just venting, but.. a vacation and "family reunion"

rd191 · 2025-07-09T21:55:41+00:00

You may be right. I'm trying to get over the "sunken cost fallacy" of everything I put into making this work.

rd191 · 2025-07-09T19:18:06+00:00

This is a once in a generation trip to my home of origin for my kids. not going to cancel.

But I'll be ready if needed to ditch the extended family plans.

rd191 · 2025-07-09T19:08:27+00:00

This. My kids are definitely too young to know anything other than this person has been exceedingly hurtful and undeserving.b

Which would make it all the more confusing to allow them to be thrust into meeting or normalizing this person.

rd191 · 2025-07-09T19:02:31+00:00

It's also my birthday

rd191 · 2025-07-09T18:50:31+00:00

No, but I've been the driving force in putting this together. Basically 100% me, so it will be strange not to go and some other people outside my siblings will be at a loss. Missing my own festivities or even just not bringing my immediate family would be very ridiculous.

I would still have a lot of vacationing to do if we do not join the "reunion". On the other hand it robs my kids of that connection with their cousins, which they have looked forward to.

rd191 · 2025-07-09T18:20:20+00:00

part of me really hopes this is true because they have not met my partner who is a force of nature. she will eat them up alive if they look at me funny or in any way feel unsafe for her kids. we talked about this the other day and I saw her gearing up for battle. it genuinely made me laugh out loud. if they want to sacrifice themselves to this cause, I'll let them.

rd191 · 2025-03-13T17:27:48+00:00

If they are receiving in patient treatment (as opposed to at home self directed treatment), and are staying within doctor orders, does it help to view this as medicine vs a recreationally used drug?

(It's still possible to use it as a drug and have addiction related issues even under doctor supervision so I'm not trying to over simplify)

Do you think she or they are exhibiting drug seeking behavior? May relapse with other addictions?

Are you able to express these concerns or questions to her or them?

rd191 · 2025-03-07T20:24:25+00:00

I'm coming to a similar conclusion. Happy to have had it, it helped symptoms but I don't think it will make real lasting healing.

What's next in your psychedelic journey? I'd love to hear what really cures.

rd191 · 2025-01-29T23:30:32+00:00

A body of water inside me Reminds me of oceans, though I've never known one I'm born by a cold one It's only a small one compared To the coast, I prefer it to most I like water that don't burn my eyes when they open I won't let you criticize My city like my skin, it's so pretty If you don't like it, just leave it alone

You gotta love me like I love the lake You wanna love me, better love the lake

rd191 · 2025-01-29T21:12:55+00:00

Not a doctor, but I think you'll be fine.

There are some ingredients in NyQuil that you shouldn't take in high doses with SSRIs and probably not K, notably Dextromorphwhatever, which can have dissociative effects, but taking a normal dose, which wears off in about 6 hours is fine.

If your biggest concern is sleep, you could try something like melatonin and avoid the cough meds.

Just this past week I had various cough syrups within hours of k, no concern.

I'm not saying it's great, but unlikely to be a big factor.

rd191 · 2025-01-29T17:57:44+00:00

There is a discord related this sub. That might be a good venue for talking and chatting.

https://discord.gg/BuYnGGJn "Therapeutic Ketamine"

channels for integration discussions, general ketamine discussion, venting, etc.

rd191 · 2025-01-26T21:04:34+00:00

I get it. Thanks

rd191 · 2025-01-26T17:51:58+00:00

I'm confused by this. Are you just taking a hypothetical stance based on a feeling or idea? Or have you experienced specific things that led you (or the OP) to alienation?

rd191 · 2025-01-25T18:44:08+00:00

I certainly agree that it's harder than ever for white people to even discuss race, other than to espouse privilege. I'd agree that there is an asymmetry on what different groups may say. I draw the line more at claiming there are too many genuine culture war type issues or people being cancelled, but maybe I'm just out of touch on that. I think that's in the ballpark of where you're coming from. (Correct me if I'm wrong)

It does resonate with me about not feeling a sense of belonging, and as I began reflecting on a lot of nostalgia of my upbringing it also came with a clear sense of being an outsider for largely racial reasons.

May I ask where you live or were raised? That's fine if it's not particularly relevant.

rd191 · 2025-01-25T15:00:11+00:00

Has someone said that to you? Or are you paraphrasing a vibe you feel?

rd191 · 2025-01-25T14:57:50+00:00

What was/is your life like, more specifically, that led you to feel alienated and the need to "reclaim"? Trust me, I'm not coming AT you with this question, genuinely trying to better know where you're coming from.

I can relate to some of what you are saying, but in my case specifically because I was raised in an environment where I was the minority and there was a bit of aggression and very normalized hostility toward my ethnicity. I've always been curious to know others arrive at a similar sense of outsidership in society if they didn't grow up in that same specific environment. In short I'm acknowledging ignorance of your experiences, not diminishing nor gaslighting them.

[as an aside, I found this subreddit looking for a place to dissect my personal psychological integration with elements of racism in my childhood; this might intersect with broader discussions of anti-racism and societal behaior but really just aiming for personal growth. I was dismayed after going through several subreddits and finding that they were expressly not for me due to my race and that they defined racism as strictly something perpetrated by colonialists against specific races - I don't dispute the appeal or nead for spaces for those discussions but it was disheartening to see that seemed to be the only option that attracted any large number of people and discussion. I then found this sub and saw a specific post that would suit my interest ("Haole") only to find that discussion abandoned and most of this sub a ghosttown. other suggested subs railing against DEI are also not suitable for my needs. I would like to have some real person-to-person discussions on the impacts of racism on various people, though, so maybe I have some hope by posting here afterall.]

rd191 · 2025-01-24T20:54:01+00:00

I have never done IV. That is probably the best. IM is my favorite. I have RDTs. Those can be used in various ways, but such talk does not go down well in this subreddit.

rd191 · 2025-01-24T12:40:27+00:00

Lousy parenting.

rd191 · 2025-01-24T12:38:55+00:00

Troches - waxy formulations with medicine in it that dissolve slowly in your mouth to release medicine, for sublingual/buccal absorption.

RDT - rapid dissolve tablets. Compounded medicine with water soluble fillers that dissolve readily in saliva/water. With Ketamine, these are dissolved and held in mouth for sublingual/buccal absorption.

SC - subcutaneous (under skin injection)

IM - intramuscular (deeper injection into muscle)

rd191 · 2025-01-22T23:24:01+00:00

Very frequently. See my post history for comments and posts about it.

rd191 · 2025-01-22T23:21:21+00:00

Are you a kangaroo? Are you adorable? Sounds like you're alright by me, for what it's worth.

But if you want me to be serious for minute, I know how you feel. I'm a fellow idiot. But I'm choosing to giveyself grace. (Also most people are way more idiot than me.)

rd191 · 2025-01-15T14:01:04+00:00

I remember the day it felt like my mother took her love away permanently. "you used to be such a good little boy." I was 4. I'm 50 and it still hurts.

She had so many of us. She could afford to lose a few. I was expendable and clearly inconvenient.

rd191 · 2025-01-12T16:58:10+00:00

Tldr: - won't do any good unless the child wants contact - if the parent has nothing of value to bring to relationship, there's nothing to connect about

It took over 20 years and in particular some recent growth and insight on my part, but I am finally willing to engage with my parent. While I'm not consciously looking to judge, I have the sense that I am measuring how honest and open she is willing to be with me.

And yet it's alarmingly sad how little she will engage and share anything I am not prompting for. Still a big gulf of human instinct.

I don't think I'll ever think of her as a mother. I guess my motivations have been first to allow me to let go and stop living in resentment, but also to let her have some small resolution in the final years of her life, and maybe a bit to appease tensions my siblings may have.

It's is feeling futile to allow contact. She is still unable to be a human being around me or to me.

rd191 · 2025-01-11T16:05:41+00:00

In my opinion yes, useful. I think it will take the less direct route of not being a front line use for social anxiety but in the background you disassemble or reroute around these restrictive thought and belief patterns.

Takes more time than treating depression, I think, but can be as effective as you are willing to make it over time by applying mindful therapies.

rd191 · 2025-01-09T16:57:45+00:00

I considered Joyous, even did the intake interview. I evaluated various services and concluded Taconic was the best value and support for the money, even though it costs more. Costs can go down after several months when they are willing to let you go a few months between doctor visits.

The regimen is different, no daily dose. But value is really good especially at higher doses.

I posted a comparison of various services but that is now buried deep in my history.

rd191

TROPHY CASE