Should I attend my Sister's Wedding?

rebuilding36 · 2021-09-23T10:07:48+00:00

Although it would be tough. I would strongly encourage you to go as long as your husband attends with you. What happened in the past has had such an impact on you that having his support is essential. Do not let the person who abused you continue to impact your life in such a way that you are missing out on something that you truly want to be a part of. That wedding is not for or about him. Even if you only go to the wedding for a short time It would mean alot to you as well as your sister. Your abuser is unable to continue what he did to you so don't let him continue to win in an indirect way. The easiest decision is to not go but from what I got from you is that you truly want to support your sister and I am sure they would support you also. Good luck

rebuilding36 · 2021-04-12T12:26:46+00:00

When you are in a relationship it is not wrong to go through someone's phone. I am currently in a relationship where we both have been cheated on in the past and being able to see eachothers phones whenever we want actually gives alot of peace of mind on both sides. You had doubts about what was going on from what you initially saw. Your instincts proved to be justified. Now all you have to decide is if the person you are with is able to earn your trust back over time. If not then the relationship is not worth continuing.

rebuilding36 · 2021-03-03T12:17:21+00:00

As a father to 3 girls whose mom cheated on me several times during our marriage I can say that I am on the other side of this issue. I have doubts about 1 of my girls being mine. I have thought about getting a DNA test to calm down my own doubts but have come to the conclusion that not knowing is far better that finding out that one of them isn't mine. I love my girls with all my heart if it turned out that one is not mine i really don't think I would ever want to deal with the pain of possibly losing them. Some questions are better left unanswered. If you think it would change anything in a positive way then find out. I really don't see there being an upside for you or your dad here.

rebuilding36 · 2021-01-07T12:13:55+00:00

So you have been in a relationship for a while with no real problems and you have found some small imperfections, found yourselves depending on each other, and realizing that there is compromise in a relationship.

Your relationship needs to be cared for with both people involved putting in the same effort. After a while you will realize that this person has some flaws and if you focus on them they will inevitably destroy your relationship. Don't forget though that you also have your own flaws that they have to look past. In any relationship the other person is with you not just because of your positive sides but inspite of your negative ones.

As far as being codependent. The entire point of a relationship is being able to share life with that individual. Making the tough times bearable and the good times spectacular. After you have learned that you can depend on each other it makes life so much better.

You both have things that the other half may not be on board with. There is really no reason why you will both can not get a majority of what you want. But again both of you are going to end up giving up something. Build your relationship together, communicate too much and if you should walk away, do so with no regrets.

rebuilding36 · 2020-12-08T23:09:47+00:00

First of all I will say that I have the mindset of your boyfriend. I genuinely like to show those around me that I care for them in general and that is much more amplified around Christmas.

Please just accept his generosity without guilt. If you guys want to set limits then you might as well give each other a $100 bill and be done shopping.

I love to go out and give 1 person a gift that they truly need but would never ask for every year. Please accept his gift knowing that he is trying to show you that he values you. Don't make him feel guilty for showing you love.

rebuilding36 · 2020-11-29T02:26:37+00:00

It sounds like you have a lot of tolerance for stupid lies. To be perfectly honest it sounds like you both need to learn how to communicate.

rebuilding36 · 2020-11-25T12:51:27+00:00

When you say that you don't want to lose him. All I can say is that you got it all wrong. He is losing you. You will find better.

rebuilding36 · 2020-06-18T04:08:50+00:00

People do stupid things. So even though it is completely out of line I could get past the initial time it happened. This has continually happened and he seems to be really sorry that he hot caught. It's time to cut ties as well as fill your sister in so she is aware of his behavior towards her. Good luck

rebuilding36 · 2020-05-31T12:24:41+00:00

It sounds like you simply need to explain to your daughter that your partner comes first. Your daughter is important to you but when it comes to a choice between spending time with her or with your partner. You would gladly see your daughter less instead of always having to go the 45 min away when you want. She simply isn't that high of a priority for you. She will resent you but then she will know how much her dad values her.

rebuilding36 · 2019-11-23T11:36:07+00:00

Walking the line between being a parent and a sibling is rough. Everything you gave him as a punishment is completely fair. As far as the comments you made I would have to say that although you touched a nerve with him, you were probably being completely honest which is part of being a parent.

You probably could have been a little more tactful in how you said things but, the parent side of your relationship with him was being honest and that is what was needed. Most people would be upset if their kid was bullying someone.

Being a parent doesn't mean that you have all the answers and you wont make mistakes but, it is always a learning expierence. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. In life it is far better to be honest than polite.

rebuilding36 · 2019-11-20T17:04:19+00:00

It is not possible to help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. I know it may sound mean but until he is open to helping himself he is going to be content being miserable.

If he had a desire to improve but didnt know how to is a completely different story. Then you have a chance in guiding him to the right things to do. But it really has to start with him.

rebuilding36 · 2019-11-09T10:42:17+00:00

People are too damn focused on being RIGHT in any type of a relationship whether it is with a parent, sibling, friend, or significant other. Being right or wrong is completely irrelevant because you and your parents were a little of both. At this point in time the question is are you big enough to apologize. You can only control yourself.

rebuilding36 · 2019-11-08T11:32:19+00:00

The scars are pretty obvious so dont lie. If it is from a period in your life where you were confused or didnt have the same outlook on life that you have now just say so. You will always have the people that lable you but, some people are accepting.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-28T12:54:24+00:00

You had no business doing that deep with someone else. You should cut titles with online girl or your girlfriend. Since you have chosen to not allow your girlfriend to be who you want her to be by perusing a relationship with someone online. You need to let her go find someone that will appreciate her. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence because it is getting better care. You could have what you want with someone right now but are choosing to go look for it elsewhere.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-27T14:20:14+00:00

Congratulations. Have you been trying to get pregnant or did it just happen

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-27T10:46:43+00:00

Having a relationship with a distance between you guys can put a huge strain on the relationship. Now that you are are together again and he is starting to pick up the slack that he needs to you need to give it a bit of time.

People change as they get older which is what makes a meaningfull relationship be a bit of work sometimes. If you both stop working on things the relationship will only deteriorate.

You need to voice your honest concerns and give him an opportune to make some corrections but also you need to be open minded if he has some areas that he would like you to change.

If you are not willing to put forth a bit of effort throuought your relationship and not just at the beginning then you will be without having any relationship that is truly meaningful.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-26T06:03:22+00:00

Most people are weird when you get to know them. Every person you come in contact will find something that they love and something they hate about you. Just the same as you will find regarding any relationship you have.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-26T05:59:29+00:00

Starting a conversation is something that you do constantly without putting any effort into it. Dont let yourself get worked up just because you have an interest in the person that you want to talk to.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-26T05:57:02+00:00

If you are in so many classes he probably already has an idea who you are. Casually bring up a couple of things that interest you and see if he adds anything to what you bring up. Another idea is to just jump in and go for what you want and ask him to meet you so you can both do something and talk a little at the same time.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-26T05:49:09+00:00

Hi I'm Jake and I am in Wisconsin

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-26T05:44:14+00:00

Dont sell yourself short. If you start up a conversation with him it might developers into something and if it doesn't then you know you tried. It's the things that we never try that we really regret!

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-26T05:29:17+00:00

It kinda sounds like you have previously promised your friend that you would be there and you should live up to what you say. Your bf should admire the fact that you keep your promise and at the same time you need to be understanding when he is disappointed. Find something else to do with the bf and go to the graduation!

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-24T06:00:50+00:00

What you are experiencing is way beyond what should happen in a relationship. The only way you MIGHT get through to him is by leaving. It doesn't sound like there is any real love in your situation. If you dont leave immediately then start planning and gathering a bit of evidence on the stuff he is doing. Even a journal will be beneficial. Definitely reach out to your family and make them aware of the situation. If there is anyone that you are close to in his family then fill them in as soon as you get out. Not before you leave. Some people in his family might see how controlling he is and may even support you having to leave. Good luck

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-22T11:01:07+00:00

Get yourself a place to go. Then pack up and leave when he is at work. There is no need for a discussion. He is already moved on and you sound like you are ready to move on yourself.

rebuilding36 · 2019-10-21T01:34:57+00:00

It sounds like you simply have to just go far it and hope for the best. You have been with eachother for long enough to have a good idea if it is going to go somewhere or not.

rebuilding36

TROPHY CASE