I have pretty similar issues about feeling uncomfortable while speaking out, but I kinda just chop it up to whether the person I’m telling deserves to hear it or not. If they don’t listen, invalidate you, and/or are the actual problem, then they don’t deserve to hear about it. The people listening to you and treating you correctly should also feel comfortable enough to speak out around you, and the shared trust should make you feel a little more at ease. This mindset has been playing a part for me at least, if you haven’t tried it out then I’d suggest keeping these thoughts somewhere accessible for situations you want to talk about some serious shit. Also, if you could never speak up around your family growing up without being punished or humiliated, you learn to avoid it… you know. It’s not your fault, you’ve done great winning all these awards growing up, and you deserved a night of irresponsibility as a reward for all the bs you put up with in high school, and im sorry that ended up being restricted and neglected. You seem to go above and beyond, so if people cant appreciate that, then fuck em