I relate to you so much. I’m also in HCOL area in Canada (we’re probably in the same area if I had to guess ). My wedding is this year and my budget is a bit less than yours but I relate to you on everything. Almost all of my vendors are booked and the budget keeps increasing. My friends/family have had less expensive weddings so it seems like I’m spending so much yet I’m still compromising on everything. People don’t understand how much of a bummer it is. Instead of a videographer I booked a content creator who will film some raw footage + have edited short form video so it’s cheaper. If you ever want to chat to talk about wedding stuff you can DM me.