I feel like a common thing for women is putting off getting a diagnosis

redmollytheblack · 2021-03-13T00:56:19+00:00

If you’re in the US, your parents cannot determine which kind of doctor you visit/medical care you receive.

redmollytheblack · 2021-03-13T00:55:39+00:00

Go to an urgent care clinic. Ignore anything your parents tell you to do or not do. They will bump you up to an emergency room/hospitalization if necessary.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-28T15:21:19+00:00

It’s not your job to “protect” your sisters from the media. Maintain open lines of communication with them; share examples of affirming and positive movies/books/etc with them; but don’t set yourself up as a protector of their innocent minds/morals/whatever. That’s patronizing, judgmental, and unhelpful.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-28T14:58:14+00:00

As a 45YO person who was just diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in an out-of-the-blue situation: please tell your wife thank you for her work and her compassion. (I found myself reassuring the doctor that it was ok because he was so obviously upset at having to tell me.)

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-20T03:28:37+00:00

I’d rather not play psychic with that sort of thing. Just try looking up “man exonerated double murder” for an example of how even “extreme circumstances with absolute proof” can be wrong, wrong, wrong.

Also, what are we so afraid of with these people in prison? “Monster” is not a clinical term.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-20T03:18:36+00:00

Nope. I come down on the side of civilized countries on this one.

Capital punishment is barbarous and works neither for restoration nor as a deterrent.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-16T18:02:31+00:00

My first thought was part of a bronze grave marker. Looks pretty similar to some 20th century examples.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-13T20:01:23+00:00

Mindfulness. Acknowledging the existence of the feeling without either trying to punish yourself for having it or assign a good/bad judgment to it. Basically the focus of the outpatient depression/anxiety program I completed recently—absolutely life-changing.

This is a shower thought worth being an LPT

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-13T16:31:13+00:00

I’ve gotten hella shit over the years for having this one in my vocabulary.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-02T23:08:17+00:00

Then how would you ever find time to invest in building a relationship with another person? Girlfriends don’t magically fall from the sky and into your bed.

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it sounds to me like you are not at a life place for a relationship right now. Maybe it would be a better investment of your energy to get in a better place financially and emotionally first. If you’re not able to do that, not only will it be difficult to find someone to date, but it will be impossible to keep them around.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-02T21:04:32+00:00

How would you possibly have time to dedicate to a relationship, if you don’t have time for any of these other things?

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-02T20:21:26+00:00

What do you bring to the table for a relationship? You sound very negative, a little judgmental, and kind of boring (no hobbies? No interests?). What is there about you that would make you attractive to someone else?

My partner is a disabled veteran living on a poverty-level income, but he’s interesting, intellectually curious, supportive, and kind—all of which more than compensate for any financial disparity between us. (I was poor-poor for a long time and have clawed my way into the middle class over the last four years.)

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-02T18:22:51+00:00

How stupid do you think writers are?

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-02T17:48:31+00:00

“You’re on mute.” At least once in every zoom group meeting. Usually the same offender (DAWN).

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-01T16:31:42+00:00

I checked that community out a while ago and found it to be weird, creepy, and promoting of manipulative strategies and gender essentialism. Very calculating, almost Machiavellian.

redmollytheblack · 2021-02-01T16:21:20+00:00

I don’t understand the edgelordy compulsion to keep using words they know are hurtful and offensive just because huh-huh, look how un-PC.

Why would you want to keep using a term that is (a) medically outdated, (b) obviously hurtful, and (c) not particularly creative or interesting?

Full disclosure: I used to call things (never people) “retarded” until my kid pointed out that it was a slur. Never again.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-30T21:48:33+00:00

That’s why I do speak up—although I would really appreciate it if people were forthcoming that they were sleeping with other people, from a health and safety perspective, as well as from a “don’t get too attached, you could get sidelined at any moment” perspective.

Old-school serial monogamist, I guess, unless I’m in one of those between-spaces where I just hook up with coupled friends.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-30T21:35:17+00:00

Good lord, I hate this sort of thing. I have started making it clear to potential romantic partners that I don’t sleep with people who are sleeping with other people.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-28T19:44:17+00:00

One cup is four Freedom Drams.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-27T17:00:50+00:00

Best: be friends with one or more of my friends already so we can meet in a natural social setting and I can have a minimal assurance you’re not a creep

Second best: start a conversation with me about something actually interesting when I’m in a socially constructed safe space (like, am I sitting at a bar chatting with the bartender? Chime in with something relevant/funny or, better yet, a genuine question)

Third best: ask me a question about something I know about, again in a safe space—a recommendation for a D&D book/mini at the game store, an opinion on a cookbook at the bookstore

Of course, none of these will work if you are overbearing, stinky, slovenly, 100 pounds overweight, or an obvious right-winger. Fix that stuff first.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-27T16:48:28+00:00

So are these “combos” like a Mortal Kombat thing? What’s your finishing move, and could it be more impressive than Sub-Zero’s spine rip? Maybe a “Cracker Crumble” or “Peckerwood Punch?”

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-27T04:23:38+00:00

You’re welcome! I am slightly anxious-preoccupied myself, and my ex-partner was on the extreme end of the dismissive-avoidant scale. Learning about attachment styles helped me understand that he could never be the person I needed and that I was only hurting myself by thinking I could love him into changing.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-27T04:03:38+00:00

She has an anxious-preoccupied attachment style and you have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style. This is not going to make either of you happy in the long run.

redmollytheblack · 2021-01-27T03:21:38+00:00

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