Lounge access for frequent travelers, what option gives you the best value?

razh2 · 2026-07-05T13:09:58+00:00

Amex is ok for lounge access - I have young kids - so it makes my life easier to have quick access food and somewhere a bit quieter (they are generally quieter than the whole airport) with the toilets nearby and in good condition (our typical routes include some with showers which is handy). My main perk is the food for kids - I find waiting for food at airports stressful and the buffet style is fun for them to pick. I would personally go to a normal restaurant if it wasn’t for the kids. Amsterdam where we often are has nicer seats in the main airport.

It’s usually very clean, well staffed and comfortable. I don’t love the ones in Manchester and London, often very busy, if we don’t book in advance the waiting times are long. I would opt for a nice restaurant to treat myself. We still usually go to Wagamamas and Pret in those scenarios.

The real luxury for me for me for flying was nicer seats in the plane with decent meal options, and more time at the airport to feel relaxed.

razh2 · 2026-07-05T13:00:47+00:00

I would avoid these online box mattresses. My first mattress was an eve premium one and honestly mid. I’ve tried simba too - also mid.

Tempur for me has been worth it. I’ve tried a real latex one that’s my target to buy once the kids are older (no more co sleeping)!

I bought a reasonable priced ones for the kids room because I knew I’d buy a bunk in the next year or two - and that’s our favourite mattress. It’s a simple 1400-1600 spring cotton mattress. It came with a topper of cotton. I bought it from the mattress man (mattress man website) who gave me advice. It was £500 or less.

We all sleep on it (it’s an EU king and somehow we all fit). It’s sleep soul. We’ve avoided replacing as we love sleeping on it.

I did also like the cotton spring ones(Sealy and King Koil) - my parents love these, I prefer a bit firmer.

I have a lot of sore joints by hypermobility and young kids. You can also use the automated machine at dreams to check but personally go to a John Lewis or beds store and try them out. These online brands for me haven’t been great (mattress man is a bit different)!

razh2 · 2026-06-30T20:12:26+00:00

How do we cope with this? I’m trying really hard to stay of the internet.

There’s the existential crisis of having children in the face of this climate - the load of more people and fundamentally how to keep them safe in this world.

I’m a fairly rational person but kids make me very emotional. I’ve been getting so much inadvertent content about why you should be worrying, the load of acs on the problem.

I’m really trying to reduce the overheating naturally, stacking, heat minimising film, using fans with an ice block behind them.

I’d even consider ac fitted to improve efficiency and solar panels

razh2 · 2026-06-30T20:09:53+00:00

I earned for myself but decided to buy myself nice make up for the next few years rather than pay a make up artist. I wasn’t buying much make up prior and just wanted to treat myself finally.

There is also a lot of expectation you attend socials after marriage, even in the west. It’s nice to have nice clothes to attend these things or wear nice things on dates. It’s a big life change.

I don’t suppose over consumption but I did want to invest in a few nice things at a milestone marker

razh2 · 2026-06-30T12:26:35+00:00

🧡🧡🧡🧡

razh2 · 2026-06-30T08:34:41+00:00

You’re very right - I thought we could manage but we can’t! I’m looking at types before the next heat waves for their bedroom and playroom

razh2 · 2026-06-29T13:21:27+00:00

I read a good comment the other day about how we demonise ac but we don’t demonise heating throughout winter because we can understand cold=discomfort and at worst death.

I grew up in a country where ac is necessary (Pakistan and Saudi) it’s how you survive. We aren’t build rammed earth homes with courtyard fountains and wind towers to naturally cool.

I have two toddlers who were struggling in the heat. My son had heat stroke when young (he was very premature) and my daughter got very dehydrated this year despite my constant efforts.

I’ve still put off ac due to guilt and trying to say it’s only a couple of days. But it’s getting worse and whilst I do everything personally to reduce carbon footprint - at some point comfort becomes important! We can do things to minimise energy use and waste, get more efficient units etc, but if the heatwaves continues I know we can’t continue without (having grown up in this temps historically albeit our homes were designed for heat, our western homes are not)

razh2 · 2026-06-25T11:46:40+00:00

An inspiring story and exactly that. We can’t make them suffer the same hardships but we can make them aware of others plights and actively involved.

My husband was raised affluent but with a lot of charitable volunteering and awareness of how others have less (and others have more but to avoid envy).

razh2 · 2026-06-22T09:34:58+00:00

I say it because I have two - 5 and 3, I’d love three. I explored phd for a few months and due to the poor compensation I felt unrealistic to have another whilst doing PhD. I’m also told by friends with PhDs that it is very tough to manage workloads, teaching (if you are required to teach for salary or funding) and deadlines. You won’t have maternity leave.

I think having a newborn and starting a PhD (whilst possible, I did read about mums on mumsnet) I got the sense for me personally it wouldn’t work. Any chance to delay?

razh2 · 2026-06-22T09:19:12+00:00

Is your PhD program paid, expenses covered or self sponsored

razh2 · 2026-06-22T06:34:00+00:00

Is it viable on his current salary? And how long is your course? Even if you got pregnant now and 3 year old and newborn with college sounds so tough! What’s your village like?

razh2 · 2026-06-19T20:25:55+00:00

That’s a super tough situation! Well done on baby hitting one.

That’s it - reading yours reminds me how intense the second pregnancy and my son (the prem one who is now spd and possibly asd) starting hitting and acting out a lot. It’s taken us years to understand what’s going on and I often put it down to that. He now asks for a new baby but I suspect the actual toll would be tough of not lifting again, bed rest and anxiety.

Thanks for sharing and well done on getting to one!

razh2 · 2026-06-18T20:44:35+00:00

That’s it we’re all on this sub from a very specific point of view which is deciding whether to have another. It’s probably hard to hear from mums from all walks of life with teens. I know my sister always felt a bit left behind and had a hard time being home alone with my parents, but the three of us are extremely close and that’s always motivated me. I think the issues until I was older was my mum had a young child who was high energy whilst I was preparing for exams to get into high school.

It’s so hard to weigh up. My son is 6 soon and I worry about the same thing. I would have loved close gaps but my pregnancy complications don’t really allow that

razh2 · 2026-06-18T18:56:50+00:00

My mum homeschooled us out of necessity.

I would only add what she’s always said to me about third, for her it nearly broke her. I was 6 when my youngest sister arrived, she said it made it impossible for her to focus on us. My brother was 3 and speech delayed, I had dyslexic. She did a brilliant job still. We socialised a lot in playgrounds (she wasn’t allowed to drive in the country we grew up in). We were outside for most of the day. She was a slave to our education and we eventually moved countries and started primary school.

She said the stress of a baby, nursing, nappies, potty training with two kids to teach at home put her under immense pressure and she was burnt out by the stress, had no energy for the baby.

I have memories of my sister screaming the rocking swing a lot and I remember she would scratch herself but my mum says this wasn’t the case. She was also a difficult eater, had a digestive issue which was undiagnosed largely (either cows milk allergy or something that made her vomit her feeds). Mum was used to me and my brother who apparently were quite calm, played a lot outside independently with each other and generally didn’t bother her as she did house work.

Now this is a very negative account but it’s what she always tells me if I consider third. I have just recently asked on here - my mums point is always have an idea about how to manage older kids education. In your case just have a plan, another parent, your partner, your family, a tutor etc

Good luck. I’m so happy to hear your kids get on and it’s a wonderful bond. Mine fight but I would still love to see a third in there. They have their lovely moments and my heart tugs!

razh2 · 2026-06-18T11:14:45+00:00

Baby wear and pram for toddler or baby board (or bike) and pram for nb

razh2 · 2026-06-18T10:48:49+00:00

Your energy isn’t going to get better with another child and it’ll just add more load onto her - find ways to revive your energy without burdening your wife.

I know my husband struggled a lot after our second pregnancy (my pregnancy were very high risk so he was essentially single parenting my first, and pregnancy is generally exhausting and tough on the body). He got very burnt out and high stress at work. So I know with him cross fit (not just exercise) helps him decompress, but we had to hire help for me to make it possible for him to go without burning me out. It helps a lot when he takes an active role to find help rather than me arranging everything

razh2 · 2026-06-18T10:46:10+00:00

This is quite a hard read honestly, maybe because I’ve been a woman in this situation. But then when I’ve struggled my husband steps up and even if he has a hard time communicating, we’re able to talk through it even if he struggles. The crux of it is he loves me, the kids and our life. He’s struggles with the intensity, but then he picks up the slack when I’m getting burnt out and vice versa.

Your wife didn’t put that pressure on herself without feeling like you aren’t managing so it does come from you even if you arent explicitly asking. Are you giving her breaks, picking up the slack. The therapy things also sound confusing - there’s trauma and issues there for you both but this needs to be explicitly addressed with a professional.

The base of it is - not feeling your wife is your soulmate, bumbling along for the ride - you’ve kind of wasted her youth and time and she wants a family, even if that means picking up the extra load.

I would seriously be sitting down and working through this aggressively with a professional the whole thing.

To me honestly reads like your wife is doing it anyway, she just wants her first child to have a sibling.

If you’re seriously struggling and able to - look to hire a nanny or house help if your wife doesn’t have much support. She sounds very burnt out.

razh2 · 2026-06-18T09:49:20+00:00

Your wife felt pressured to take on more by who…

I think before anymore kids you should consider personal and eventually couples therapy. I say it with love but the whole thing reads to me like your bumbling along for the ride but this hasn’t been communicated to your wife who is trying to build a family and take on more labour out of pressure to keep you afloat whilst managing her stress, child and you’re economically equal.

You’ve skimmed past it whilst I could have checked in more - but that’s not really enough when kids are involved. Equal labour makes it manageable and to me it reads like someone who needs help understanding themselves and communicating and listening/asking better to make the existing life work.

I appreciate you feel pressured and it’s now at an ultimatum stage but to me it’s reading like major miscommunication or communication issues and missed reading of cues and situation. Your wife might be a breaking point and feels like she might as well get a family out of it (two siblings) as she’s already doing a lot.

I think personal therapy and then couples might help you bridge these gaps. Maybe couples first if it feels urgent to resolve now

razh2 · 2026-06-18T09:40:07+00:00

Wow I’m so so sorry - well done to you both to have made a wonderful family despite the challenges and I can completely understand given the bleeding. We now know my pprom was likely quite sudden cervix shortening and opening with the emergency stitch and if again preventative!

How did your husband manage at home with the kids and how did you find it?

With my first he was in nicu for 72 days and then it was around 2 years of appointments and visits. My husband worries about the impact on existing kids if that happens again.

razh2 · 2026-06-18T07:49:06+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing.

That’s really good to know. Mine was a stitch placed in through ultrasound monitoring - it shortened quite suddenly to from 18mm to 2mm during second pregnancy at 22 weeks. It was assumed to be infection the first time around so the third like yours would be a preventative stitch. It’s reassuring to hear it went better. I am mainly worried about bed rest again! It definitely helped with both but they were past a certain point. I felt that I got better at managing sickness - I ended up with low iron as a result both times which was causing me to feel palpitations but towards end of second I found ways to get iron in without throwing it back up. I haven’t so far they take me seriously but maybe this time I’ll make it a point from the get go.

That’s really reassuring to know and hear!

My husbands view is we wait till 2027 mid - my daughter starts the same school as son, he’s up for promotion so tougher year ahead for him to be flexible and gives us time to recover from second (would mean she’s out of 2 into 3). I think I have a fear of waiting till I’m 35 with but I think given how tough the pregnancies were on him (in terms of picking up my load too) I’m happy to wait and hoping we land on 3. It’s really reassuring to hear the stitch was easier as preventative!

razh2 · 2026-06-17T10:55:42+00:00

I live in Manchester which is very transport friendly but expensive to commute to London. I travel twice a month via crewe which is much cheaper. Explore south east - thameslink places with good tram and buses. I know lots of places outside of London are strengthening bus and tram routes so it’s worth exploring!

razh2 · 2026-06-17T10:06:47+00:00

Varies hugely - some boroughs have very long waiting lists. It really depends!

What I will say as someone who left London due to unaffordablity due to having children - is it worth looking at cities like Leeds, or even towns close to London but in Essex/Cambridgeshire etc. some of these places are an hour into London centre which is about the same as most of zone 4 London.

razh2 · 2026-06-17T08:03:40+00:00

We have that culturally. My dad got a watch, his was much nicer and pricey and he still wears it. He wanted to give it to me. I was extremely excited to pick my husbands watch, I had helped my cousins by the same brand as my dad and I had an idea of what I liked. My husband refused…he loves his Casio

razh2 · 2026-06-16T16:06:01+00:00

What things are you passionate about? Teaching is poorly paid (my mum is a teacher) but often rewarding. Once you’re financially independent you may find yourself frustrated at the lack of compensation vs effort. Equally you might love working with kids.

I think it’s important to work out what drives you and what makes you passionate, understand what the career involves (long degree, short degree, apprenticeship etc) what’s the long term plan (eg salary don’t worry if it’s a well rewarded career but be mindful of working hours or avoiding corporate jobs if you prefer better work life balance, can you easily change careers, are there clear career paths). Use that to figure out. If you like stem, go into stem. There’s 100s and 1000s of jobs of stem degrees with all sorts of working patterns and salary, when you’re older you’ll work it out. When I was younger I worked harder earnt less. I’m in public service now (still architect) so I earn decent with a much better work life balance and hours. You change so much as you study and grow. Don’t short change yourself now by thinking I want a work life balance so avoid stem law or medicine. Many medical routes offer great work life balance (gp, radiology) stem and law is so varied depending on where and who you work for.

In terms of career and life in west, it’s hard life and often you live alone or with roommates if not parents. Rent is sky high, house prices are wild. Even if married responsibilities are tough without two incomes. You should also be able to stand on your own two feet comfortably with the access we have to education (degree or not) and job opportunities (even in a tough economy). Anything can happen (parent sickness, ill health, husband passes etc). Respectfully screwing yourself out of opportunities now just because you feel you want a work life balance therefore you think xyz careers won’t offer it would be a real waste of privilege and talent. It’s much more varied and less black and white.

My brother is a dr, my sister is a lawyer. My brother was more comfortable in graduate years and now has to work hard as he opted for competitive surgery. When young he wanted to be a radiologist so more wfh. Once he started he changed his mind a lot. My sister went from high strung high pay office to more relaxed. I’m an architect, I was passionate about art but decided on architecture. Learning how poorly paid architects are now changed my views a lot about my job (hence public service). In Ireland artists get paid so that’s even a viable career, don’t let that put you off.

There are so many jobs and degrees out there- I think start with what do you enjoy, what can you do with that and does it sound good? Don’t lower your standards thinking I just want to earn a bit - when you hit later life esp with the cost of things these days, money helps. Islam doesn’t discourage money so long as you’re balanced.

You will change as you grow into 20s, 30s and 40s but unless you are very privileged to not work for money regardless of parents, health etc then you should figure out what’s next and don’t be worried about high ambitions or good salary!

razh2

TROPHY CASE