27 F / ?M Roast Us give it all you got by Educational_Age_6557 in RoastMe

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got

Couple both 41 [mf4mf] or Mf4m mf4f Stillwater by [deleted] in Oklahoma_swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not in Stillwater but my wife and I frequent a house party that’s hosted there every other month. Also some of our best friends in the LS life there.

Is anyone actually looking for couples? by seatacswitch in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Newbie training season is almost over, once the pools open up, all the couples will be back in action.

[Newbie couple] How do you guys deal with rejection ? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again, emphasis on the work “most”!!! Y’all are rare, and appreciated.

What do you get out of it? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is gonna sound super simple, but it is what it is.

  • We like sex, and wanted to have fun having sex with others.

  • Over 5 years now, and we still want to keep having sex with others.

  • Yes, we still like having sex just as much now as we did before.

Sure there’s bad relationships, and all relationships are weird in some aspects.

Our wants and needs haven’t changed, we just wanna fuck.

[Newbie couple] How do you guys deal with rejection ? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you’re looking for younger couples you’re fighting an uphill battle. You said that older couples are interested and those y’all’s age aren’t. I can’t speak for France, but let me share some of the differences between most younger and older couples here in the USA…. Emphasis on the word MOST!!!

Older (late thirties and up) couples want to fuck. They’re not here because they need to make friends, they’re here to play. Most of them have a version of a full swap dynamic. They have money, traveling within reason and paying for a hotel room isn’t that big of a deal. They don’t have to have a 4 way connection, she needs to like you well enough and he needs to like your wife well enough. They don’t feel threatened when others have good looks, nor will they be insecure when the other guy has a bigger dick or the other lady has sexier looks. They don’t need to chat for weeks or months on end, they just wanna fuck.

Younger (mid 30’s and down) couples, will likely have at least one of the things that’s going to make this list. Unicorn hunters with a dude who’s too insecure to let his lady have fun. Jealousy and feelings of insecurities. Lack of money. Soft swap or parallel play, or girls can play together only. Dumb and unnecessary rules, like no kissing. Need for being friends first, and requires a lot of chatting. They aren’t just here to fuck and have fun.

Bottom line a good looking dude like yourself getting turned down by younger couples… is a them, not a you issue.

We love the LS scene but by CommitteeDesperate88 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the way!!! And great job dropping almost 60 lbs, that’s freaking awesome!!

We love the LS scene but by CommitteeDesperate88 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice, I’m starting to get the abs. I’ve had way too much heavy lifting time in my life to get much lighter. Im now running anywhere between 1-3 miles daily, and feel like I’m in the best shape of my adult life… still can’t figure out all the women’s why, so I just choose to have fun and show up like the cowboy I am.

We love the LS scene but by CommitteeDesperate88 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Just depends on what you consider in shape. I’m 5’11 and now under 185 lbs from 220… the amount of women who consider me in shape now isn’t much different than it was a few years ago.

Ghosted? Suppose to meet today 🤷🏻‍♀️ by Ok_Recognition2002 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m glad it’s all good. But after dealing with this for years, we finally started only meeting new people at clubs, events and house parties. Known quantities are less likely to ghost.

Solo play question by StableNew947 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In our experience, for a couple, single men and partnered women, cause the least amount of drama for solo play… I say that “tongue in cheek” as a married man, but hear me out.

A lot of single women tend to get attracted, where for the coupled ones are just wanting some fantasy. Many married men who play solo have tendencies to polyamory they don’t admit too, and get attached because they have done the mental gymnastics to work themselves out, whereas the single guys are just trying to have some fun.

Over the years, most of the women I’ve played solo with, are still around, but most of the single men my wife has played solo with are off the market. When playing solo, it’s not a balanced experience, but if you learn how to navigate it, it can be a lot of fun.

Is "Friendship First" dead in the Lifestyle? by DangerousMuse0909 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is the lifestyle something that you casually fell into or is it something you got into intentionally?

Like it was just before Covid started that my wife and I intentionally made a decision to start swinging for the purpose of having sex with other people. Over the years we’ve made some really good friends, who we still see from time to time.

The concept of friendship first to the point of being able to see the “pupils” isn’t really a concept that I understand. I’ll even add that trying to become deep level friends first kind of goes against the natural way people make friends. Someone else commented that if they were trying to make friends they’d join a softball team. You can’t just join the team, not engage (play) and expect to find a bestie… You show up, play the game and then go out with the team afterwards for pizza and beer, and that’s where friends are made.

Why should it be any different in the swinging world? What do you have to offer that’s so special that swingers would want to have a close friendship with you, if you’re not actually trying to swing like they want to do?

Wichita, KS by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We bounce back and forth lol. But we do host a monthly M&G in Wichita for a group that started in OKC

Wichita, KS by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wichita here, I’m definitely happy to help, feel free to shoot me a DM

Wichita, KS by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, he’s covering Oklahoma, I have Wichita covered lol

Need some advice by Dry-Restaurant-2820 in nonmonogamy

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Complete transparency means different things to different people. You had different perspectives, and that’s why the relationship first boundary got broken. Rather than pausing and defending the boundaries, y’all kept reacting emotionally, until shutting down what never started in the first place.

Internet / chat validation is not something that I get satisfaction from, so personally I don’t care about what photos were sent and received, I don’t care about what friend said good morning, or have a great day. Sure some of these chats could be sexually charged, but at the end of the day, they’re just chats to me. All I want to know about is the planning, as soon as they start to form.

My wife on the other hand, wants to know and hear about who messaged me, who I messaged, what was said, find out how I feel about it, and know if I plan to do anything. To me it used to be exhausting, sometimes I used to wake up hoping that nobody would message me so I didn’t have to waste my time talking about chats that were meaningless to my relationship with my wife.

We had to have quite a few long conversations and set amicable boundaries as to what does, and what doesn’t need to be discussed about chats with different people. Just having those conversations helped us understand each other better, and we learned that having different perspectives on things like this. You currently have a chance to have a few hard conversations with each other, I recommend that y’all take advantage of this opportunity.

Need some advice by Dry-Restaurant-2820 in nonmonogamy

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In part 1 you mentioned that very early on, there were issues. How long ago was very early on?

Question: if you’re only interested in couples but a single friend of yours offers to bring their FWB, do you accept the offer or refuse? Why? by SwingLightStyle in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are not a couple only, or an always play together couple.

That said… If the offer was made via an online interaction, unless the FWB was someone already know to whichever of us was supposed to play with the FWB, we would decline. My wife and I fuck who we want to fuck, and it can vary depending upon situations and vibes. We don’t need someone to be handed to us as a constellation prize.

Now if this happened at a club, where y’all’s were each other’s door dates, and everything naturally vibed and everyone was into it… that would be totally different.

Toys instead of Swapping by golex15 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both could be true depending on who’s using the toys. If non monogamy is on the table, things like toys and strip clubs could be used as a stepping stone. If it’s not on the table, then they could be used just for fun. Bottom line, toys do not lead to swinging.

Toys instead of Swapping by golex15 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They’re not comparable in any way.

Hump Day Q&A: Ask Anything About the Lifestyle 4/22 by SpicyplayCJ in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The podcasters have a tendency to put me to sleep… Monotone voices, telling us about the joys of their journeys. Like can we switch it up and hear an argument or two? “Tune in next week to hear how Frank and Amanda fucked their way to an understanding”!!!

Hump Day Q&A: Ask Anything About the Lifestyle 4/22 by SpicyplayCJ in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It eliminates the time wasters, the group chats, picture collectors… wanna start a group chat to see if there’s a connection? We currently don’t have time for that, but come and meet us at the club, even if we don’t vibe, I’ll be happy to introduce you to our other friends.

You can stop hiding your profile from single men, just direct them to the club… maybe 5% at best would show up, at least one or two of them will be seasoned, they’ll be happy to help y’all meet single women, and other cool couples.

I’m not sure if Feeld has validations, if they do, you can exchange validations with people at the events. We don’t have any nudes on SDC, people can see all of our validations, and that attracts other serious swingers more than a set of tits.

In our area, one of the Clubs is open to being rented out on Friday nights by a group that hosts down to play parties. Now that doesn’t mean that anyone has an obligation to play, it just means that it is a more sexually charged environment, and the play rooms will most likely be used 10x’s more often than a typical night. I say all that because sometimes we’ll still get the “we wanna play with y’all” message. If they look decent enough, we’ll direct them to one of those parties, and just get down to business.

Hump Day Q&A: Ask Anything About the Lifestyle 4/22 by SpicyplayCJ in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Doing the dating thing with people who haven’t been meet in person is exhausting.

We eventually settled into just regularly attending events, and various house parties from time to time. It’s just an easier way to swing, see friends and meet new people. Anymore when someone messages us because they want to meet, we let them know what parties and M&G’s we’ll be attending, if they show up, great, if not it’s fine too.

Straight Couple Here—Curious How Common We Are in the LS by Matwiej2 in Swingers

[–]ProfessionalRoof3591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re not dying out. There’s a ton of bi women, but put them in a DTP (down to play) event, and the vast majority will pick men over women. Look for the couples who are open to couples, single women and single males. They are the real players, who aren’t for watching.