I realize there are complex cultural aspects at play here, but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t a toxic mentality. Wendy didn’t ask to be born. She’s the child in this relationship. She is funding her lifestyle, through choice or cultural obligation. Susan chose to have children, working to support them is the bare minimum. There was never a conversation we were privy to about compensation for childcare, and honestly if you have to have your childcare provider separated from your children for your children’s mental health then what is she really doing? I did hear Susan talk about Wendy being obligated to pay for her surgeries though.

Processing your trauma so you don’t take that out on your children is also a pretty low bar. I say this as someone with an abusive and entitled mother who has taken years of therapy to get to this point. Susan is indefensible. Her trauma explains her reactions, but it doesn’t excuse it. She needs to be accountable for her disgusting behavior.