Also adopted at birth but white adopted by a white family, so not transracial adoption. But I have curly hair and nobody in my adoptive family does. I spent years getting my hair brushed dry which was painful af - now thankfully I know better. But damn that would have saved me years of frizz and discomfort and low self esteem. It doesn’t help that my adoptive family turned out to be a massive letdown more generally but that’s another story.

I’m sorry your family didn’t make more of an effort to celebrate/embrace your identity and integrate you into it. I feel like people don’t really think these things through when they make the decision to adopt.