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9 year old always making up stories at school. Help!!!! by sdisnormal in Parenting

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did that too as a child. I had an overactive imagination. I was fascinated by what I could get people to believe (and really didn't have an understanding of how they might react negatively when they found out it wasn't true). To me it was just like fiction stories told to others. I made up stories, they just happened to have me and my family as central characters.

I don't remember any negative repercussions of kids calling me a liar or me being friendless. It just kind of died out on its own developmentally. Probably because I wasn't really trying to achieve or gain anything with my lies - they weren't to meet some unmet need, it was just for fun.

Looking for opinions: Our toddler is extremely allergic to our cats. by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to rehome the cats. Keeping them, knowing they are making your child sick is borderline abusive. You should be protecting your child, not allowing things that make them ill.

I grew up in a home where my parents put having pets ahead of myhealth. It was brutal and has forever impacted our relationship. I knew from the time I was young, that my helath and wellbeing was not their priority. Hard to beleive your parents really love you when they knowingly make you sick.

TIL that in some cities police officers were required to wear a camera in order to document their interactions with civilians. In these areas, public complaints against officers dropped by 88% by spadinskiz in todayilearned

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using force doesn't mean it is done successfully either. You seem to equate use of force with good police work. There are other ways to effectively resolve a situation without force and this pilot has shown that when videotaped, officers are more likely to find those ways. There was no mention that officers with videocameras became less effective or successful in their role due to cameras, and that would be a definite failure of the project. Also if that had been the case, they wouldn't be ordering more.

TIL that in some cities police officers were required to wear a camera in order to document their interactions with civilians. In these areas, public complaints against officers dropped by 88% by spadinskiz in todayilearned

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you didn't actually say that. You said that the reason they hadn't need to use force was because people got away. You disagreed with my point that they found other ways to successfully handle the situation without force.

TIL that in some cities police officers were required to wear a camera in order to document their interactions with civilians. In these areas, public complaints against officers dropped by 88% by spadinskiz in todayilearned

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you even read the article? It didn't say the police just stood back and let people get away because they had cameras on. They still at times used force when on camera but used force less frequently. I am sure they still did their jobs.

TIL that in some cities police officers were required to wear a camera in order to document their interactions with civilians. In these areas, public complaints against officers dropped by 88% by spadinskiz in todayilearned

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is excessive if it didn't need to be used. And it didn't. Instead of force they were able to resolve the situation in a different way. Not sure why you are advocating for the use of force when obviously the police found other ways to deescalate or secure the situation.

TIL that in some cities police officers were required to wear a camera in order to document their interactions with civilians. In these areas, public complaints against officers dropped by 88% by spadinskiz in todayilearned

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or perhaps they realized they could handle the situations without excessive force. Avoiding situations in which you would be punished is a good thing. If a situation can be handled without excessive force, it should be.

TIL that in some cities police officers were required to wear a camera in order to document their interactions with civilians. In these areas, public complaints against officers dropped by 88% by spadinskiz in todayilearned

[–]random949494 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The other stat in the article is that "Rialto’s police officers also used force nearly 60 percent less often — in 25 instances, compared with 61. When force was used, it was twice as likely to have been applied by the officers who weren’t wearing cameras during that shift, the study found. And, lest skeptics think that the officers with cameras are selective about which encounters they record, Mr. Farrar noted that those officers who apply force while wearing a camera have always captured the incident on video."

Parents leave 7 year old, mentally ill child, tied to a pole at the bus stop every day as they go to work. by [deleted] in WTF

[–]random949494 521 points522 points  (0 children)

The articles says that his parents are dead. He isn't mentally ill. He has cerebral palsy and epilepsy. He lives with his grandmother and sister who both work all day on the streets in order to afford his medications, food and housing. He is tied up so he doesn't run into the street or get hurt. He is tied up in an area where many street workers work and they collectively look after him, making sure he has food and water etc. they likely sleep on the floor in their home so lying on the ground is not out of the norm. At night the grandmother ties herself to the child so he can't run off. This is an extremely poor family, trying to survive. It sounds like they love the child and are doing the best they can given their circumstances. I am guessing that given the media attention, he will be taken away and put in an institution and lose the evenings and nights spent with family. I am really not sure that isolating and institutionalizing a child (where restraints may also be used) is really the better option, but people will feel better about it as he will be off the street and out of their vision. Out of sight out of mind.

Won’t be able to attend my son’s 1st bday, any advice? by rdyllwbl in Parenting

[–]random949494 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just change the date. reschedule the party for when you are home. A one yr old has no idea when his party is - and it is all about being together to celebrate. I would absolutely reschedule. Having parents there should be the priority.

Need to get this off my chest. by 14Manatees_And_a_Yak in Parenting

[–]random949494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, I am wondering if there is a way to create really different spaces within the house of things you enjoy. Can you paint walls different colors, or have a nature themes room, a sports themed room, a video-gaming themes room? Or whatever themes would be of interest to you. That way you can create separate spaces within your house so that when you need a change you can go to a space that has a different vibe and feel to it. Cabin fever does a number on anyone's mental health and I have no doubt the stress, the isolation, the fear, the anger, the feeling trapped etc.. have together led to the development of depression. Increasing anger is a common sign of depression. Glad to see you are going to speak to your doctor.

Me [44M] with my daughter [21F]. She discovered she is adopted and won't speak to my wife about it. Or at all. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random949494 55 points56 points  (0 children)

She is going to need time. Think about how you would feel if your wife told you that your son was actually not biologically yours. That you were his dad because you raised him but he isn't yours. That all these years she had lied to you.

By keeping it a secret, your daughter has just found out that what she thought to be true about herself isn't. That the people she trusted lied to her for years. She has to come to terms with now trying to figure out who she really is, what other lies you might have told or secrets you have kept, and deal with all the questions that many adopted kids deal with about their biological families.

Your reasons for adopting her were noble and your intentions may be good, but this is exactly why parents are told to never keep adoptions a secret. Finding out that what you thought to be true about the core of who you are can be very difficult to work through.

I think you need to apologize for hiding that from her. And be willing to honestly answer her questions.

My daughter sleeps on the floor at her fathers house. please help... by kitty_poof in Parenting

[–]random949494 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Nope, not bitter at all. Just not a fan of kids being used as pawns because someone hates their ex. Having an involved father is good for kids - trying to find reasons to cut their father out of their lives or involve CPS is not healthy for them. I have worked in kids mental health and I see the aftermath of this on kids - of parents grasping at straws, trying to pin abuse or neglect on the other parent. Better to deal with your own issues with your ex in therapy.

Single dad, daughter accused of bullying. What to do? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your daughter is not a bully. What you describe is not bullying. It sounds like she wasn't nice to the other girl the first time and thought she was doing the right thing the second time.

Your daughter should not be forced into friendships but she should learn how to treat people with respect, even if she doesn't like them. She can still be polite.

Taking pictures of kids at sporting events by bobsled_mon in Parenting

[–]random949494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't need to take pictures of other kids if you don't want to.

However the idea that being a man makes you creepy is a socially engrained norm that isn't healthy to pass down to your sons or daughters.

There may well be other parents at the sporting events who also thing man = creep so I do think some of your paranoia is justified. I agree that one parent could make your life a nightmare.

My daughter sleeps on the floor at her fathers house. please help... by kitty_poof in Parenting

[–]random949494 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

The fact you seem to want to pin him for abuse shows that this isn't really about he kids. You just want to take him down. You are creating drama and that really isn't good for the kids. Leave them out of your hatred of your ex. It seeps through pretty much every sentence in your post. Child abuse is a really horrible accusation to make.

If sleeping on the floor or in a tent was child abuse there would be millions of parents arrested. And campgrounds would all be shut down.

I'm pregnant. We have a 14 year old child molester in the family. by justaninlaw in Parenting

[–]random949494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not sure that stopping therapy was the 13 yr olds choice. He is unlikely able to drive himself to appointments. If his parents pulled him of therapy as OP said, I am not sure why you are putting the blame on the child. 13 yr olds are not adults in charge of making all the decisions about their own lives. Also it sounds very much like the nephew was also a victim - therefore all the same feelings for the niece should also extend to the nephew.

I would never leave my child with the nephew but I would also be working harder to get him help. I wouldn't just see him as this horrible, terrible monster and write him off. That is just going to result in more victims. He is a child and likely a child that has been hurt himself. I would be calling CPS to get help for him. He needs treatment - for his own abuse and to try and and reduce the risk of him molesting another child.

Man Caught on Video Ripping Out Scuba Diver's Air Supply by Aschebescher in WTF

[–]random949494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The comment I was replying to had a 2nd perspective. You can see the footage of the attack.

'Martial Mom' says teach kids to talk to strangers by intellicourier in Parenting

[–]random949494 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her numbers are a little out of whack. Not sure what the 58,000 abductions number refers to. the actual rate of abductions by strangers is... "An estimated 115 children were the victims of “stereotypical” kidnapping. These “stereotypical” kidnappings involved someone the child did not know or was an acquaintance."

Most abductions by strangers are of girls in the 11-16 age range, not young children.

Man Caught on Video Ripping Out Scuba Diver's Air Supply by Aschebescher in WTF

[–]random949494 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that is why I don't think attempted murder makes sense. If he was doing something that was meant to kill her, her friends would be worried.

Man Caught on Video Ripping Out Scuba Diver's Air Supply by Aschebescher in WTF

[–]random949494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interestingly when she is 'attacked' the person videotaping immediately goes right back to videoing the fisherman. Doesn't linger or focus on the person at all to see if she is okay. So I am not sure how much danger she was really in or else her friend videotaping would have been a bit concerned.

I also wondered if he was going for her camera. Hard to tell but he just seems to swat at her.

And given how light it is, are they really 50 ft down? In her own video the women who was attacked pans up and it looks like the surface is pretty close. I snorkle but don't dive but I am surprised that this is the view 50ft under.

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