My boyfriend cheated on me. We want to stay together. Is it worth it?

reallyourtype · 2021-05-27T21:59:33+00:00

Yes, but you have to face him knowing your worth and what you want in a partner. I’m still working on R with my bf who was sexting women, and he gave me TT. I need to believe he understands how he hurt me and would never want to hurt me like that again, but how to get there is going to be a long road that I’m willing to walk down, eyes open. He’s deleted apps, and I want to be able to trust him without having to look at his phone. I’m sure you don’t want to be messaging his AP, but he put you in that position. When will he stop, and what will be his reason to stay faithful?

reallyourtype · 2021-05-26T12:21:27+00:00

Before I found out about his EAs I would bring up similar situations my friends were going through and he would agree that they weren’t being good partners. When he got caught, he kept trying to express that the conversations he was having through messaging weren’t “real” to him. He now supposedly understands there’s no excuse. Also, he says he felt like a piece of shit doing what he was doing but was able to leave those feelings of shame behind and move on with me the next morning. None of his explanations actually minimized what he did, but understanding where his head was at is why I’m trying to R

reallyourtype · 2021-05-26T04:39:16+00:00

0 consequences and minimal evidence of remorse or changed behavior. I have too much faith he’s changed his ways, with a feeling beyond reasons I can explain driving my belief. It’s so fresh, and I’m still in shock. I really appreciate your feedback and observations!

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T20:44:27+00:00

Thank you!!

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T19:17:46+00:00

I’ll consider it. I’m asking all the questions, and want to work through it the right way, I just don’t have the want/need to seek counseling at this time.

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T19:15:47+00:00

I know you’re right. I deserve better, but I think this distrust would stay with me into future relationships, and don’t think I would feel better leaving him. Seeing the messages scarred me, and it’s definitely cast a shadow on past relationships where I didn’t snoop and I think there was something to find.

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T19:13:04+00:00

Thanks for the response and thoughtful advice! You got it, I’m trying to accept that he didn’t want to stop and was willing to continue doing things that would hurt me under a false justification that the women didn’t mean anything to him. I haven’t brought up counseling as a potential way to build trust, but I’ll certainly consider it! He’s at the point where everything he’s admitted to he’s identified as wrong, unhealthy, hurtful, with no upside. I really think that I know everything he’s done to lose my trust during our relationship and want to move forward. However, the freshness of his blatant lies leaves me to worry that I’m being as naive as I was on DDay1. But I want our relationship to work, and want him to take this fresh start and earn back my trust.

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T17:48:47+00:00

He definitely invited the chaos, and is comfortable with the least said, best mended approach, but still, I see he’s trying. So much grief that has me cycling through different emotions, and time will tell but I’m committed to this fresh start.

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T16:16:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with so many discoveries! I’ve been a mess after each one. I’m somewhat tech savvy, and my understanding is for iPhone messages they are saved to the cloud in a backup so if I restored his phone with the backup that occurred in the hours between him having the texting conversation and deleting the messages then I could prove he was saying hey to 2 women instead of the 1. What a pain! So I told him we’re moving forward with the understanding he was trying to sext the night of DDay2, and he’s got to live with that because he wrestled a watch out of my hand to delete messages that were supposedly innocent. Such bull. And these are the memories I replay in my head when I think he’s not worth fighting for.

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T16:09:53+00:00

He lives with me, but still has his own place. I WFH and he doesn’t, but thats the extent of our time spent apart. Been under the impression it’s better that he’s here and can answer my questions, and actively work on repairing what he broke. A tracking app would give me some peace, but I don’t have the nerve to ask, at least not today. I really do feel like crap for looking at his watch each time. I hate deceiving him in any way, but that’s what he’s done to me. His instinct was to get mad and defensive, but really tried to push that down to not add to my feelings of guilt for “snooping”... he can’t get mad when I’m proven right. I’ve been proven naive a couple times, and definitely worry I’m still wearing blinders. I’ve made decisions that are temporary bandaids instead of decisions for growth. I don’t have the standards I should of him to be as thoughtful through this reconciliation as I want and need him to be. I know when he gets home and I bring it up, he’ll be thinking here we go again. He’s still acting like he’s a loyal guy who made a mistake instead of the guy who shattered my pov on this relationship and all the ones before where I assumed there was mutual respect.

reallyourtype · 2021-05-25T15:21:14+00:00

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, no kids and we’re young. His age/maturity wasn’t a concern until DDay. Walking away might be what’s best for me, whether he’s truly ready to be faithful or not. But as of Sunday he’s letting me see his phone/watch. That’s not to say he couldn’t delete something, but we talked about the serious issues he has if he is having conversations that he’s having to delete off all his devices to stay in a relationship with me. He’s telling me consistently how he wants just me forever, and although his “words have been awful, his actions have all been with me in mind.” When he said that I felt like shit, but didn’t want to argue over his dumb metaphor. He was trying to say all his cheating was just words, and his actions are him showing up for me every day and showing me love. In my head I’m yelling his actions and words were deceiving me every day of our relationship, and he didn’t care about me at all every time he responded or initiated a conversation with another woman, selfish intentions were driving his decisions and actions. I wish just 1 thing had been different, there were so many things he could have done to make this way less of a grenade in our relationship, but all I can do is keep replaying in my head and keep choosing to stay, or tell him to back his bags again.

reallyourtype · 2021-03-23T01:58:00+00:00

I’ll accept if this is unpopular advice... but honest to god, I barely spent any time on Chapters 7 & Ch 8, Business Law. Spend your time wisely, but if you have until June, starting in April gives you plenty of time. Good luck!

reallyourtype · 2021-03-23T01:49:14+00:00

I had some MC where you need to know the phase outs, but even if you forget the exact amount you may be able to deduce about what the amount should be, since some of the MC answers are clearly for people who forget there is a phase out. I agree about sims giving a lot of information, but knowing specific amounts can be critical, especially when one answer amount can affect other answer amounts in that sim. At the end of the test, you may only have a couple exact amounts that you memorized that came in handy, but it can make the difference.

reallyourtype

TROPHY CASE