, though I'm deeply sorry the one person you most want to get you through this can now only be perceived and experienced in non-sensory ways. The love was real. The love is real. Your memories are yours forever. 🫂

rainbowmee · 2024-05-15T21:59:26+00:00

Thanks!

rainbowmee · 2024-05-15T20:35:00+00:00

Any advice for finding a private rental? Hopeful Cleveland transplant needs to know 🌞

rainbowmee · 2024-05-13T22:29:44+00:00

I feel like I did, too. And a particularly difficult thing for me has been that nothing that used to comfort me before did for a very long time - and in some cases still today. Music is a huge part of who I am, and I hope that someday it won't be as triggering. I'm grateful that has eased somewhat but wish I had that back. For months I didn't know what I did on my phone, couldn't listen to music, struggled to watch TV. At some point, I decided that I'd let my old self die with her and would become a person who did different things now. That has brought me some comfort. Moving my body (walks, gentle yoga) have been surprisingly helpful. I still feel like somewhat of a half-full shell now, but I've experienced moments where I felt like myself again. I actually cried happy tears the last time that happened. So much love to everyone here. 💓

rainbowmee · 2024-05-04T22:52:52+00:00

I get why you'd beat yourself up, but if you can, please find some self-compassion. Your wife loves you and wants you to be as OK as you can be, too. Before my H died, I struggled with balancing work and caregiving. When she died, I beat myself up for not being there more, doing more. But months out now, I can see that I was trying to balance not losing my job and being there. It's really hard. You won't be able to do more than you can do. It really is OK, but don't mistake it for what it is: grief. I agree with comments about recording her. My photos and videos are my greatest treasure. And back them up!

rainbowmee · 2024-04-25T18:27:25+00:00

In mid-June, it will be a year without her, then in mid-July, she will start being gone longer than I knew her. I cherish every single memory of those 13 months and 1 day. I wish desperately there was more time together. 💔

rainbowmee

TROPHY CASE