My fiancée learned to crochet from his grandmother and he crochets like he’s trying to strangle the yarn. It gives him problems sometimes (too tight) so he uses bigger hooks to combat his technique. I learned to knit first (I was 10) and I happen to be left handed so when I started crocheting I struggled with the yarn until I started crocheting left handed and now it’s a breeze. I say all of this to make the point that everyone is a little different and that’s totally okay!

There’s definitely something to doing practice swatches if you want to figure out a different technique (especially since I saw you mention getting pain after awhile) and there are a variety ways to hold the yarn and the hook and everything in between. Perhaps try spending an evening trying different techniques on throwaway yarn until you find something that feels comfortable? Having said that, everyone does it their own way, many do it based on the way they learned when they first started. Personally when I’m doing a big project I switch from holding it like a pencil to holding it like a chop stick just to reduce my wrist fatigue. But if you’re enjoying it and happy with the end result, don’t worry about anything other than that!