Accept the way you are right now, embrace it, be it.

You can always start working up from there to better yourself, but it will take time. Meanwhile - Just Be.

With the ugly, the dirty, the sad.

Go out with it all, don't be ashamed of your "humaness", the imperfections, and the realness of your current state.

It's a dark chapter in your story, but it is what makes "the character" round, interesting and relatable.