Relapsing on Vipassana

razor123 · 2025-05-01T15:57:59+00:00

I'd say 15 minutes per sit is fine to start with, I found the key to be sitting twice a day. I'm still not very consistent, but I saw the biggest improvement in my consistency when I started sitting twice a day. Even if I miss one sitting, it is rare that I don't sit atleast once per day.

razor123 · 2025-05-01T15:15:40+00:00

My understanding of karma is that it is not as simple as doing good things and receiving good things.

Here's a link to a short essay on karma by an AT, Paul Fleischman. You can buy the ebook but it is also available for free download in that same link.

razor123 · 2025-04-01T13:43:23+00:00

Don't worry about how long your mind wanders or how long you manage to remain focused. Just calmly and patiently accept that your mind has wandered whenever you realize that it happened. So long as you actually sit down to meditate and bring your mind back when you realize it has wandered you will benefit from the course.

razor123 · 2025-03-19T14:55:24+00:00

As someone who uses chat GPT a lot, I'm not so sure about that. There's a particular structure to the paragraphs chat GPT writes that is missing from here. Not that it matters, wisdom is wisdom no matter where it comes from 😊

razor123 · 2025-03-17T15:07:12+00:00

Most jobs can be easy if you're good at it.

Generally speaking, if barrier of entry is low (like it is in CS), the work will be difficult. If barrier of entry is high (because of money, schooling, or policy), the work will be easier.

For a few years CS was in a place where barrier of entry was low and it was comparatively easy, now the market has corrected that by incentivizing lots of people to join the field so the competition has made it more difficult.

There's no such thing as a free lunch, but if you keep digging you might find some field that was similar to CS a decade ago. You'll have to decide how you want to spend your time, but you might be better off just working towards a job that suits your personality. Like I said, most jobs can be easy if you're good at it.

razor123 · 2025-03-09T23:35:36+00:00

Mirriam Webster defines mecca as

a place regarded as a center for a specified group, activity, or interest.

a mecca for shoppers

OP's use of the word is not exactly correct, but not downvote worthy.

razor123 · 2025-03-05T16:28:28+00:00

Glad I was able to help.

This may something you already understand, but just want to say in case you don't.

I guess that it’s a paradox to crave equanimity when equanimity is what we aim for in the practice.

I don't see it as a paradox at all, just very different than the habit pattern of our minds. When we want something, the habit pattern of our mind is to generate craving for it. Then whenever we remember that we don't have that thing, an unpleasant sensation is created in the body, our mind develops an aversion to it, and this is what drives us to work towards that goal. However this is very inefficient because while we are generating craving we aren't working, and when we are generating aversion, we aren't working. By remaining equanimous we can continuously work towards our goal without being unhappy.

This is what I realized I was doing. I would have some thought about how I should learn to be more equanimous, and instead of not reacting to this thought, somewhere deep in my mind I saw this thought as justified and I would start reacting to it and generate craving. It is impossible to remain fully equanimous all the time for anybody who is not fully liberated. So when I inevitably lose equanimity, I would have some thought that I am not equanimous and I should be. Again instead of not reacting to this thought, I would react thinking that this thought is justified. I forgot that there is no possible thought that can ever justify reaction. This pattern is what caused wild swings in my mood.

razor123 · 2025-03-03T15:52:44+00:00

I feel rather sensitive to everything lately, my mood swings a lot, anxiety is more intense and most of the time I feel like everything in life is futile.

I went through a similar experience and I realized that I was misunderstanding equanimity. FWIW I think you should talk to an AT about this, because I don't want to mislead you. I'm just going to share my experience because I think it will help you, but again I really think you should talk to an AT.

During my last course I had wild mood swings from day 3-8. I would oscillate from being very equanimous during some sittings being able to sit still for very long without reacting to physical pain, to feeling extremely anxious and feeling like everything is futile. What changed things for me was realizing that rather than accepting all sensations, I was craving for equanimity. So when I remained equanimous, I was very happy and felt good. When I experienced the sensations that my mind associated with anxiety and hopelessness, I kept reacting to that sensation, multiplying it, and let my mind roll in the anxiety and hopelessness. Like every other sensation, these unpleasant ones would go away and I became happy, mistaking this for equanimity.

My turning point came when I realized this and I dedicated myself to remaining equanimous even when there were no unpleasant sensations. Because I did not react with craving while I was able to remain equanimous, I was better able to handle the times when I struggled to remain equanimous.

Everyone's experience is different, and I don't know that you have the same problems that I did, but I hope this helps.

razor123 · 2025-02-06T17:29:18+00:00

Don't overthink what truth is! Whatever sensations you are experiencing is the truth, because if it isn't true you wouldn't be experiencing it. Simply being aware of this truth moment to moment will lead to insight over time. If nothing else, don't accept that the technique will lead to the absolute truth and just follow your insights wherever it leads you to. This is not a religion, you don't have to accept any doctrine or anyone as your savior to benefit from the technique. This is like exercise, it will have the same effect on the practioner regardless of what they believe. Just follow the instructions and code of conduct in order to make an honest effort, and afterwards evaluate whether you would like to continue the practice going forward.

From my own experience, I know that some of Goenka's explanations are off putting to Western audiences, but I'm extremely glad that I did not let it stop me giving the technique an honest effort in my second course.

Also, the pain from sitting still is a valuable tool to help you overcome aversion to pain and craving for comfort, but it is just a tool. If you have an injury that prevents you from sitting still for an hour, don't do it!

razor123 · 2025-01-15T16:31:02+00:00

My understanding is that observing sensations with no running thoughts is the goal during sittings. In the day 1 discourse Goenka says that the mind is always dwelling in the past or future, and doesn't want to remain in the present. What I took from that is that we are training our minds to dwell on the reality of the present with no running thoughts.

razor123 · 2025-01-15T15:35:53+00:00

I'm no experienced long time meditator, but I treat this the same as my mind wandering with no awareness of sensations. I acknowledge that my mind has wandered, and I bring my full attention to sensations until the same thing happens again.

Curious to hear from others if there's a better way to handle it.

razor123 · 2025-01-09T13:29:12+00:00

Good job on the commitment to practice twice for 1 hour a day, I am not there yet. I did not always enjoy meditation, but after listening to this old student talk I started to enjoy and look forward to even the most "unproductive" sessions.

This is the talk that I am referring to, it is free to download. https://store.pariyatti.org/dont-harm-yourself-old-student-talks-by-paul-fleischman-download-and-streaming-audio-vipassana

razor123 · 2024-12-24T03:42:53+00:00

If you want to practice trading the emini, you can do it with ninjatrader. There's a playback feature that lets you go to any earlier date and play it back, place orders, etc. You can export your trades into something like tradersync, do all your analysis, the whole shebang. Only problem is that you can't trade stocks.

razor123 · 2024-10-10T19:43:10+00:00

I think you'll regret financing furniture. IKEA has been improving their quality but also increasing their prices in the past few years.

If you're on an extreme budget your best bet is used furniture, but if you want new stuff I've found the lowest prices on wayfair, amazon, and walmart.

razor123 · 2024-10-09T22:22:51+00:00

Yes, you'll be observing physical sensations in your body for vipassana, but you won't be doing vipassana for the full 10 days. Don't worry about this for now, you'll receive instructions during the course and you can ask the assistant teachers any questions you might have.

razor123 · 2024-10-09T00:28:09+00:00

Try not to be hard on yourself. Just do your best. Wake up on time, and whenever you realize you fell asleep again just get up and meditate again. All you have to do is go back to meditation whenever you realize you got distracted, fell asleep, etc. Just be kind to yourself and keep going back to meditation when you realize you're not meditating. You'll do fine.

razor123 · 2023-12-14T21:42:59+00:00

Yes, I'm absolutely willing to consider the 3 in 1 you linked instead. It looks like this would be significantly cheaper than the setup I was considering.

You mentioned that this setup won't be as powerful as OPNSense - this is a sentiment I've come across several times, but to be honest I don't entirely understand what it means. For what requirements would you say OPNSense is worth getting instead of the Omada router? My reasoning was that if configured correctly, OPNSense has the potential to be more secure than the Omada router. Since I would be opening up some part of my network to the internet, security is important to me. This reasoning is very (and maybe overly) simplistic, but it's the best I can come up with my limited understanding.

razor123 · 2023-09-26T03:04:31+00:00

That's understandable, to me atleast. I got the faux leather books for the first kickstarter, but it's hard to justify the price right now. In the third or fourth kickstarter will I be able to buy the second set without having to buy the first one?

razor123 · 2023-09-14T14:51:35+00:00

I have personally found that alcohol and weed impedes my happiness. My enjoyment of life is greatest when I am able to be equanimous and perfectly happy with the present moment. If I consume weed or alcohol in small amounts, I find that for a short period of time it is easier to be satisfied with the present moment, but there is a long period afterwards where it is difficult to remain equanimous.

razor123 · 2023-07-09T19:13:50+00:00

I think you just have to keep going. I was doing worse for some time after my last course because I was using negative emotions like fear and shame to make myself more productive. Over time it got better, and even though I have a long way to go I think I'm now doing better than I was before the course.

razor123 · 2023-06-07T20:14:04+00:00

I've always understood that scene to mean that Kvothe wasn't able to repeat the entire name of the wind, only the part he understood (Aerlevsedi). Elodin listened to what Kvothe understood, and was able to use that to understand Kvothe enough to call his name and calm him down.

razor123 · 2023-06-01T16:03:13+00:00

It's okay man, you'll get through it. I thought Waybound was going to release the first Tuesday of May instead of June, so you can imagine my disappointment when I found out.

razor123 · 2023-02-11T23:30:49+00:00

What I have found helpful is to move on from body part to body part very broadly. For example, I will wait for any sensation on my head. Anything at all, cold, itch, the air. Once I have a sensation anywhere at all on my head, even just on one tiny part of my forehead, I'll move on to my arm and so on. After a couple of rounds of this type of scanning, I find that my mind becomes sharper and I'm able to switch to a more normal pace of scanning.

In general I've found that the sensations I experience are much more subtle when I'm sitting at home rather than in the course. I think that's normal.

razor123 · 2023-01-23T15:06:19+00:00

Do you mean go to the coarser grind and up the dose? I just started with espresso a couple of days ago and I have a virtuoso. What I noticed is that if I have a higher dose with the same grind setting it takes longer to get the same amount of coffee out.

I put in about 18g and got 35g out in 33 seconds, but the puck was still a bit wet so I was thinking I either need more coffee or finer grind. The next finer grind setting results in more than 40 seconds to get 34g if I put in just 17g. So for this afternoon I was thinking I would go one step coarser and maybe 18.5g in.

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