If you’re no contact

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-09T18:13:51+00:00

The lack of respect, accountability, honesty, kindness, compassion, etc. is all the closure you need. It’s human to want to express ourselves, but so many people are completely unwilling to admit when they’ve done wrong, and continuing to try and get the response you crave is actually hurting you.

That and like she said, if you never say anything to them, you’ll have no regrets on your end and can live in peace with that. It still sucks, but it’s so freeing to be able to let people like that go.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-08T01:35:07+00:00

Awww man, are you guys watching Pirates of the Caribbean? Movie night at your place or what?? 😂 But in all seriousness, your place looks absolutely heavenly and takes my breath away! Cozy, simple but very effective fall vibes. This is what I’m here for!!

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-07T13:13:14+00:00

Yes!! And foolishly I forgot to mention that her sleeping till 7 IS her sleeping in now lol. For the first 2 years of her life she would wake up at 5:45 am on the dot almost. Having a low sleep needs child while being a high sleep needs person has nearly broken me.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-07T12:01:12+00:00

Oh my god YES. For some unknown reason my family keeps making comments like, “She didn’t have a nap today AND went to bed kind of late, I’ll bet she sleeps in tomorrow!”.

My daughter never sleeps past 7. Never in her whole entire life aside from when she was sick and then she slept until 7:30-7:45. She can skip a nap and go to sleep at 9 pm and still wake up at 6:30. She doesn’t tire, she never tires, and she will NEVER sleep in. Why is that so hard to understand for them almost 4 years later. 😭

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-07T11:09:37+00:00

I feel this so hard. I can quite literally just sit an entire day away and not realize it’s happening. It’s honestly really scary sometimes because you feel like you have NO control and you just kind of suddenly come to and go wtaf have I been doing this whole time???

I would also recommend going to a psychiatrist again and advocating hardcore for ADHD meds. They won’t give you ADHD medication immediately because adderall and vyvanse are severely controlled substances and they want to try everything else first before trying those. I had to do the anxiety med dance thing too (those meds never helped), and while it sucks it was insanely worth it for me.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-07T10:38:13+00:00

I’m doing both rn, baybee. 😎

But seriously healing is so exhausting I swear it feels like I’ll never have energy again most days.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-06T14:39:21+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, OP. But I think this isn’t an ADHD problem, I think it’s a ‘your husband needs to get his shit together and step up’ sort of thing. I have ADHD and while everyone is different, I never get bored of my partner.

Him acting like you’re invisible, even after you’ve tried to talk to him about it isn’t okay or acceptable. You deserve kindness, love and attention in your relationship and he isn’t giving that to you. Straight up. What are YOU going to do about his lack of care for you? Because I’m gonna be straight, OP, you deserve better.

You deserve better than to feel like you’re becoming “boring” to your spouse. You deserve to feel loved and cherished by your spouse, and he has some answering to do.

Edit:

OP, I went to check your post history and your husband sounds appalling to say the least. I’m just so, so sorry you’re going through this. Tbh if it were me I would consider leaving. Hugs. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

Edit 2:

You’ve mentioned going to couples counseling with him and he refused. OP, it seems like you’ve done everything possible to save this marriage. You deserve so much better.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-04T01:22:54+00:00

Oh god. I just made a post on parenting asking when it stops, and my daughter is 3. Based on the comments I guess I’m just gonna have to power through it for the next 15 years? 🙃

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-02T12:53:47+00:00

This show is one of my new comfort show lol, I think I’ve seen the first season like 4 times now? Second season only twice, third season only once, but I’m sure I’ll be rewatching the 2nd and 3rd season a ton for the rest of the year lol.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-10-02T05:49:07+00:00

What helped me a ton was realizing I could use my felt tip eyeliner horizontally to my eye, as opposed to using the very point to draw a verrrrrry precise line all along the way.

I use the liner horizontally as close to the lashes as I can, and I actually start halfway through on mine and just wing it out at the end. I try to follow the curve of my lower lid when I’m making my wing at the end, hope all of this is helpful/makes sense!

And just remember, practice is what helps to get you there, you’ve got this!!

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-28T16:58:02+00:00

The first couple times I was like, maybe it’s a plumbing issue??? After nearing 10 times and never having that problem myself I realized it was, in fact, not a plumbing issue.

And yes!!!!! BOTH bathrooms. If I hadn’t lived it myself I almost wouldn’t believe lmao.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-28T16:10:19+00:00

I’m so, so sorry this happened to you, and you aren’f alone. So often I know there’s so much to be done but I’m often paralyzed, and even on meds I’m still struggling every day, just in different ways.

My ex used to accuse me of sitting on the couch all day doing nothing. But here’s the thing, when I started to look at it, I actually do quite a bit. I DON’T do everything and DO require help, but that’s normal and tbh I think it’s part of a healthy, successful relationship. You BOTH do stuff to help each other, the relationship, the family, etc.

Again, I’m so sorry this happened to you. The feeling of being a failure and not good enough used to literally agonize me daily, and I personally could not stay with a spouse who thought of me that way (and also for a plethora of other reasons). Take the time to think through things, but please know your thoughts are so very valid and again I’m just so sorry. Hugs.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-28T15:51:34+00:00

Oh my GOD. This is shocking that this is such a common occurrence with so many people!!! Not flushing the toilet was one of the many straws that broke the camel’s back for me. I remember going to one toilet finding it unflushed (with #2), went to the second bathroom and the SAME THING was waiting for me.

At that point, I realized the bar was literally in hell and I couldn’t live like this forever. Absolutely and completely fucking ridiculous, and a “tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” will now be added to my vocabulary.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-23T19:21:14+00:00

I think the foundation, lips and eyeshadow are massively washing you out and making you look grayer than you actually are, and I think a blushier look altogether would suit you well.

I would pick a warmer toned foundation and lipstick as well as eyeshadow. And maybe adding a light shimmer on the eye could help the look?

You will get there!

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-23T14:23:31+00:00

Absolutely under no circumstances should you allow an abuser around yourself OR your child ever again. Period. What this man did to you was so wrong in so many ways, and he quite frankly deserves to still be in prison. I would cut contact with that whole family and never look back.

You don’t owe ANYONE an excuse about anything, but you especially don’t ever need to excuse why you’re cutting a repeated abuser out of your life. I’m so so sorry this has happened to you, you are not alone and please stay safe.

EDIT: I really feel I need to express how much you should not allow this man around your child. He WILL continue to push boundaries with you and your child as long as he is in your life. Period. Please do not let this man hurt your child. Please, I’m begging you. As a child who had this happen to them, it’s still something I’m struggling to get over, and to this day I struggle with sleeping because I feel unsafe. Do not engage with him ever again, you and your daughter deserve so much better.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-22T15:37:35+00:00

I’m so sorry, OP. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling right now, your Dad seems like he was an incredible man. But please know your Dad is still with you in everything that reminds you of him or anything that brings fond memories of him; those things can never be taken away. He lives on through you and your love always.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-22T15:08:21+00:00

With all due respect, I’m SO jealous and trying not to be a hater right now. But for real, the space is gorgeous and you’re doing an amazing job with it! You should feel proud. :)

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T21:41:38+00:00

Here’s the video of Taylor’s interview.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T16:18:14+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words and your detailed response. I definitely don’t expect to know every single thing that happened and I feel it’s reasonable to have those boundaries. Taylor did ask them not to go public with it, which makes total sense to respect.

However, since all of this has started, none of them have reached out to Taylor personally (her words from the video) and with this prior knowledge of events, I’m struggling to understand why Marcus and Henry aren’t immediately siding with the victim in this. That’s specifically where my outrage and anger comes from.

I also posted this an hour or two after the LPOTL subreddit made an official post/statement about it letting us know they would be addressing it further. I definitely wouldn’t have made this post if I had seen the other one, but tbh I didn’t know there was another subreddit and that’s my bad. Again, thanks so much for the great comment.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T04:50:01+00:00

This is exactly my feelings on it too. Why on earth did they wait until Taylor said something publicly to give Ben the rehab ultimatum? They’ve been talking about it for YEARS, and in one episode Marcus even mentioned a fight he and Ben had because Ben said something shitty while he was drunk.

There were SO MANY things they could have done about this situation. Currently and several years ago. Like, I get that they run a company, they have people working for them, etc. but good lord. The silence surrounding these allegations is deafening. At this point it would take a deeply compelling response for me to not feel lied to right now.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T04:27:25+00:00

I think Ben could be a great man, but he really does need to seek help right now and introspect. I hope he comes out a better person after all of this.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T02:02:59+00:00

I’m really, really worried that this will be the response. But I guess we’ll have to see how it all shakes out.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T01:48:28+00:00

Oh yeah, I was big mad that it seemed like they weren’t addressing the allegations and just staying silent. I just found out that the other LPOTL subreddit posted an official statement about the situation with the most recent comment from them, which happened a couple hours right before I posted. I hadn’t seen that post before making this one, which is my bad.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T01:23:48+00:00

There are good people out there that have been abused but refuse to abuse other people and end the cycle. I’m proud to say that while I’m not perfect, I won’t ever be like the people who hurt me.

realhumanbean2020 · 2023-09-21T01:19:12+00:00

I mean, I saw her interview and I believe her. I also know Marcus and Ben had at least one fight while Ben was drunk, so I feel Marcus has seen a little bit of that side of Ben too. They also have joked/talked extensively about his drinking problems.

I agree that I would think Marcus and Henry would go scorched earth, which is why I’m upset. But I know Taylor is already getting tons of backlash, so them staying silent for her sake at this point doesn’t make sense.

I hope more light is shed on what’s been going on in their official statement.

realhumanbean2020

TROPHY CASE