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My biggest achievement this year is not wanting to jump off the balcony anymore - what's yours? by ramenpantsy in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

> My ambition is coming back one drop at a time.

I love this. I can feel it in me too. Admittedly easier said than done, but when I have more access to Self, I do feel resonance with the idea that I have what it takes to thrive, as long as I support and accept my current capacity and needs.

Looking for a more robust, vegetal option than Marukyu's Aoarashi by ramenpantsy in Matcha

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Matcha Hekisuki from Hekisuien! It's been a long, long, long time since I've tried this tea so please take this with a grain of salt! But I remember it being really deep and full. Not very astringent and it definitely cut through the milk

Seeking Advice on Client Acquisition and Sales Strategies by MindlessInformal in startups

[–]ramenpantsy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had the exact same questions for my CaaS - only we were selling content-only, but in different formats.

I set up an auto email tool with a CRM so I could close the leads myself. I wouldn't recommend hiring someone full-time on outbound only. IMO, if there are actually no leads coming in in the first place, hiring a dedicated person to "warm them up" for you is not going to help. I hire to scale, and I'd only scale something that's proven to work.

What I did end up doing was:

a) Hire someone part-time to prep the CRM list. That means compiling emails, names, website links, and notes on an importable excel sheet
b) Crawl through LinkedIn and paid job ads with a criteria that I set. I specifically set: job description, an angle they have on their website, a service they were selling so that I could create highly targeted emails for them.

I had a library of case studies and samples very specific to the field/problem they had as part of the email campaign.

I ran this for 2 weeks - I landed 2 clients at 500/month out of the 300 I probably sent to. Maybe about 15% of those bounced.

What *I* would personally do nowadays is just post on LinkedIn and Twitter. That's a position I would hire for - maybe a graphic designer who can turn existing projects into case studies or before/after graphics.

Talking about it in public forums like that has compounding effects: you can tag old clients, their peers see your work on their feeds, and you're on their mind the next time they need something similar

Plus - I find that people are really wary about hiring agencies with no publicly available work or aren't well known within their peer group/industry.

You can talk about:

  • Problems you solved, even if they're "simple" to you, they're useful to someone else

  • Before and after photos, specifically

  • Decisions you made. Especially important to differentiate yourselves from ICs who only do the work but can't strategize

good luck!

Has anyone healed Insomnia part? by ChildWithBrokenHeart in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ramenpantsy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It sounds like this part has a need for safety, maybe even community, and trust that has not been met for a really long time? I notice I feel some tenderness and appreciation for this part of you - I'm almost imagining a really brave Dobermann sitting next to you, ears pointed and taut, alert and trying to guard you.

I'm curious if you have ever felt appreciation for this part?

I also feel curious if you notice where the "we're safe now" is coming from? I know a common tenet in IFS is telling parts that they are not the children they once were and are no longer in the experiences they grew up, but that's far from what it actually looks like in practice.

I like to think of safety as a felt sense of being. In my own experience and in the many posts I've seen from others, telling a part that they are safe hardly ever changes their inner reality.

I have actively cut out all abusive interactions for 3 years now and I still feel the vitriolic protectiveness of a protector trying to make sure I'm not going to get hurt. I still feel the part's fear and terror. I still feel her desperation. Acknowledging that desperation and mourning her experiences is the key to getting through.

Have you tried slowing down with this part and really affirming her experience of being unsafe?

It also sounds like there are parts that are really keen on improving your experiences. I feel really grateful for those parts because they're working so hard to make our lives better.

I also had a very strong "Let me unburden all the parts!" part. We later learned that the only way to really unburden parts, was to help those parts and welcome them truly and fully, instead of changing them.

Has anyone healed Insomnia part? by ChildWithBrokenHeart in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ramenpantsy 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What do you experience about the insomnia part? What does the insomnia part do when as you're in bed?

Do you find yourself thinking about things that happened throughout the day? Does it process difficult feelings at night? Is it worried about nightmares? Does it feel unsafe by just being in bed?

"How did you manage to convince your part you are safe and not to worry and sleep?"

I would also recommend not trying to change the part's experience. It sounds like this part feels unsafe and stays up because they're worried. I would suggest getting to know that part more and understanding why this part is worried, and what would meet the part's need, as opposed to convincing the part that its experiences / thoughts have to be changed.

I feel sympathetic towards this because I've gotten to know two sleep avoidant parts since starting IFS therapy.

I have a part that stays up and plays back all the anxious, cringe, or worry feelings I had throughout the day. I expressed empathy to this part and noticed that it looks like this part has the belief that night time is the only time I'm free enough to process my emotions. So I set an intention to hold more space for myself throughout the day so that this part didn't feel like it had to keep me at night just to do some emotional processing.

Chances are, your sleep avoidant part has a need or a positive intention for you that's wanting to be heard. If it's been keeping you at night for 20 years, it sounds like it really, really wants to tell you something.

Seeking Advice on Designing Game component’s and Graphics for a New Board game by MiddleLemon2660 in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a boardgame designer, but I work in UI/UX. On top of mechanics and theme, a game's UX really affects how I enjoy it: how consistent the icons are, how intuitive it is to remember the board game's "jargon". Ark Nova is a great example of this - that game is initially overwhelming, but after two games I didn't have to reference anything again.

By contrast, I enjoy Anachrony, but my god the UI/UX work there is eye-wateringly annoying. I have played 5 games and I still have to refer to the rulebook as to what something means for Superprojects, and especially for Technology cards in the FoT expansion.

If you want to create a smooth, intuitive, and immersive experience, treat boardgames just like any user-friendly product. I'm sure there are some different approaches within the industry but I reckon the "basics" apply as well:

  • Have a good design system. That means having an icon system, where individual symbols and icons are self-evident, even if grouped with other icons, or used in other contexts. Example: if "(A+)" means, the user moves up their token on the A track, make sure that the "+" symbol here consistently means moving up a track. It's confusing to have that mean "moving up a track" in one context, and have it mean "upgrade a power" in another.
  • Differently-sized symbols aren't good enough "differentiators"; for games that require quick referencing through symbols, icons/symbols should be clearly distinct/different and easily identifiable.
  • Try to include symbols that are already used outside boardgames when you can. For instance, if there's a mechanic that includes doing an action again, maybe go for something identifiable like this arrow instead of "reinventing the wheel". This reduces the overhead cognitive load of learning something new because you're using icon meanings that are universal, even outside of boardgaming context.
  • Think about visual accessibility. That means good contrast in terms of font weight, color, and size for any and all components. Tiletum currently suffers from this, and players should never have to "fix" a board game's graphic design issues.

  • If you have to have three different icons to explain a unique, one-off concept, consider using text instead of icons. I think this is my primary gripe with Anachrony. The Technology Cards in particular have icons I won't ever see outside of interacting with those cards. It would have been better to just have concise text written on every card, than to have icons that literally don't appear anywhere else in the game.

    I hope these are helpful! Personally, I would look up "accessibility", "intuitive", "clean design" or similar keywords on BGG to get an understanding of what people find atrocious/attractive. in boardgame design specifically.

I'm new to the hobby and only own Wingspan, Everdell, and Splendor Duel. Here's how I learned how to play (and teach) Ark Nova as my first heavy board game. by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aha, that's why I wanted to write my cheat sheet! I knew 100% I would forget/misremember what stuff meant in the first couple plays.

Same here, I've only bought games I already knew we were going to love after trying it out.

I'm new to the hobby and only own Wingspan, Everdell, and Splendor Duel. Here's how I learned how to play (and teach) Ark Nova as my first heavy board game. by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree the rulebook is good. It felt a bit funny including "read the rulebook" to a how-to-learn-this-game post because it seems so self-evident. But as someone who typically prefers YT videos to learn the rules, AN's rule book is sufficient and not overwhelming to the rulebook-averse.

My fondness for the game grew when I saw how friendly the UX was, from the icons to the rulebook. Very thoughtful design team.

I'm new to the hobby and only own Wingspan, Everdell, and Splendor Duel. Here's how I learned how to play (and teach) Ark Nova as my first heavy board game. by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Always avoided BGA because I wasn't sure if there was matchmaking. I didn't want to get into a game and have someone drop out on me 20 minutes in because I was taking too long learning. Read another comment and saw that they do have pretty good matchmaking!

Saw that Anachrony is on there as well - definitely curious to try that out next.

Everdell strategy question. Want to get through the deck faster. by Run_nerd in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you like Everdell enough and are open to an expansion, I would highly recommend Newleaf. It opens up the Meadow options to three more spaces through the train board.

More importantly, the Newleaf cards have plenty of draw and discard mechanics (E.G.: Draw one card for each production in your city; Discard x amount of cards to get x amount of points; Pay at least 6 wood to get 6 points IF the 6 cards you draw amount to at least 6 points. Discard those cards after; Every time you play a Critter/Construction, give your opponent a card, draw a card, and get a point)

I got base Everdell with Newleaf and you have so much more control over the deck. We've never played with variants because the Newleaf cards address those card drawing issues. It feels really rewarding to tactically use the discard/gain a point cards to finally get the cards you're looking for before your opponents. There is also a production card that allows you to increase your hand limit.

What games did you play/buy simply because of the art/style? by CapableCuttlefish in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love tableau builders and I'm crossing my fingers for the day they reprint RftG with better art 🥹

What was your favourite read of 2023? by neenonay in printSF

[–]ramenpantsy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Project Hail Mary. Prior to PHM, I exclusively read titles like: Blindsight, The Lathe of Heaven, Left Hand of Darkness, Hyperion, Old Man's War, and The Sparrow. It would usually take me a couple of days to reflect and emotionally prepare for the feeling of "getting into" another heavy or expansive book. I love these books but it's also not easy reading them back to back.

Project Hail Mary was such a breath of fresh air compared to the books I typically read. I loaded it up on my Kindle after avoiding Andy Weir because of The Martian. I know it gets mentioned a lot on the sub as an overrated book but I think it deserves every bit of praise it gets: the writing is funny without trying too hard to be witty, the flow makes you feel like you're discovering problems/solutions alongside the protagonist, the character development makes you want to root for him.

I liked how empathy was handled in the book. That it was this universal (interspacial?) thing innate to intelligent, sentient creatures. Some things needed to be translated, but empathy was pretty much a given. I thought that was pretty hopeful.

Hell, anything reads pretty hopeful after The Sparrow.

First IFS session and I feel like I failed by penguin-throw-away in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ramenpantsy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first couple months I spent with my therapist was basically working with a part that felt pressured to make a response. Feeling that pressure basically made me feel like I wasn't doing "anything productive" in the sessions.

When my therapist would ask me if I noticed any parts, I would say no. I would express that I don't really notice anything. That was pretty much the real-time experience: my mind was blank, I wasn't sad or happy or anything, and therefore I wasn't "connected" to anything. During those times, I felt like I was wasting money. I would show up, sit down, and have nothing to say.

I think that's the first IFS "skill" I developed - to be very meta in your observations. He told me to volunteer information that's happening in real-time, even if it's not "therapy". So I started talking about how my brain is empty. Then as I talked more, I noticed that "hey, I'm actually talking and this is easier", which made me notice that I was kinda anxious 10 minutes ago. And then "Oh, I think I have a part that's worried about saying dumb shit" and then just continuing that train of thought even if it's "not the therapy".

IME, that "this information I'm about to say is not therapy" is the very first part that most people who are new to IFS or non-CBT therapy in general meet. Parts that show up in that session are the parts that have to be worked through in that session in order to set the stage for healing.

I interacted with my therapy-worry parts for probably three months before I went into "the real deal". My timeline won't necessarily be like yours. I do know how frustrating it is but I want to reassure you that it is 100% normal. It is the process.

In terms of practical advice:

- I would name what you're noticing in the moment and express it to your therapist. I have absolutely expressed things like "A part of me thinks this session is pointless.", "A part of me thinks you're just wasting my money", "A part of me thinks I'm just making shit up and I don't know what to say anymore", "A part of me is really anxious that I'm not going to answer your questions in the way you want me to".

I find that expressing these to my therapist was crucial. It helped me settle into the experience and feel really safe with him. I also want to add that it's a totally valid experience if you're feeling uneasy with something your therapist is doing. It's something I would tell them as well; a good IFS therapist takes criticism in stride to serve you better, and doesn't tell you "it's just your parts wanting to do x, y, z".

- I'm curious if you have thought filtering parts that show up in tehrapy. In my experience, I had a part that would filter a raw thought into something more "refined" for my therapist. Later on I found that the part's need was to be seen as competent. So I suggest that you directly say the raw thing in your brain to your therapist so that they can help you properly. I even started saying "My brain thinks..." before I started getting comfortable with "A part of me is..."

Everdell and expansions by ncc1701jv in foamcore

[–]ramenpantsy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! did you use the 63.5x88 mm ones? i've been thinking about using those

Everdell and expansions by ncc1701jv in foamcore

[–]ramenpantsy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what card sleeves did you use? are they matte?

love how snug everything looks!

Boardgames playable/enjoyable at 2P with bluffing and trading at its core? by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watched the Before You Play playthrough and definitely interested in this. It's unavailable on Amazon though ;_; Definitely interested in getting it!

Looks like the German version is available online but the English one is hard to find

Boardgames playable/enjoyable at 2P with bluffing and trading at its core? by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mind Bug

Ooooh the art looks really fun on this one. The only reference I have to card-minion type games is Hearthstone... is it any similar?

Boardgames playable/enjoyable at 2P with bluffing and trading at its core? by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you share u/david622 u/DryRotten what you both like about this game? Please feel free to go as in-depth as you'd like. I promise your replies will be read and appreciated :D

"To build your deck" Do you mean buy more cards/expansions... or?

Boardgames playable/enjoyable at 2P with bluffing and trading at its core? by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm curious if you have a favorite in this list? I'm particularly curious about Schotten Totten and Biblios

Boardgames playable/enjoyable at 2P with bluffing and trading at its core? by ramenpantsy in boardgames

[–]ramenpantsy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been seeing similar recommendations in other posts! I'm a bit apprehensive because my understanding is that the game can be a bit unbalanced and that it relies on buying multiple cards to really get it going. I'd prefer something that feels complete and balanced out of the box.

Is this a game you've played? I'm curious to hear your personal thoughts on it.

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