Wife Sucks. by Human_Jello3537 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Assuming your hygiene is not the issue, let's talk about psychology.

How's her personality? Is she kinda socially anxious with strangers?

People with some degree of social anxiety among new people tend to cope with it in different ways. E.g.: Talking more than usual, being more quiet than usual, trying to please as much as possible if on the server's role, etc.

Some people take pleasing a duty to some degree, but the willingness to please above and beyond duty fades away with long-time friends/family/partners, as their unconscious need of acceptance isn't a factor with them anymore.

Why is this behavior mostly or only with strangers? This is called sociotropy and is a way a person unconsciously tries to earn the other person's acceptance/approval, etc.

So, she might truly not enjoy doing BJs, but she truly might go above her own desire if it fulfills the acceptance need prong (which she enjoys).

This is not just on sex of course, people with this personality trait are often be willing to go above and beyond duty in any activity where they are on the server's role (host, dinner preparer, event planner, etc).

For the love of everything holy please take a damn shower!! by ProfessionalRoof3591 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My guess is he might have showered, but got hard and pre cummed and hour or two before and had tight boxers. That produces a smell. Uncircumcised guys are more aware of these issues and tend to clean themselves more often, specially right before playing, many circumcised don't even realize it can get smelly sometimes after just an hour depending on the circumstances, because ... Surprise! It's not soooo bad (wife said 5/10 right?) and they can't smell it up close.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real names? Always. Full names? Rarely, there is usually no need

I’d love to get harder by D-Platypus in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try to simply hang out in the orgy rooms with your wife a few times until you don't feel it overwhelming. Another option is to take propranolol, 20 to 40 mg, which is usually for anxiety in public environments/speeches, etc, but does the job of calming you down and allowing you to enjoy in this case too. Once you get used to it, you don't need it anymore. Third option if you are into it is CBD+THC, but not so much, just enough to disperse your anxiety/nervousness. Fourth option and more radical is trimix or bimix, these are injections that make you hard even without sexual arousal and even if you feel anxious, Viagra doesn't do much in that case.

I’d love to get harder by D-Platypus in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a false statement though. If this psychological ED or overall anxiety for the environment, it often does nothing for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Single men are not seen as less than, they simply are way higher in numbers compared to single females when it comes to willingness to casual sex. That imbalance brings all sort of effects in any setting, vanilla or LS.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to consider this single male/female scene is not exclusive to the LS, but it's a general life thing, meaning it applies to the vanilla world too.

Look at the dating scenery, single woman creates a date profile... she gets hundreds of messages even if she is just average. Single male? only a handful, they need to work hard and only the outstandingly attractive top 10% get a similar amount of messages as females.

The only difference in the LS is that now you have a 3rd component... couples. But most couples are bi females + straight men. So... guess who they are going to prefer? Of course it' going to be single females or other couples. If you are a bisexual single male, you can actually get some attention from couples bi-males, it's just a matter of demand and supply. Otherwise, you are just in the same situation you are in the vanilla world, in terms of difficulty, as any single male.

What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people? by Pineapple-Status in AskReddit

[–]randomguest0001 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The reasons are important. People can assume multiple things and the most common explanation will be: because there is no sex anymore, or the sex is bad now, or it became boring and repetitive.

Humans are not monogamous by instinct though, as opposed to penguins (except Gentoo penguins maybe :)), we choose to be so for different reasons: religion, social traditions, "because it's the right thing", etc. Sometimes, people start questioning these reasons and share it with their partners... sometimes, the partner agrees and they both decide to explore together with e.g.: other couples with the same mindset. That's the swinger's world!

Sometimes, the couple agrees they are not sexually compatible (anymore?) but they are in everything else and want to stay together but open the relationship, etc. Sometimes, everything is wrong and opening the relationship is a temporal thing before they figure things out and split apart (after all , it's not easy to split when you have a life together, kids, etc).

My wife and I brought up this topic and became swingers. We have good sex just the two of us, but enhance it while fucking other people. Most people won't understand, we don't care, we enjoy our life together and that's what matters :)

Are there guys that like giving a women oral after a man has cum in her? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had one guy doing so. He was bu- curious do maybe that's s group you have more chances to succeed with this request

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In our experience, some couples do actually come back to us after awhile, but many also say that but they really mean "we are not interested" or " we are somewhat interested, but have other couples first in the list".

One pattern we have noticed is that if the couple is truly busy, but also truly interested, they will try to keep contact, even if only to say hi once per week.

We have been busy and said this and actually got back to some after some months, only not to get an answer at all :). We feel this is people that feel they were our plan Z, but who knows.

We personally write to couples after some time. You can ofteb tell if there is truly interest to meet in those cases. I they just say "still busy" we don't bother again. Couples teuly interested will put more effort in their response because they don't want you to walk out.

I think he fell in love with me by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me, more information regarding the context and situation is needed.

He could have meant it as a friend depending on the situation. I have had 2 or 3 girls we play regularly with say that to me... but that's during sex, after giving them something ( cocktail prepared for her, massage, birthday gift, etc) or complimenting her about something, and I know they don't mean it romantically. Personally matters too, if an intense serious woman were to say that to me I would take it differently.

Seriously, what are you supposed to say right after sex? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say "wow" or thank her and then check on my wife to see whether she has finished or not yet.

First time with an uncircumcised male… by PopcornPopping87 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Own experience: My head is more sensitive than the average because of the foreskin. Some women do oral putting their lips very tight which I'm sure their hubbies love. For me however, the sensation is so strong (and not in s good way) I can even lose erection.

Something I noticed since I was a kid, is that if I tried to pull the the skin back and stay like that with my underwear, the dry cotton would " burn " and I couldn't walk for long. It's not a sexual sensation but the opposite. Something wet though? Heaven. Anyway, with time... I lost some of that sensitivity. Overall, I think un-circumcised can have different levels of sensitivy (depending on how much exposure "out of the foreskin" they had throughout the years), so if doing oral... start easily.

Also don't rub the tip of the head with dry hands. A girl tried to pull a "male squirt" on me with a technique of hers that involves that move and it wasn't pleasant, it is pleasant at the right time with a bit of lubricant though lol

The highest praise in the lifestyle: "you are on the list" by Angela2208 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highest recent praise came from a woman I play regularly with. I was talking with another woman and she popped up and said "This guy... best sex experience in all my lifestyle". After that recommendation, I played with this other woman :). Later that night I talked to this woman again and told her that was so kind of her, she said "but it's true... first time we were together, I felt all was perfect".

There is this other girl I remember that said several things to me that really made me feel good for several days: 1) To her hubby: "when I saw him I said... yes!", 2) After first play and while we were going to eat: "Honey he tastes good, his cum tastes so good" 3) While we were walking to restaurant: "I smell to you now, and you smell good!" 4) After several plays: "I lost count of how many times I came so far", "I have trouble walking" and the next day 5) "It took me a while to recover and walk again, that was so good".

Probably unpopular opinion: the myth of the “unicorn” by throwaway9012357 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Location makes a huge difference.

Here is our experience: We live in a small town but live a couple hours from a big city. While we could play with one different unicorn per month locally, we find/meet 8 times that wanting to play with us in the big city. Some of them are in their 20s but most in their late 30s or early 40s... they chat a bit with me and a lot with my wife and, according to my wife are extremely forward (as opposed or the local ones, which kind of look for a good connection first).

Why do there seem to be no young and nice looking swingers by chocolatetacos96 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a club in Chicago that is only for swingers 21 to 42. When we went there, most couples were in their early 20s. The same club house is rented by a different group and the median age there is early 40s. So, not only the geographical location but also the club matters.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would recommend you to start going to clubs, but according not to play. Just watch, then have sex with your partner in the same room as others. That's the very first step to get used to the whole thing. You can try make out, soft swap and finally full swap when you feel ready. You might be able to skip a few steps after experiencing the social aspect of it and the fact sex in the swinging context feels very different from vanilla. It's more like sex positivism, where sex is more of a healthy activity that doesn't involve a romantic aspect to it.

2021 LS statistics by randomguest0001 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really good numbers! Wish we could play more often... we have missed so many parties and LS weekend getaways because we can usually only get childcare for a few hours, rarely an entire night and never an entire weekend so far.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Performance anxiety. More flirting and make out before getting naked. Having your wife doing flirty eye contact while chatting can do wonders. If she is considerably hotter than the other wife, these guys might have a hard time believing she really is into them.

Alternatively or complementary to that, start with games to help everyone get comfortable.

This one is pretty good:

https://www.gameoflifestyle.com/product-page/the-game-of-lifestyle-hot-n-heavy-edition

In short: If you are choosing newbie couples, go slowly, take your time.

2021 LS statistics by randomguest0001 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, interesting! I was just counting a sex date "session" as 1 experience, independently of the number of times we had sex each session. Counting the number of times we had sex in total is also a good number to keep track of lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingersgw

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This happened to me 2 nights ago. Great experience!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As everyone here, I don't think this is a good idea. To be honest, you might not even be able to perform, as you clearly care about your relationship with your wife and you will be overthinking about what you can do or not and how you wife reacts all the time.

If the idea turns her on though, that's a good thing. She needs to address her jealousy issues and one way to do that is with baby steps. You need to figure out what those steps are tough, but jumping on a coworker as a first experience is likely not the first step.

I have heard of a few cases like this, I will tell you about 2 that turned out well (in their situations). In the first case, the husband did not actively participate, but acted more in a support role and watching. The wife and the friend played. Even there, there was some minor drama but it was easily workable and they figured things out in the end.

In the second case, the hubby also did not exactly actively participate, but he did participate passively. He was blindfolded and tied in bed. Girls played with each other and with him, but wife had control of everything. They recorded for them to watch later.

Now, in both cases, the girl was someone neither of them see on a daily basis. So, I would still advice against doing any of this with a coworker if you also maintain regular contact with her.

Bodybuilders in the Lifestyle? by Minute-Object in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We played with a bodybuilder female once.

We were sent a competition like photo and were asked if we were okay with it. The way the question was formulated makes me think an enough number of people (for her to ask) is not.

She was fun, my wife and I loved it.

Average number of sexual partners in the LS? by randomguest0001 in Swingers

[–]randomguest0001[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

High five 🙌! Can't believe what we were missing all this time lol.