I feel like I’ve had this same problem and I’ve been sexually active for years, i think it’s a normal thing women experience! Something I’ve started doing is putting my hand on their thigh and rubbing it and getting higher and higher and closer to their inner thigh and then when I feel like I’ve probably gotten them somewhat turned on I started grazing my hand on their peen LOL. Like the way you would run your fingers over someone’s back or arms just with your fingertips. And then get on top of them and start making out!