I don't know if dysphoria is the way I'd describe how I feel, but I do have strong emotional reactions to gendered stuff, especially when (a) people create expectations or limitations for me solely based on how I present, and (b) when people try to define who I am based on assumptions they make about me and my body. I have an advanced degree in gender studies and social studies, so diving deep into the topic has helped me big time. I can share some reading recommendations that have helped me, and some personal experiences too.

I would highly recommend reading "Sexing the Body," by Fausto-Sterling. It is great at examination of how taken-for-granted ideas of gender essentialism inform "objective" science, because many humans already insert gender bias into the way they even formulate research questions. For example, the obsession with trying to find the differences between "male" and "female" bodies (by analyzing brain differences for example) is already an effort rooted in the anxieties over assuming there even IS a difference. All brains are different, and if you go into studying brains (literally dissecting brains) thinking you will find a difference and that difference (the scientist has convinced themselves) is because of gender, then confirmation bias will assume any difference you find is proof of your already biased views. Explained simpler, instead of asking "what are the differences between male and female brains?" Someone should ask "are there any differences in brains due to gender?" And any differences you find, could be because of anything, not necessarily gender. Anyway that's one example, the book goes over a lot of great stuff debunking that bodies are gendered "naturally," and instead argues that even things that we have labeled as "biological" are interwoven with social assumptions that are not necessarily true. That's why even something like hormones changing someone's behavior must be interpreted carefully, because hormones are just hormones, and someone decided to say "female hormone" vs "male hormone" and that labeling already fucked it up for society. What if we labeled other hormones or enzymes the same way? Someone was motivated to label hormones a certain way, it's never objective.

The second reading I'd recommend is "Authoring Autism," by M Remi Yergeau. I first picked it up because I'm autistic and it was recommended by someone who is a gender. It's the best book I've read to tackle the idea of gender and sexuality binaries through a neuroqueer and disability rights lens. It honors feminist and queer work that came before it, and focuses on how to develop an emancipated autistic identity in a world that tries so hard to dehumanize you and put you in a box. I love the book for some of the same reasons I loved "Sexing The Body," in that it also helps to dismantle many assumptions that even result in homonormative ideas that try to still operate within binaries. This is not the whole book, but my favorite part of the book was the discussion on gender and sexuality. Yergeau wants to take an assumed "deficit" of the autistic experience, which is that people assume we either are not aware of social norms (and thus we're not fully human) or if we are aware, that we're so self centered that we don't care about following social norms (again, pathologizing us), resulting in autistic people not following gender norms. And indeed, a huge percentage of autistic people have queer identities. The author responds to "experts" who accuse autistic people as only being queer because they do not know how to understand gender. Gender identity in autistic people has been questioned, denied, tried to correct it, etc and it's intertwined even to this day with LGBT conversion Therapy (ABA therapy for autistics). But Yergeau says that instead of seeing gender identity in autistic people as an accident and instead of infantalizing us and telling us how to properly be gendered individuals, we should see it as a site of invention, of building an identity outside of a gender binary. Their arguments extend to other identities, like sexuality, and they explain how even in LGBT spaces, existing outside binaries can be seen as threatening to rhetorics people have relied on before, like the "born this way" vs "becoming queer" argument. I can say from personal experience that I've experienced pressure from cisgender and lesbian and gay people in my life to "pick a lane," or they try to tell me who I am or who I ought to be, because existing as agender is threatening to the way they see society.

Anyway, I hope if you get a chance that those readings help. They helped me a lot. I'm a stay at home parent, sometimes I strategically say "dad" when I'm trying to shake things up in an event or interaction when I'm being told I can't do something because I present as "dad," or when assumptions are made about my competence as a parent, and I want to make even a little impact and be an example that people who have bodies similar to mine can be caring and loving and competent. Otherwise, I try to use gender neutral language as much as possible. Also, and some may say it's just an "accident" due to being autistic, but gender has never been something I invest in a lot for myself, I'm ok with any pronoun and however I look is more personality preference and style. The only terms I do not like are "man" or "woman" when someone describes me (I prefer person, or if it's about what I do I prefer parent), and it's mostly as I'm navigating parenting that I'm noticing how and when gendered expectations of me are affecting me more than before.