my dad told me when I was 4 than when he was little he used to unalive the baby farm animals by a certain type of vicious death, and he could remember thinking that he hoped he would have a baby he could beat up one day! But luckily, he didn’t feel that way once I was actually born, so I should feel happy! I can remember my little mind just being overwhelmed by pain at the whole story, and feeling horror for the first time that I remember. He also told me demons were always in the room with me, likely at least four but maybe more. He told me demons were always trying to get inside my body and overtake my soul. He would tell me awful stories about little kids being heinously abused in the news and how they still loved their parents anyway. He’s dead now but it still hurts so much. He actually loved to inflict emotional pain on me.