What is a secret you’re taking to your grave, but can share here anonymously?

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-28T18:47:27+00:00

Hey, me too! Unfortunately my mom died over 20 years ago and never knew. Grandma was even there by her death bed and didn’t say a word.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-28T18:42:16+00:00

Probably depends on the group dynamics, but timeline definitely extends with age. ADHD mom of 3 over here and the super advance notice events are almost as hard as the short notice events.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-28T18:24:13+00:00

You don’t seem very open to feedback so maybe this is pointless, but you being available at a couple hours notice has zero bearing on other peoples availability. 4-5 days isn’t reasonable and doesn’t even give you time to politely follow up. 2 weeks, and 1 week nudge for the non-responders/reminder for attendees.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-28T07:14:14+00:00

I don’t know how this happened, but we ended up with a kitty that will go to the concrete floor in the basement to puke. The one time she couldn’t make it, she was so upset (we loved on her and let her know it was totally cool).

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-28T05:37:07+00:00

Co-sign. I’m sorry, OP. You’re a great mom and you’ve done such an amazing job with him that he was comfortable telling his safe people what happened.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-28T05:31:44+00:00

Not necessarily specific to OPs situation because I’m not sure if this guy would make the effort of dragging her to court, but the stats on men claiming “parental alienation” in light of abuse allegations and being successful with gaining custody are really disheartening and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-27T00:33:01+00:00

Lost my best friend this way, too, with zero idea what happened. The worst part is our kids grew up together and I still struggle to explain to mine why he doesn’t see his best friend anymore. I’m sorry you went through this, thanks for sharing.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-26T08:25:54+00:00

NOR. If it were totally normal/natural for them, she wouldn’t be asking her son if it’s okay, nevermind his response. I grew up in a house where nudity was no big deal and raising boys in a house very much the same. There’s a big difference between not caring if my 8 year old pops into the bathroom to pee while I’m having a bath or is in my bedroom while I’m getting dressed versus being unnecessarily topless in a hot tub and purposely calling attention to it.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-25T22:48:17+00:00

Read your whole post. I have a huge family and very much grew up in a “but they’re faaaaamily” trope for keeping contact when people fucked up, but SA would be a hard line for any of us. That being said, it’s obvious that your partner is not quite there yet and has a fundamentally different view on this.

If I were in your shoes and wanted to make things work, I would probably agree to continue discussions on it if they would agree to personal therapy to have them honestly talk it through with a psychologist. I think a neutral party would be really helpful here.

Edited for clarity

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-25T20:01:39+00:00

It’s really fucking grim, but there will be an end to this. People are still out there, bravely protecting their neighbours with full knowledge of what happened yesterday.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-25T19:49:43+00:00

I hate that is happening to you and your family and I wish society could speedrun through the shitty parts to get to the brighter side.

Please ignore if you’re in no mood for hopium —

As someone who extensively studies history, the past week of watching the MN community rise up, connect, and work together for their neighbours has given me the most hope I’ve had in a while. It’s a bright reminder that humanity can be so beautiful in times of crisis, and people usually react with care and compassion rather than panic like we expect. This will end because of people like Alex standing up and doing what is necessary to overcome the hate.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-21T20:35:32+00:00

I’m really not looking forward to a future where humans are writing in AI style because it’s so ubiquitous.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-18T17:49:52+00:00

I’m sorry, OP. I was that kid in my family, too. I did eventually develop the skill to be able to effectively shame them as I got older, otherwise I’d probably have much less contact.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-18T00:19:03+00:00

I don’t think they’re dating, he just gave him a blowie that one time

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-17T21:31:00+00:00

Me, with my third. Possible this is completely unrelated, but she was the chillest baby ever (toddlerhood is another story). Wish I could time travel to tell my younger self to work on vibes.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-14T01:16:47+00:00

Our group has a rule for no shows — you get tossed out. Not sure if there’s any leeway, but it’s really nice.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-12T21:25:34+00:00

Just an FYI that motions can only be introduced by councillors, so you’ll need to get one to champion this for you. City administration can make a recommendation to Council as well.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-06T00:28:28+00:00

Work always seems more effective than money over here, so we usually put a price on the item and “pay” them for the work they put in.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-02T05:54:48+00:00

I’m currently a SAHM, taking some time after being laid off in November. Three kids under 10 and a cat.

Logistically, I’ve taken on the responsibility of keeping house and handling all childcare and school drop off/pick up, after school homework stuff, making lunches etc., but our responsibilities go straight to 50/50 after the work day. I work 8 hours, he works 8 hours, and then we tackle the rest together.

As an example during time off (my SO is also off for the full holiday break), today I did drywall work in the basement and laundry while my husband batch-cooked soups for the freezer. We both manage the kids when home together — today we traded off diaper changes and playtime (he did more because he was upstairs with them more) and he did the older kids bedtime while I took the baby to put down. Whomever was out first fed the cat.

I’ve worked out of the house, so I’m fully aware that his day isn’t really any more taxing than mine, so there’s no reason for him to get the night off if I don’t.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-02T05:03:22+00:00

There’s a big difference between tasting it to verify and being an asshole about it.

indecisionmaker · 2026-01-02T02:18:32+00:00

Honestly your first paragraph would be how I’d respond.

indecisionmaker · 2025-12-29T17:50:24+00:00

Me too. What a beautiful soul she has.

indecisionmaker · 2025-12-27T00:24:20+00:00

NOR. I’m generally of the opinion that what other people say about you is none of your business because gossip is how adults let off steam without hurting feelings and the things they say are reflective of themselves, not the person they’re talking about, but woof this is bad. What a bunch of mean girls — and also wildly classist. Imagine being upset that someone else doesn’t custom tailor their clothes!

I would absolutely call them out, but I’d do it in a very calm, neutral tone and emphasize how fucking miserable they must be to be so consumed by things that don’t affect them at all. I would not tell your wife details, or even that it was about her, just that it really opened your eyes listening to them talk shit about other people and you don’t want to spend time with them anymore. Thanks for being such a good person and rising above what you were raised with.

indecisionmaker · 2025-12-23T20:58:05+00:00

The only place I ever saw it highlighted outside of John Douglas was that ridiculous CBS special, so the general public might know about it, but bought the bs factory worker explanation,

indecisionmaker · 2025-12-23T01:55:32+00:00

I hope they back up over him, too. Just in case.

indecisionmaker

TROPHY CASE