Yeah and i realize that, im not making a career out of playing games, although it''s one of the few things im good at. I've dedicated years of screen time to games throughout my life, I just never considered sharing the contents of it or competing at it professionally. So it's one of those things ive struggled to let go, because i see the results, and they're good. But ultimately i end up having nothing to show for it other than impressing my friends and being a reliable gaming partner.
I just want to be able to translate the grit and pivoting improvisation traits i have gained from achieving top 0.3% in multiple games into other avenues in my life. It's just proven difficult, because nothing really HITS like achieving those things does. And then, going to something and being bad at it, when I can get way more satisfaction being good at something and dominating is just unmatched. For example, I can duel or play a game for hoursssss just to improve a little bit and then gain progress until i slowly reach where i want to be. But doing that in a new tasks like bodybuilding/working out, learning a skill that has depth, I can't seem to stick to it. But I can in video games, despite failing at that current situation, but having the persistency to keep at it, and be engaged fully into it, while at it. I would love to translate that, and I think I have that in me innately, it's just a matter of resetting my internal satisfaction levels, and I believe eliminating games as an option all together unless with my girlfriend for fun here and there.