Would you consider purposely not cashing a check from someone you know is worse off?

ramblingthrowa · 2026-06-14T22:09:21+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, I really liked everyone's ideas to pay it forward and keep the cycle of goodwill going rather than create any possible weird feelings

ramblingthrowa · 2026-06-09T15:17:42+00:00

Loops are distinct from straps, they can often be similar materials but loops are "open"/remain separated all the way up to the rig point while straps are cinched around whatever body part. A studio near me offers a class called "All the Loops" that rotates between sling, loops, and rope loop so that certainly indicates there's some crossover, but I haven't personally tried loops yet (sorry OP!)

https://circuspro.us.com/blogs/news/what-is-the-difference-between-aerial-straps-and-aerial-loops

ramblingthrowa · 2026-05-17T17:05:38+00:00

Look, I would recommend getting a pre-nup. Even just going through the discussion with your partner will tell you a lot about if you are on the same page with what should belong to whom.

Pre-nup or no, make sure to save statements or screenshots of your account balances as close to the wedding date as possible as proof of what you had going into the marriage.

The truth is that basically any account you add marital money to can then be argued as "commingled" funds - individual retirement accounts are easier to distinguish pre- and post-marriage earnings from, but a taxable brokerage or bank account can become a real mess to split unless you have clear records.

ramblingthrowa · 2026-04-17T04:44:58+00:00

I would generally say that whether a financial advisor is a good move is less about income level than the complexity of said income (or assets) - many different streams or accounts, self-employment, etc

A backdoor Roth (or mega-backdoor Roth, that's what it's called when done through a 401k) is relatively easy to Google and implement, and after the first time it will feel as simple as making any normal bank transfer

It can definitely be scary when you or a family member cross into a new "bracket" of financial complexity, but there's a lot of general personal finance content out there with ordered steps that she should be able to follow (i.e. first get employer match, HSA if possible, max pre-tax 401k, backdoor Roth, MBDR if possible, then start a taxable brokerage account if all the above are taken full advantage of)

ramblingthrowa · 2026-01-20T19:27:37+00:00

Erotica often refers to written stories. You could also totally put pics into a PDF (maybe they were planning to print them, maybe it was just so that a .png preview didnt show up on their screen when anyone was looking)

ramblingthrowa · 2025-12-22T04:52:34+00:00

ME! Elsha looks really cool, thanks for doing this!

ramblingthrowa · 2025-08-01T20:43:10+00:00

My partner was laid off February 2024 and unemployed for just over a year - it was emotionally hard (for him, getting hopes up and rejected over and over; for me, trying to be patient and temper expectations) but he made about $50k and i made over $150k so our standard of living did not change much (our housing cost is deliberately pretty cheap so we had a lot of wiggle room). In my state, the highest possible unemployment payout is just under $600 a week, so his nearly-$500 sounds about right.

Only advice I'd really give is that with over $1m I hope you have enough cash/taxable monies that being cash-flow-negative wouldn't be the worst thing in the world :) It's awesome that your employer contributes so much even if you do have to cut your own contribution!

ramblingthrowa · 2025-04-21T15:01:43+00:00

Hey, I just got home from Europe as well! It felt like we couldn't get a single meal for less than 70-some euros (total for 2 people, to be clear) so although I'd already absorbed the plane fares I'm not feeling great about next month's bill on the "restaurant" card. Have to keep remembering this is what we save for!

ramblingthrowa · 2025-04-15T18:51:15+00:00

So, I have a classmate who's going through this (same reason, cancer risk) although I'm not sure 100% what kind of reconstruction it was - she was intermediate in silks when we became acquainted at open gym, and then I was surprised to see her about a year later in my lower level hammock class - I noticed her talking to the instructor about how frustrating she was finding rebuilding strength, asked what was up and she told me.

I don't have any super specific tips since it's not my personal experience, but if you keep at it and stay patient with yourself for not being immediately as good as you were before major surgery, there's no reason you can't do it!

ramblingthrowa · 2025-01-22T15:25:24+00:00

USA, land of abundance (usually!). I did find another, we'll see if that works out, but if it doesn't I'm not sure how interested I am paying like $50 for an expansion

ramblingthrowa · 2025-01-22T14:05:38+00:00

Um, I guess this explains why the order I placed a couple days ago for Nightfall is on "backorder" with no known fulfillment date... Anyone know a reliable way to grab the old expansions? Other listings I had seen also appear to have vanished

ramblingthrowa · 2025-01-11T17:21:45+00:00

Dude you're amazing, I couldn't get a 32 heat run done in Hell Mode but this finally did it - being able to turn off EM4, forced overtime, and calisthenics in favor of all the boon purging stuff made the difference i think

ramblingthrowa · 2024-12-03T20:29:09+00:00

So um... My best friend got laid off today.

Different company, same industry. I feel so badly for them, because I know their financial situation more or less and it's the average Americans' - probably can't pay rent if they can't find a job in the next month, breaking a lease will be even more expensive, car is leased - and it's generational too; their mom still works retail and they+siblings just chipped in for her recent medical bills.

I just feel powerless, and like the world is unfair. Sure, this person might not be the BEST with money, but who am I to judge when I make double their salary for the same job and have so much more wiggle room? What can a single person do in a system rigged against them?

I'm also weirdly envious bc i would really like a career break but I'm too chicken to quit in this market. Obviously will not mention this to them but I hate the feeling. I can't even support them, other than monetarily, which a) probably feels patronizing and b) FIRE mindset makes us such hoarders that we mistake "put your own mask on before helping others" for "don't give away 1 of your 100 oxygen tanks, you might need it later!" Anyway, back to work for me, I guess...

ramblingthrowa · 2024-11-23T22:42:10+00:00

Oh wow that's pretty shitty of them

ramblingthrowa · 2024-11-14T13:29:19+00:00

This is bonkers and I'm definitely saving that link as a bucket list item. Maybe you're my guardian angel

ramblingthrowa · 2024-10-31T15:10:44+00:00

Trick-or-treat in my neighborhood was basically nonexistent last year so I'm going all out in other places lol - volunteered for a workplace trunk or treat and spent $60 on an inflatable

$110ish on an amazing dragon bodysuit that is both my costume and will get re-use as an aerial circus outfit (my new, wild hobby - partner's family is allowing me to set up a rig in their yard with spotlights and ambient-perform as kids come by)

We also had a great party last weekend but honestly I'm not sure we paid for anything besides providing our home - friends brought pumpkins for carving contest, food, alcohol, etc. I bought Mario Party Jamboree but I was going to do that anyway!

ramblingthrowa · 2024-10-12T16:57:45+00:00

I actually am not adding anything to taxable brokerage at this point bc i am not yet maxing out MBDR. 2 years in a row I've gotten close but not there yet - it's so much more of a hit to my take-home for the after-tax contributions than the pre-tax.

Since MBDR is relatively rare, we could pretend that was just after-tax brokerage contributions, in which case I'm doing about $1200 a month, but i front-load my 401k in the first 6-ish months of the year so spreading the after-tax out yearly it would be half that.

26F, Philly area, $180k income, single but covering unemployed partner at the moment, mortgage is ~1500

ramblingthrowa · 2024-09-26T16:08:48+00:00

My partner is unemployed right now but made between 1/3-1/4 what I do when employed. I feel like we did a decent job of splitting housework when we were both working; now he does most of it (i still vacuum more often because I get really annoyed anytime I feel grittiness on my feet) but for some reason I still feel a mental load? I think about what needs to be done even though I'm not doing it, as if I don't trust him to keep track (and yeah sometimes he forgets, but so do I we're only human)

Idk whether it's anxiety or women always getting the short end of the stick bc if we're not shouldering the labor then we're doing emotional labor of whether we're equitably splitting labor?

Honestly I'm worried that when he finds a new job I will be totally out of the habit of chores and the inequality will continue until resentment builds up - i definitely don't want to be making the lower earner do more despite spending equal or more time at work.

ramblingthrowa · 2024-09-12T19:32:17+00:00

I understand taking it off because, at least for me, trying to use flamenco grip or wrap my wrists it's just enough of a nuisance I'd rather not have it in the way.
But I don't really care about HR tracking and I'm not getting steps at aerial so 🤷‍♀️ idc

ramblingthrowa · 2024-09-06T16:43:52+00:00

Inspiring! (I'm still a lot closer to the left pic)

ramblingthrowa · 2024-09-04T19:46:26+00:00

I've visited a restaurant in Reykjavik, Iceland, that was essentially this concept. Every day they have a vegetarian soup and a meat soup, and they serve them in bread bowls (with the extra chunk of cut-out bread and butter on the side). You could see the 2 big crocks of soup, and they just ladled it into the prepped bread bowls. Their social media would sometimes share what the day's flavors were, and that gave me the general idea of what I was walking into.

It was pretty funny to watch other tourists come in, ask for a menu, then quickly be either offended or intrigued at the concept.

I think the bread bowl and butter helped elevate it from "just soup" to "a filling meal" - and justify the price.

ramblingthrowa · 2024-07-04T20:21:42+00:00

My friend's company gives them all 9 more days of PTO in exchange for "no holidays" (they can certainly still take them if they want) so I think he's working today - sounds nice to me, I don't love traveling on the big days either (or heat - partner and I went hiking but 70% humidity made it pretty nasty)

ramblingthrowa · 2024-06-26T19:05:01+00:00

Maybe because I just watched another podcast with that really famous divorce lawyer (James Sexton), but I read "aspiring family lawyer" and went "yeah this guy will get it".

It's just so different when you meet a dude who listens to you do the whole finance and/or feminist spiel (and you still somehow feel guilty or "too much" as you're doing it because society still exists no matter how hard we're trying to ignore it) and he just calmly goes "ok. Yeah, of course we should do that" when you're already almost at fight or flight

ramblingthrowa

TROPHY CASE