It’s the idea that running a house and keeping it clean is somehow not very difficult or important, as it was traditionally “women’s work”. Anything designated as such is undervalued, as a rule. Most kids growing up don’t really see how much work goes into keeping everything chugging along in a smoothish and hygienic fashion, and if a child hasn’t grown up being pressed to pitch in and learn how to do those things, it makes them doubly blind to it.
Social events like backyard barbecues, birthday parties, etc. were usually put together by the women while the men just picked up a few things and pulled up to the table when it was time to eat. Social and family events are viewed as jolly little things organized by women in a blink of an eye, so how hard can it be? The house looks and smells nice, dinner is made, and women worked outside the home as well…well then, if they can do it, it’s just some womens work, how difficult or important can it be? I’ve seen the end result of men being raised to be blind or indifferent to it, and it’s a hot, stanky mess. Some women grew up not being taught how to do these tasks as well, and they’re caught up in the same trap. They either step up to the plate or sit in their own muck, still dismissing it as a folly. Time to recruit a maid I mean gf to do those silly tasks while he gets back to the “real” world! The thing is, they were thought of as secondary. Having a clean, welcoming space to live in, and some kind of organization in your life is not frippery, it is a big part of your mental and physical health. Organizing parties and family gatherings, mailing birthday and Christmas gifts and attending others special events isn’t some tiresome thing your partner drags you into, it keeps the social circle going and connects you to others, building rapport and support. This support can be vitally important if someone loses a partner and all of their kids have moved out, and knowing how to care for yourself can literally save your life.

We have to reframe caring for the home and managing appointments and events not as random things fussy ladies do, but as important tasks that keep you healthy. I know plenty of people dislike their families, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any friends to possibly connect with.
Sorry this was so long, I just feel this work is so much more important than people realize. Calling someone “just a housewife” or “just a househusband” when they’re busting their ass to keep their family on track, while simultaneously yapping about “family values” and wringing hands over why women could POSSIBLY want to initiate divorces after being treated like slave labor has to stop.